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Marriage

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by manic rose, Apr 24, 2011.


  1. manic rose

    manic rose PetForums VIP

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    Went to a wedding yesterday with my boyfriend. he's been married once before and I haven't. well after a few drinks went and put my foot right in it by asking if the day was making him want to go through the whole marriage thing again. think the horrified silence was answer enough. is not like am expecting a proposal, just want to know that it is a possiblity at some point in the future and that the first marriage hasn't put him off the idea completely. my parents have been married for over 30yrs. defo wanna get married someday but am not religous so not entirely sure why it bothers me so much :blink:
     
  2. CAstbury

    CAstbury PetForums VIP

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    Oops! :eek:

    I've been married twice before (widowed first at 23, then divorced at 47) and I dont know that I would bother again - after 22 years of marriage it still went wrong - dont know that a piece of paper makes any difference tbh.

    Has he spoken to you since? :D
     
  3. manic rose

    manic rose PetForums VIP

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    hahaha yea :) quickly recovered, said to him dont worry I'm not expecting a proposal! dont wanna scare the poor guy off, I'm nuts enough as it is without throwing marriage issues into the pot :blink:
     
  4. ballybee

    ballybee PetForums VIP

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    i'm not religious either, neither is my OH but we both see marriage as something more than just a bit of paper...i can't describe it but thats the way i was brought up....grow up, get a job, get married etc. My grandparents celebrated their 50th anniversary last year and my parents will have been married 22 years this year. I'll have been engaged 2 years on Thursday and i definatly see marriage as something worthwhile, it's like the ultimate act of declaring love and commitment i suppose although thats not why i want to do it. I love my OH and he loves me, we both want to be together for our lives and this is how we want to show that.

    I do realise that people can be together for their lives without marrying(just thought i'd mention it in case someone took the above the wrong way) and some people just don't like the idea, it's their life they can do as they please.
     
  5. CheekoAndCo

    CheekoAndCo PetForums VIP

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    Maybe he didn't expect you to ask him about it?

    I'm not really fussed about marrige and I'm getting more unfussed with the royal wedding.. Why can't they just go somewhere and have a small quick wedding? I know I would rather that :D
     
  6. northnsouth

    northnsouth PetForums VIP

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    It was my 33rd wedding anniversary on Friday. Marriage is right for me. But it is the love and commitment you feel that counts, not the ceremony or any piece of paper, they are just nice extras and excuse for a good party :D IMO.
     
  7. Waterlily

    Waterlily Amused

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    Lmao bad timing mate haha :D
     
  8. CheekoAndCo

    CheekoAndCo PetForums VIP

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    Also a good excuse the throw a party when you get divorced :p
     
  9. northnsouth

    northnsouth PetForums VIP

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    OMG no I have only just managed to train him!!
     
  10. MoggyBaby

    MoggyBaby PetForums VIP

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    My OH & I aren't overly religious - he calls himself agnostic, I call myself a non-practising Christian - but, for both of us, getting married was important. He has been married before and had a very bad time of it, for me it was a first time at the grand old age of 41! For us, being married is very special. I love calling him my husband. Not in a possessive, ownership way but in a 'I love this man very much and am proud to be married to him' way. I know that he feels the same.

    I don't have a problem regarding people who don't make this choice - each to their own and all that.

    We've been married just over 3 years now, at times it has been difficult but being with my husband is what makes every day special for me.

    I'm glad your boyfriend has recovered from the shock. I hope he realises that not every marriage ends badly and that he sees you as a viable option for trying again... :D

    If he floats your boat enough that is!!!!! :D :D :D
     
  11. manic rose

    manic rose PetForums VIP

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    he defo does for me :001_smile: know I have a lot of "issues" and some things from my past that would make most men head for the hills but it honestly doesnt seem to bother him. he's really sweet, caring and reliable. we're bother quite similar in that we are v quiet and shy. and he has three gorgeous girls who I love and the fact I dont want kids of my own isnt an issue for him :001_wub:

    but like ballybee said getting married is just one of those milestones like getting a job or a house I always assumed would happen. but finding someone I love is a v good thing :thumbsup:
     
  12. MoggyBaby

    MoggyBaby PetForums VIP

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    I was 41 when I finally got hitched for the first time. I didn't want kids either so that kind of takes the pressure off finding someone before the old lady biology goes into retirement. I was adamant that it wasn't ever going to happen for me - I hadn't even met anyone that I really wanted to hang out with on a more permanent basis so Hubby was a big bit of a shock I can tell you!!!

    You have got AGES yet so as the expression goes "Don't sweat it honey! :D
     
  13. LostGirl

    LostGirl PetForums VIP

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    We went to my sisters wedding yesterday (which was amazing!) her and her husband have been together about 18months or so

    Me and oh have been together nearly 10years but only the last 8-9months have we seriously chatted about getting married and have sort of settled on a date for 2.5 yrs time I think we are only really getting married now because we want to be proper husband and wife, I want to have the same name as him and our children. I think before I wasn't ready at all I didn't want the whole marriage thing I'm 26 now and only just getting ready for it lol

    I adore him, love him with every ounce of my body but I think if we rushed into marriage it would've spoilt our relationship I think I would've iykwim
     
  14. Bwy39

    Bwy39 PetForums Junior

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    I believe that society places far too much importance on marriage and not enough on solid relationships.

    I am with my second wife and have been for ten years due to my first wife of 37 years dying at a young age.
    This left me alone for nearly five years when my second wife came in to my life totally unexpected.

    Marriage is like medication as long as it is prescribed for you then it is not a problem but to allow yourself to be "forced" by society to marry just because it is the supposedly "right thing" to do I feel is wrong.

    As long as we cover all the legal sides of life when in a partnership then in my opinion there is nothing at all wrong with two people cohabiting.

    The only ingredients you really need to make it successful is lots of love and understanding with those the commitment will be there as a natural ingredient and I feel this is true married or not.
     
  15. manic rose

    manic rose PetForums VIP

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    thanks :001_smile: is just a bit weird sometimes as lots the girls I went to school with are now planning weddings or are already married.
     
  16. MoggyBaby

    MoggyBaby PetForums VIP

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    When I used to visit my mum, we'd often go down into the town and I'd see girls I went to school with pushing prams. I'd be like "Wow!! I went to school with her and now she's got a kid..... :eek:" to which my mother would reply in a voice dripping with sarcasm.... "Well, MOST girls are usually married with children when they get to their THIRTIES dear!!!"

    My reply was always "More bl**dy fool them then. I've still got far too much life to live to be bothered with that......!" :D :D :D :D :D
     
  17. WelshOneEmma

    WelshOneEmma PetForums VIP

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    I am 32 and getting married (for the first time) in 173 days! We have been together 6 1/2 years. neither of us is religious, but its important to me too, and him, and i have always refused to have kids until I am married (each to their own, but i always wanted that). really looking forward to it and so is he.

    the only issue with marriage i have these days is i get the impression that due to examples from 'celebritied' people think marriages aren't a big deal and easy to get out of, so once a problem comes along, rather than try to work through it, people just walk away :(
     
  18. snoopydo

    snoopydo PetForums VIP

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    marriage does'nt have to be about religious beliefs it's more of a Spiritual union to me you Can have non reglious ceremony's.
     
  19. manic rose

    manic rose PetForums VIP

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    totally agree with you on that, some people dont think of it so much "til death do we part", more as "until things get a bit bumpy". my parents have been married 30+ yrs and know at times things werent easy for them but they have stuck it out.
     
  20. manic rose

    manic rose PetForums VIP

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    at the wedding i went to at the weekend had to stop myself from rolling my eyes at all the god stuff. if/when get married will most defo NOT be in a church. think its a bit hypocritical for people who have never been to church in their lives to suddenly decide that god is important to them and it must be a church wedding. each to their own I suppose
     
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