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Male VERY jealous of female??? Please help!

Discussion in 'Cat Training and Behaviour' started by sfulwell, Sep 13, 2019.


  1. sfulwell

    sfulwell PetForums Newbie

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    I adopted a pair of cats a few days ago from someone who gave them up. The boy is quite bold & confident and the girl is quite shy but their last owner said they’d lived together for 3 years so I thought they’d keep each other in good company.

    Anyway, they seem to have started to settle and the boy has been very, very clingy when I’ve been home during the day - he always wants cuddles and follows me around whenever I do household tasks. The girl has been a bit more timid and likes to find a quiet corner in my spare bedroom, but when she does appear for a wander around the apartment or in the evening the boy is a bit of a bully! He hisses at me if he sees me stroking her and won’t have any of it if I try to stroke them both at the same time. At mealtimes he has a tendency to stare her down as well when they eat together so that she backs off and he can steal her wet food :( I’ve now had to feed her wet portions separately to make sure she gets enough. Willow (F) is so loving when we have secret cuddles in the spare room but doesn’t dare come sit with me in the living room if Smudge (M) is on the sofa or nearby. Any advice on how I can help the situation at all is appreciated! I worry that they might tear each other apart when I’m not around as I’ve already heard hissing and fighting at night when we’re in bed and all I want is for them to get along!
     
  2. chillminx

    chillminx PetForums VIP

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    Hello @sfulwell and welcome :)

    It is still early days, the cats have only been with you a short while and they are both feeling anxious and insecure in the new environment. It is a big change for them as cats are very attached to their territory and they have just lost theirs, as well as losing their owner.

    There is also competition for feline resources at present. Make sure you provide plenty of everything feline so as to reduce the competition between them as much as possible. e.g. at least 3 litter trays, preferably 4.

    Also provide several water bowls around the home.

    Cat scratch posts and scratch pads in every room.

    Plenty of high up places to rest e.g. tall cat trees, or places on top of tall cupboards with safe routes up and down for the cats.

    A number of cat beds so they can swap around where they sleep as cats like to do.

    Importantly, do not feed them next to each other. Competition is reduced if cats are fed out of sight of each other e.g in different rooms or if fed in the same room, feed one on the floor and one on a table or shelf. This should be a permanent arrangement. Food is a major source of competition between cats who are housemates. If food theft is an issue I would buy them each a microchipped feeder. ("Fetch" has the cheapest price at present + a 15% discount for first orders)

    If they are fighting at night I would separate them at bedtime and shut them in different rooms with their supper etc. It will be potentially damaging to their relationship being allowed to fight, as cats can be very unforgiving of their housemate cats when they fall out. Even if they are siblings who have grown up together.
     
  3. sfulwell

    sfulwell PetForums Newbie

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    Thank you for this! Cats we’ve had in the past have always shared litter so I’ll definitely look into getting extra trays. We do have scratchers in every room but they tend to just mix and match.

    As a quick update: they seemed a lot more civil when I woke up this morning and I didn’t hear any fighting last night. Both were asleep in the spare bed but I’ve still set up their feeding stations in separate rooms. Will see how they get on!
     
    Gallifreyangirl and chillminx like this.
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