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Letter to dogs

Discussion in 'Dog Chat' started by Dally Banjo, May 5, 2010.

  1. Dally Banjo

    Dally Banjo PetForums VIP

    Oct 22, 2009
    Likes Received:
    Found this a bit old but still very funny :lol:

    Dear Dogs

    The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other
    dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the
    middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and
    dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

    Our house was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to
    the next room is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall
    faster than you can run.

    I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about
    this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your
    comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not
    necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest
    extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues
    hanging out the other end to maximise space is nothing but sarcasm.

    For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some
    miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary
    to claw, whine, growl, etc. Or try to turn the knob. I must exit through the
    same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine
    attendance is not mandatory.

    The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog's butt. I cannot
    stress this enough!
    To pacify you, my dear dogs, I have posted the following message on our
    front door:

    To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Dogs:

    1. They live here. You don't.
    2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
    (That's why it's called 'fur'niture)
    3. I like my dogs a lot better than I like a lot of people.
    4. To you, it's an animal. To me, they are my adopted children. They just
    happen to be short, hairy, walk on all fours and whine & growl instead of
    speaking like you do.

    Remember, Dogs are better than kids because they:
    1. Eat less
    2. Don't ask for money all the time
    3. Are easier to train
    4. Usually come when called
    5. Never ask to drive your car
    6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
    7. Don't smoke or drink
    8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions
    9. Don't wear your clothes
    10. Don't need a gazillion pounds for college, and
    11. If they get pregnant, you can just sell their children if you want to.
    babycham2002 likes this.
  2. rona

    rona Guest

    You've been looking at the same sites as me tonight :thumbup: :lol:
  3. Clare7435

    Clare7435 PetForums VIP

    Dec 17, 2009
    Likes Received:
  4. kim645

    kim645 PetForums Member

    Nov 3, 2008
    Likes Received:
    Thats excellent :thumbup::thumbup: Where did you find this? xx
  5. just4alaff

    just4alaff PetForums Member

    Apr 22, 2010
    Likes Received:
    hahaha this is brilliant xx
  6. Dally Banjo

    Dally Banjo PetForums VIP

    Oct 22, 2009
    Likes Received:
    I think it must have been emailed & I saved it :D Ive been trying to find something else on my pc & keep getting side tracked by funny stuff :rolleyes: :lol:
  7. Cleo38

    Cleo38 PetForums VIP

    Jan 22, 2010
    Likes Received:
    :lol: That brightened up my morning already!!
    Sleeping in the bed was of particular relevence as I was woken up byToby grumbling at 4am as I wouldn't let him up on my bed (when he does get in he takes up so much room & nicks all the covers)..... I am so selfish!!
  8. Nicky10

    Nicky10 PetForums VIP

    Jan 11, 2010
    Likes Received:
    That's brilliant
  9. Nellybelly

    Nellybelly PetForums VIP

    Jul 20, 2009
    Likes Received:
    That is just excellent. Love it!
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