Well he had his 6 week check up last week , bloods , urine and poop samples tested and all came back fine no problems from meds . Overall he is doing very well considering the Neurologist gave me the impression that he would be paralyzed fairly soon if he didn't have the op. The Tramadol the Neurologist put him on ( along with the Gapapentin and Galaprant ) have been a life saver for him and are still keeping his pain under control . He is eating and drinking well and still wants to go for walks although he can only manage short walks now , he also still want's to play now and again but again not for as long as he did . Don't really know if this is because of pain , just a bit of discomfort or tiredness because of all the drugs he is on or a mix of all of the above , but I let him set the pace for all exercise and play . He still has problems with pooing and peeing but the vet sorts that out without being to invasive . He is deteriorating slowly , his bouts of incontinence are getting more frequent but not drastically and do not cause him any stress as he doesn't realise he is doing it and are no big deal to me . His back right leg has started giving way under him ,not very often at the moment and does not seem to cause him any discomfort or pain , he is up in a second and carrying on as if nothing has happened. He is still enjoying life . he does have days when he is quiet and doesn't want to do anything except cuddle on the sofa and that is fine too . Have been told by my vet after a long chat that he could tick along the way he is now with slow deterioration for an indefinite period or something could go suddenly they can't really say . So we are still taking things as they come day to day and trying to enjoy the time we have whatever amount that may be . Me I am not doing so well , my depression and anxiety are through the roof , I am constantly on edge watching and waiting for something bad to happen . I can't sleep because I am frightened of waking up to find him paralyzed beside me . I am terrified of catching Covid ( which I know I wouldn't survive as I already have lung problems ) and leaving him behind . None of my family could take him for various reasons and they certainly couldn't afford his vet care , his medication is over a £100 a month that is without his other treatment he has to have to keep him comfortable and I don't want him to think that I have deserted him when he needs me the most . I am crying all the time and feel so useless and I don't no what to do . You will all probably think that I am being stupid but I can't stop these thoughts going round in my head . Sorry it's so long and thanks for reading .