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Living alone (with my dog).......

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Linda Weasel, Jul 14, 2019.


  1. Linda Weasel

    Linda Weasel PetForums VIP

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    I just want to do a little shout out to all the ladies (and gents) on the forum who are going it alone, especially if you’re past spring chicken-hood.

    Sometimes it’s really tough living on your own, having to take all the responsibilities, make all the decisions without a partner to share it with, have nobody but yourself to share the blame when things go wrong and telling the dog about your bad day cos there’s no one else to listen and sympathise. And having no ‘safety net’.

    For myself, despite all this, I like it best when I think of the alternatives...
     
  2. Lurcherlad

    Lurcherlad PetForums VIP

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    I’m happy having my OH around but think if I end up alone in the future I’ll stay that way but definitely have animals to keep me company.

    Can’t imagine starting over with someone new.

    Also better to be alone than unhappy with someone :)
     
  3. catz4m8z

    catz4m8z PetForums VIP

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    Must be tough if alone isnt your natural state, I dont have that problem though!:D Ive always been alone since I left college, just me and the pets. TBH I couldnt imagine sharing my living space with someone else. All that talking and compromising over what to watch on telly? Getting annoyed coz they left the towels on the floor or some washing up in the sink!? (I do this all the time but would be totally annoyed if someone did it to me!LOL:Shy). Something larger and more irritating then a 6Ib Chihuahua in my bed!?:Jawdrop:Rage

    Think Im just one of those people who is designed to live alone....like a hamster!:)
     
  4. ebonycat

    ebonycat PetForums VIP

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    I’m doing it all alone
    My fiancé died 14years ago. I had a brief r’ship since then but I didn’t want nothing serious with them.
    My first serious r’ship was with an abusive guy, who also got a lot of money out of me so I’ve not had much luck when it comes to men in my life.
    I’ve built myself up again, I have my own home, my two cats, Lady dog & ratties.
    I’m happy with it being just us.
    I’m my own person, do what I want & when I want it & that’s how I like it.
    I guess I’m selfish now as I don’t want to share my life with another human, I much prefer animals
     
    #4 ebonycat, Jul 14, 2019
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2019
  5. Cleo38

    Cleo38 PetForums VIP

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    I've been single for nearly 6yrs now (longest times ever) & love it!! At times I miss having a BF .... odd jobs that need doing round the house & when I'm doing some heavy lifting I could do with some help with but apart from that I'm actually the happiest & most content I've ever been. I can't imagine being in a relationship now, am too lazy & too set in my ways tbh
     
  6. kimthecat

    kimthecat PetForums VIP

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    It can be tough on your own but you can be lonely in a relationship .
    I was on my own for a few years in my 40s and enjoyed the freedom of making my own choices though it was difficult financially. The best thing is that you are emotionally free and no one is going to break your heart . You're responsible for your own happiness.
     
  7. Mum2Heidi

    Mum2Heidi PetForums VIP

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    Heidi and I have been flying solo for 5 years (hubby died).
    Feels like some idiot forced me off the main road into a side road. Lost, with no idea where I was going, eventually I found a beautiful little spot that I never want to leave:)
     
  8. samuelsmiles3

    samuelsmiles3 PetForums Member

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    I've been single for a long time now. Until a few years back I was not a dog lover and wondered what it was with all these strange people I used to see walking their dogs. I just didn't 'get it'. That all changed with a totally lucky incident when my brother telephoned me and asked me if I could help him fit some bedroom wardrobes he had made for a customer (he's a cabinet maker.) The owners had a beautiful grey merle Border collie and he kept on bringing us his owner's socks to play with him. When me and my brother sat down on the bed for lunch the collie came back again, sat down right in front of me and looked straight into my eyes. At that point I did 'get it'.

    So now, eight years on with my own two collies, I have never been more content. For a few hours a day we walk together in the woods, by rivers and lakes, explore new villages and just sit down thinking of nothing important. I owe my brother a big debt for phoning me that day. I'm not single - I have my dogs with me 24 hours a day, every day. :)
     
  9. Boxer123

    Boxer123 PetForums VIP

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    I admire you I feel I have wasted so many years.

    This is a nice thread. My marriage has recently ended. I am now on my own for the first time since I was 18 (I'm 36). When I look back I am ashamed to admit I was scared to be alone. I bought into the thinking that you should be married or in a relationship.

    Now I feel that's all I want to be alone I've made so many compromises over the years to make other people happy. I've put my needs second.

    Of course I have my boys who I love so I never feel truly alone. Although Loki did poop on the carpet this morning I guess a human would not do that.

    The only thing I am finding hard is when I go out ( I rarely do) I am clock watching because I know no one else is home with them. I need to be more organised and book a sitter for the odd occasion. Does anyone else do this?
     
  10. lullabydream

    lullabydream PetForums VIP

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    You haven't wasted anything... What we go through makes us stronger.

    You might not realise it but sitting from afar me here, the ability to compromise or reach decisions together that you might not be ok with to some degree can be a great life skill...it doesn't make you a push over either. It has probably shaped you for the better....which had now enabled you to be strong and independent!
     
  11. Cleo38

    Cleo38 PetForums VIP

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    Sorry to hear that @Boxer123 , I think we can all feel like that at times, society seems to suggest that there is something wrong with being single ... no idea why! There was something on R2 at the weekend celebrating being single which I found odd in some ways as there are so many reasons people are single & just not sure why it;s such a big deal tbh.

    I hardly ever go out now but when I do I am the same regarding the dogs.I hate leaving them & frequently miss events so they aren't left (although I have a dog flap so they can go out when they choose for toilet breaks or to sun bathe)I do have to watch that I don't isolate myself too much as it's very easy for me to do. Much as I love spending my time with just me & the dogs I do realise that it does me good to go out occasionally without them .... although sometimes when I'm out I do question this!! :D
     
    #11 Cleo38, Jul 15, 2019
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2019
  12. Boxer123

    Boxer123 PetForums VIP

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    I'm the same I will miss events because of my boys but also because I'm anti social! I'm trying to push myself more. My dog walker has offered to boxer sit when I do my marathons which is good. When I can I take them for example the pub or walks with friends. My close friends know I'm like this and try to arrange boxer friendly events.
     
  13. Boxer123

    Boxer123 PetForums VIP

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    That's a nice way of looking at it I have been a push over unfortunately I'm looking forward to doing my own thing now.
     
  14. Cleo38

    Cleo38 PetForums VIP

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    Yes, am very anti-social nowadays but am so happy being at home with the dogs (& cats) that I honestly don't want to go out.

    We had a lovely late afternoon on Saturday, all tired from walking/training/playing (& I ran 6 miles in the morning) so we all cuddled up on the sofa. I listened to a My Favourite Murder podcast eating peanut butter filled chocolate covered dates (mmmmmm!!!) & the dogs had their trachea chews ..... such a perfect, relaxing time! :)
     
  15. Boxer123

    Boxer123 PetForums VIP

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    I'm the same pjs on and boxer cuddles bliss. Just don't get your snacks mixed up with theirs :Depressed
     
  16. Cleo38

    Cleo38 PetForums VIP

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    Hahahaha, much as I love my dogs there was no way they were getting any of my gorgeous dates!!! Even if Roxy did pause with her chew to look over & see what I had :D;)
     
  17. Sacremist

    Sacremist Mum to 2 cats and a dog

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    I’m still married, but hubby is 13 years my senior, so there’s a very good chance I could find myself alone one day. I can’t imagine living with anyone else. I found the first few years of marriage really difficult. We had to learn how to live together and how to compromise. The thought of having to go through all that again makes me shudder. I’m not saying I wouldn’t be open to having another relationship, but I would not want to share my home again.
     
  18. Mum2Heidi

    Mum2Heidi PetForums VIP

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    Sacremist, that’s me exactly. Not the age difference but hubby died young.
    I had the most wonderful 20 years (once we settled) and I’ve no regrets.
    Now is a new chapter. A blank canvas and I don’t want to blot it.
    I miss things only a relationship brings but they get less and are outweighed by the many good points.

    Heidi is my priority because I want her to be. Those that matter know it. Either we come as a team or I’ll leave her for 4 hrs - away from her meal times.
     
    SusieRainbow, FAW56, ebonycat and 4 others like this.
  19. Boxer123

    Boxer123 PetForums VIP

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    I have the same rule although it's 3 hrs at the moment as Loki is only a bab. I think this will cause a bit of grumbling from my family at xmas but I'm actually looking forward to spending most of the day with my boys.
     
  20. Lurcherlad

    Lurcherlad PetForums VIP

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    If we’re wanting to be out more than 5-6 hours max then a friend will either go round and take Jack for a walk or take him round her house for a few hours.

    I’m sure Jack would be fine much longer - he goes 10 hours easily during the night - but it gives me peace of mind.

    No different to having a dog walker in the daytime really.
     
    SusieRainbow, niamh123, FAW56 and 2 others like this.
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