[DanWalkersmum]

Lily: The Fat Mum is still being Mean. Last night we decided to tell her at Dear God Hounds It Is Three In The Sodding Morning Okay Okay I Am Coming Stop Bloody Barking O'Clock that we needed a wee.

When she opened the back door Quick Quick Please Hounds, she discovered that we were playing a Trick. We did not need a wee - we wanted to play with the hedgehogs. There was a little hedgehog mumphing around the patio, but he did not want to play Fun Games but rolled himself into a Prickly Ball and She dragged us both back inside before we could try to persuade him to play.

And when She got us back inside she said No It Is Not Time For Breakfast and went back to bed!!

Poor FM, not fun for her!

 

[tyg'smum]

Lily: A parcel arrived for Tommy and Me today, but iz not very 'citing. FM sez it iz a Furst Ade Kit and Iz Essential. It looks like a Very Expensive Torturer's toolkit to uz. She sez if we iz Very Careful she may never need to open it.
FM: We went on a group walk recently and one of the hounds started to hyperventilate and then collapsed. Fortunately the kennel's vet had joined us - it turned out that the poor hound had been stung by a wasp in his mouth and was having an allergic reaction. I'm pleased to say that after antihistamine had been administered the poorly hound recovered. So we ordered a dog first aid kit - to which I've added spray plaster and, Tommy's nails being a constant problem, a cloth to use for a cold compress - and I am going to ask kennels if they might consider running a first aid course.

 

[tyg'smum]

Tommy: Me and Lily took our people on a new walk today! We found it ourselves! We decided we wanted to walk down the path to the cart track rather than go through the woods to the track (and Fat Mum said Thank Goodness, The Nettles On The Path From The Woods Are Shoulder High And I Have Short Sleeves On) and when we got to the bit where we normally turn right I said the bit that goes straight on (which is usually very muddy) looks interesting, so we walked down there and past the school and then we got to a bit that was Very Muddy Indeed. But there were woods on one side and Lily saw that there were paths in the woods (and no giant nettles!) so we went 'sploring though the wood and suddenly we were in the country! It was sunny and warm and fab and FM said Next Time We Will Bring A Picnic. And when it was time to go home we got lost in the wood and came out in a different place, but FM sed I Can See The Old Colliery Chimney And All Saints Church Spire So I Know Which Way We Need To Head and the Twit sed Gawd Blimey, Practical Geography Strikes Again (but FM did not deign to reply) and we ended up in a road not far from where we live called Rosemary Avenue which FM sez sounds much more bucolic than it really iz.

Lily: Weren't we clever ??