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Keeping busy

Discussion in 'Cat Chat' started by Purplecatlover, Jan 14, 2021.


  1. Purplecatlover

    Purplecatlover PetForums VIP

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    Hi everyone. Sorry In advance I’m just really struggling. I’m in bed again, it’s the only thing I look forward to as when I’m asleep i don’t have to think about being alone, the long days or anything else. Living alone is really, really hard and I don’t see the lockdown ending, even in feb/March. I’ve been totally honest with my care coodinator, she didn’t know what to do or say. I can’t do this much longer.

    What are you guys doing to keep busy? What are your daily routines?
    Sorry it’s not about cats, I’d just prefer to speak to you guys as I know you all
     
  2. Boxer123

    Boxer123 PetForums VIP

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    I’m sorry you are feeling like this I live alone and know how isolating it can be at the moment.

    I’m lucky I am working albeit from home but it does keep me busy. I also have the dogs and run. Do you like any sports ? How about an online course ? I have always studied online. I try and have a routine each day. Could you volunteer maybe with a food bank ?
     
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  3. Ringypie

    Ringypie PetForums VIP

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    I totally understand where you are coming from. I didn’t do well living on my own - and that was with working and looking after Ringo. I ended up moving in with one of my friends for a while which was fun.
    Can you get another appointment with the social prescriber? Did anything come of those courses you signed up for?
    Could you take up running? I find it’s so good for my mental health. You don’t have to go far or fast but I find it really settles my mind. Then if you enjoy it there are virtual events and challenges you can join - and they often have Facebook pages where you can chat to others who are doing the challenge.
     
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  4. LittleEms

    LittleEms PetForums Senior

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    I second an online course. Have a look at either the Open University free ones or Future Learn and see if there’s anything that interests you. I love doing them, especially the Future Learn ones.

    Also the running - I can’t personally run but I do a lot of walking and have joined the Conqueror Challenge as it’s really motivating me to move which in turn makes me feel good.
     
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  5. Emmasian

    Emmasian Mother of Pumpkins

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    You can do online courses in cat behaviour - probably because I am always googling why is this particular Pumpkin doing this, I tend to end up being offered them in FB.

    I also think if you are able to, you should try to get out for a walk once a day, even if it means dragging yourself. Go a bit further each time or try different routes.

    I took two weeks off over Xmas and found during the second one, when the bad news was just all around us, that living alone was for once doing my head it. I am a huge texter and user of social media but I missed talking to people and seeing them. As such I've started actually ringing people or video calling them which has helped.
     
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  6. Ringypie

    Ringypie PetForums VIP

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    There is a ‘so social’ group in our town for people who are lonely / new to the town and wanting to make friends. I wonder whether there is anything like that near you? They do virtual zoom meetings for anyone who fancies it to drop in and have a chat.
    How about crochet? It’s really easy to pick up - I learned looking at Bella coco tutorials online - and you can make some really beautiful things.
     
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  7. ebonycat

    ebonycat PetForums VIP

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    I live alone, well with Ebony & Alfie & 8 fancy ratties. Plus Lady dog, but she’s been living with my mum & step father for the last 4 weeks as a week before Christmas I suffered severe reactions to the new tablets my lung specialists put me on & I couldn’t walk her.

    Anyway walking Lady a few times a day certainly helped my mental health.
    Getting fresh air & just generally seeing other people (not talking to them, just passing them & saying morning) helped.

    Go for a little walk, you don’t have to go far, is there a park where you live?

    I wish I was crafty but I have no patience for anything like that. Believe me I’ve tried them all, can’t knit to save my life :Arghh

    Ever since I was young I’ve always been an avid reader but from March last year when I first experienced all my breathing problems I couldn’t focus on anything ‘heavy’.
    All I could do was come online to PF, & go on Twitter (I don’t do Facebook).
    I just used to read all the threads, tweets etc.
    Nothing that was too heavy for me to think about.
    I posted messages, chatted to everyone, if it wasn’t for everyone on PF supporting me, sending me get well wishes, seeing everyone’s lovely pictures of their cats & dogs, just talking about their day to day lives, there’s no way I could have got through two hospital stay admissions, countless hospital visits/ tests.

    They say it’s good to talk, but sometimes that’s very hard to do, especially when you’re feeling low.
    But when you push yourself to try & get involved with something it does help your mental wellbeing.

    I’ve gone through years of therapy, I’ve attended countless CBT courses, well-being courses etc.
    Online & offline.
    You just have to put in the effort to find what’s right for you.
    Type into google online CBT courses, mental wellness/ wellbeing courses. They may really help you learn to understand how & why you feel how you do & learn ways to mange your feelings.

    You do have a support worker, don’t you? Can they put you in touch with any support groups? I’m not sure if any are running at the moment because of Covid but you can ask.
    I haven’t seen my own support worker since March, he does phone me, when he remembers.

    Go onto google & look up support groups for mental health.
    MIND website is very good, I can’t remember what the site was called but it had a forum where other members were in a similar position as me. They had all different mental health issues, posting all about different things, giving help & advice, support etc. It got me through some of my darkest days & nights.

    Do you read? Sometimes reading can help you escape your present life, don’t read nothing too heavy, like horror etc.
    Even picking up a fluffy, lighthearted, girlie book can give you the escape you need. Something that makes you laugh, laughter lifts our mood.
    Even though I’ve read many really heavy going books, like reference books, thriller, crime etc theres always been times when I’ve just needed to read something silly, lighthearted, funny.

    Do you watch tv?
    Or do you go onto YouTube & just type in something you’re interested in, I don’t know? Funnest Britain’s got talent clips, your favourite artists music videos, old comedy sketches.
    I do this all the time in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep.

    Just remember these feelings you’re having will pass, it may not feel like it at the time but things do get better.
    You have to go easy on yourself, take one day at a time.
    You have the sweetest little boy that loves you, he wants to be with you.

    Alfie can be a little sod at times, he’s intent on killing me every time I go down the stairs, he meows his head off just before he uses his litter tray, but then he something funny, or cute, or when I get into bed at night he snuggles up to me purring.

    Talk on here, I bet most of us have experienced some of what you’re feeling.

    Take care xx
     
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  8. Summercat

    Summercat PetForums VIP

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    I think the idea of walking, running, hiking is good. Being out in nature helps with mental health as well.

    I would try to do it in a more group way. Even if with covid you cannot run in a group but maybe do some type of socially distanced group hike.
    There may be an online local walkers group that share walks they have done, recommend other walks, count miles walked etc. Something that makes it less solitary if that would help you even if you are only comparing walks online.

    Myself, I like hiking or walking alone when I want to think but I know my OH when he goes to the gym or swimming he goes with a friend, as that is motivation to get up and go and not procrastinate. So a group event (socially distanced may help) or a virtual group.

    Also when spring is coming soon, can you look into maybe volunteering to help plant flowers or maintain scenic areas in your town.
    Even a group meet to collect rubbish from a park is doing something good and getting out in the fresh air.
    Volunteering at a local animal shelter is another idea.
    Having something scheduled and planned helps to focus and get out.

    Are you taking vitamin D? Sometimes this time of year can be melancholy. If you can, try to get a little light in the day outdoors and take vitamin D3.
     
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  9. Boxer123

    Boxer123 PetForums VIP

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    Another thing you could do (not sure how doggy you are I know this is cat chat) but cinnamons trust looks for people to walk dogs whose owners may be ill or unable to get out.
     
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  10. Purplecatlover

    Purplecatlover PetForums VIP

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    Thankyou everyone. I see my care coodinator once a week still. I’ve been leant a tablet too so I can start with the online courses, finding it difficult to zone out to do it though - going to try and do it on my dressing table.

    struggling with my motivation. It’s snowed heavy here but once it’s cleared I’ll try going for a walk// run!! & also see if there’s anyone that needs their dog walking too.

    everyday is just like one long day it’s so difficult. Music & Jasper are the only things getting me through. Will definitely try the suggestions though because I can’t carry on like this.
     
  11. Boxer123

    Boxer123 PetForums VIP

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    Couch to 5km is a good program to follow although I started just by running between lampposts. Come over to the running thread we are all at different levels and it’s really supportive.

    I know what you mean about the days being long I struggled so much over Xmas not working. Hopefully things will improve this year.
     
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  12. Orla

    Orla PetForums VIP

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    Is there any volunteering you can do to help others? This could break your days up and give you a sense of purpose. I know you don’t have a car so helping elderly and vulnerable with shopping may be a bit harder but there could be some other way to help locally. If you use Facebook there are often community support groups tagged on the local area pages. I live alone but I’m nhs and we are so snowed under, my days off are usually spent sprawled on the sofa putting my head back together ready to go back to work again.
     
  13. Ringypie

    Ringypie PetForums VIP

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    If you get into walking / running it might be worth downloading strava if you have a smart phone. Then you can map where you go. I find it really motivating to try and beat my time over different segments when I’m running, and also just nice to see how you improve over time.
     
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  14. chillminx

    chillminx PetForums VIP

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    @Purplecatlover - you could contact your local Food Bank and offer to help put together boxes of food a couple of afternoons a week, so you have some purpose at present. This would give you some company. There is probably somewhere local to you, like a church hall, where a Food Bank is being run from. If it is too far to walk to, ask the organisers if there is anyone going in from your direction who would be willing to give you a lift.

    You may not be religious, but it doesn't matter at all - your local C of E, Methodist church or Mosque etc will currently have a support system for people on their own who are struggling with their mental health. They don't mind anyone turning to them for support when it is needed. They are good people and all they want to do is help where they can. My local C of E church is running all sorts of morale boosting events including home visits from nice people who come and chat with you at home over a cup of tea. And I promise they don't talk about God or religion unless you want them to. Be brave and give it a try. You never know you might make some new friends for life :)
     
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  15. Ringypie

    Ringypie PetForums VIP

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    That’s a good thought. Our local Methodist church are also doing that sort of thing. The Salvation Army are also doing what they can. I’ve had dealings with our local Lieutenants (who are a married couple) through work, they are absolutely lovely and do a lot of fantastic work.
     
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  16. ebonycat

    ebonycat PetForums VIP

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    I completely agree with this^^^^

    Though I’am religious I haven’t been to my group of three local churches since beginning of last year, due to my ill health, churches then had to close because of Covid, they then reopened, but because I’m clinically extremely vulnerable i can’t risk going into them.
    But they have been running support groups, online zoom meetings once a week, weekly phone calls to check up on people.
    Believe me they don’t talk about god unless you want to talk about him.
    They just chat about everyday things, ask you if you need any help or support with anything.
    They are very understanding with everything & will just listen if that’s what you need.
     
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  17. ebonycat

    ebonycat PetForums VIP

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    Also @chillminx idea about volunteering at your local food bank would be great for you.
    You’d meet other people, it will get you out for a few hours a week & you’d be helping your local community.
    My local food bank is held in the next town from me, in a church hall.
    Just type in food bank in your area into google & give them a call, just say you’re thinking of volunteering & ask them what it involves, times of day/ on what days etc.
     
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  18. ebonycat

    ebonycat PetForums VIP

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    Also try not to think about when/ if lockdown will end. It will only stress you out more & play on your mind.
    Just take each day at a time.

    I know not everyone likes housework but when I set my mind to it & get started it’s actually very therapeutic, just start off in one room & go from there.
    Or just go around your home tidying up.
    About six months ago I cleaned out my whole bedroom, started with my wardrobes, got rid of everything that either didn’t fit me anymore or that I hadn’t worn in years & just got rid of it.
    As I’ve said before I’m a huge book reader & my gosh I’ve held on to so many books as I hate throwing them away (scared I’d want to read them again one day), but I was determined to sort them out & finally keep only the ones I really couldn’t bare to part with.
    It felt so good.
    My charity shops weren’t open or taking in anything at the time because of Covid, I don’t know if your ones are but you could ask them, if you have any clothes or books etc that you don’t want anymore.
    Even clearing out my kitchen cupboards, the cats food cupboards I find really uplifts me.
    It clears my head of all the ‘fog’ thats in my head at times.

    I think there’s a saying that’s something like cluttered home, cluttered mind.
    And that’s so true.
     
    #18 ebonycat, Jan 15, 2021
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2021
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  19. chillminx

    chillminx PetForums VIP

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