Hi, I know I might get totally bashed for writing this and I do deserve it, but maybe somebody could relate or have some words of wisdom... This is going to be a long one, sorry. Me & my SO lost one of our dear cats totally unexpectedly this june and it broke our hearts. She got sick and her health crashed during just one day and there was nothing we or the emergency vet could have done. We still don't know for sure what happened but it was a very traumatic day. Earlier this year we had decided to get a rescue dog from another country, but due to covid and the dog's health issues her arrival got postponed for months. We got to know the date of her arrival on the same exact day our cat passed away, and only three weeks after we picked her up. I had started having doubts whether it was too early for a completely new pet and change of life after such a big loss. Anyway we did go through with getting the dog. Ever since she came to our home I've had major anxiety. I have a history of anxiety and depression but I haven't had this sort of issues for a few years now so I had no idea this would happen. On the first days with the dog I had such bad anxiety attacks that I was almost hysterical and couldn't get a hold of myself. I learned that there is a thing called puppy blues and also dog adoption blues, but I am starting to doubt if it's just that. Only three weeks after the dog came, we had to euthanize our 15 years old cat due to her kidney disease and other health issues that had been under control for the past two years. I was devastated, and felt like I hadn't given her enough attention and enjoyed her last weeks because I had been so anxious about the dog 24/7. We went from having three cats to only one cat. It's now been almost three weeks since our oldest cat's passing, 7 weeks since the dog came and I feel like I can't even grasp the thought that I have just lost two of my cats in such a short time. I am mostly unable to grieve their passing, this current situation with the dog takes up all my headspace and I'm stuck in this limbo of wanting to just grieve and have a breather before even considering any new pets, and having to forcefully accept that we now have a dog. As a disclaimer, I do like dogs in general, have been ok with other people's dogs and I wish her nothing but well, but I have hypersensitivity so having a dog of my own is more stressful for people like me than for average person I guess, and I wish I would've realized this before. Just the sound of her nails against the floor and the way she immediately comes to check me whenever I make a move makes me almost paralyzed with anxiety when I'm alone with her. I feel like I cannot relax and move around normally in my own home. I'm starting to feel this was a huge mistake in general and it's also causing anxiety for my SO and straining our relationship, although he is very supportive for now. Right after our old cat's passing we decided it's best to rehome the dog in this situation, since it's only super stressful for all parties and we already contacted the rescue group, but SO then changed his mind which of course was morally the right thing to do and the dog stayed. She is a rather calm and well behaved adult dog and none of this is her fault, she is just being a dog, but I seriously don't know how I can mentally deal with living with a dog. I've never had these feelings after adopting any of my cats. Is there anyone with similar experience of either having serious adoption regret & anxiety or getting a pet too soon after a loss, who maybe have "survived to the other side"? I'm afraid that I will become bitter and depressed if this goes on for years and it's only going to be a burden.. Also I'm afraid this will ruin my otherwise beautiful relationship with my SO, who already feels attached to the dog.