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Just had our elderly cat put to sleep,

Discussion in 'Cat Chat' started by brookshill, Apr 5, 2011.


  1. brookshill

    brookshill PetForums Newbie

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    Hi everyone, I appreciate this has probably been posted on here many times before but yesterday we had our 19 year old cat Stumpy put to sleep at home. My wife held her in the final moments and she slipped peacefully away. I cannot begin to describe how we all feel, and the worse thing is the feeling of did we do the right thing? She was unable to clean herself, she missed her tray when peeing, she frequently had bouts of severe constipation where she would strain to poo for hours on end, and often we would find her on her bed with bits of poo around her on her bedding and on her fur. So deep down we know it was the right thing and the right time, but why do I still feel like crap!
    After many vets visits we summised her life was never going to return to how she was before and made the decision ourselves to put her to sleep before she lost any more dignity by having to be prodded and poked even more. I guess all we're looking for is a little affirmation from a 3rd party that we have done the right thing and maybe help make the grieving a little easier!

    Love and best wishes to you all,

    Chris and Sammi x
     
  2. Jenny1966

    Jenny1966 PetForums VIP

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    So sorry for your loss, as hard as it was you did the right thing for your baby. As an owner I think you will always know the right time.

    RIP little one xx
     
  3. No consulation but 19 is a good age, that said it is always heartbreaking when we have to make such a decision. They always say that if you are close to your pet you will know when the time is right. I am sure you have done the right thing - which for anyone is an awful decision to make.

    RIP elderly cat

    And welcome to the forum to your wife and yourself - albeit under sad circumstances.
    DT
     
  4. BSH

    BSH PetForums Senior

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    Sorry to hear your news. It is never an easy decision to make, and never one you will feel 100% comfortable in making, even if you know it is the right decision deep down. It does get easier with time, but there is always a bit of hurt left behind. But as her family I am sure you know you did what was in her best interests.

     
  5. Ally-Kats

    Ally-Kats PetForums VIP

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    So sad but you did what was right for Stumpy. I guess we all beat ourselves up over whether we did the right thing. I had my 10 year old cat PTS sixteen years ago after he was rushed in as an emergency when he tore his diaphragm, when they opened him up they found tumours on his liver and so there really wasn't any option. We didn't have him woken up as we felt this a pointless exercise, I had said goodbye just in case as the poor boy was literally gasping for breath and we didn't know what was wrong. I still feel guilty I wasn't with him but we had two small children at the time and no-one to leave them with. I know he would have forgiven me but I still beat myself up over it. Stumpy would have known you were doing your best for her, no words can really help with how you are feeling right now but in time you will look back at the happy memories and know you did what you had to for the right reasons. Thinking of you all, RIP Stumpy.
     
  6. missye87

    missye87 PetForums VIP

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    I think this is the type of decision that having to make it yourself, you will struggle to feel like it was the right thing. I think the main thing is that you knew her the best, and as you knew she wouldn't be able to regain the life she once had (cats are very dignified animals) you made the right decision. Her quality of life would have probably gone further downhill, so you let her pass on in a place where she felt safe, secure, and with the family she loved around her.

    I can't help but shed a tear for you though, knowing that one day I will have to make that decision for my old man who has chronic renal insufficiency. It's not an easy decision to make, but the main thing to remember is that she had a long and lovely life with people that obviously loved her dearly.

    Have you got any nice pictures of her that you can print and put up? I would also keep her favorite toy.
    My thoughts are with you in this horrible time :(
     
  7. welshjet

    welshjet PetForums VIP

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    Poor you, its awful. I lost my beloved suki when she was nearly 22 its heartbreaking, wish i could say it gets easier but even now after 3 years i miss her so much even now i still cry, but she had a great life, it took the 3 years to say that i wanted another cat, we got jet drom the cpl, and i know that he will also have a fab life not wanting for nothing. Shes stil with me though and believe me no-one steps on her patch in the garden.

    Think of your fab time, love clare x
     
  8. Dally Banjo

    Dally Banjo PetForums VIP

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    So very, very sorry to hear about your beautiful Stumpy :( but well done for being brave & letting her go to the bridge Im sure she will be haveing fun chasing butterflys in the nice warm sunshine :) huge hugs to you both xxx
     
  9. shells

    shells PetForums VIP

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    big (((((hugs))))) to you and your wife. It takes a devoted pet owner/lover to be able to do what is best for the pet and not take the easy route and not make the choice, you have done what was in your cats best intrests no matter how hard that was/is i totaly agree with all above posts, i wish you all the best and treasure all your fab memories of your dear cat xx
     
  10. brookshill

    brookshill PetForums Newbie

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    Thanks for all your kind words, the poor old girl had just had enough I think. She was very wobbly on her paws when walking about, couldn't even jump onto the bed anymore and had lost so much weight in the past year, which seeing her everyday I don't think we noticed, but people who only saw her occassionally would remark how skinny she had become, even though she ate well (with her remaining teeth) she was just disappearing in front of us. I know how proud she was before all this happened with keeping herself clean, sometimes I would come in from work and stroke her and she would have a bath immediately (cheeky bugger!!) so seeing her sat in a state and not using her tray properly wasn't like her at all.
    We had a lovely last morning with her yesterday, she feasted on some cod and we gave her some whiskas treats and my wife gave her coat a good brush and we had a good cuddle with her, she kept her dignity all the way and never made a murmur while the vet was there. I think this is the way she would have wanted it as she hated the vets and in particular her carrying box!
     
  11. Jenny1966

    Jenny1966 PetForums VIP

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    You will treasure those moments for ever x

    This has made me quite tearful, I dread the day something happens to Molly ..... you and your wife have been so brave.
     
    #11 Jenny1966, Apr 5, 2011
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2011
  12. pearl_black

    pearl_black PetForums Newbie

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    Im really sorry for your loss, I know exactly how you feel! x
     
  13. koekemakranka

    koekemakranka PetForums VIP

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    So sorry for your loss. You did the right thing. She lived to a grand old age and was obviously a very fortunate kitty to be so well-loved and taken care of. She ended her days on earth in the arms of the people she loves and now she is in a place free of pain and discomfort.
     
  14. lymorelynn

    lymorelynn UN Peacekeeper in training
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    So sorry for the loss of your beautiful sounding cat. Your posts have brought tears to my eyes.
    RIP Stumpy. Run free over the Rainbow Bridge
     
  15. Gem16

    Gem16 PetForums VIP

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    Really sorry for your loss, it is always heartbreaking but the old cliche time's a healer is true. We had our 18yr old cat PTS last year and we also questioned are we doing the right thing, but deep down i think you just know don't you.
    After a while you can think back and look at happy times you all shared. When we 1st lost ours we couldn't mention her name without tears coming, but now we can laugh about silly things she used to do and i sincerely hope it is the same for you.
    RIP little one xx
     
  16. honeysmummy

    honeysmummy PetForums VIP

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    I am so sorry for your loss...you knew your baby better than anyone..it sounds like it was the kindest thing to do for your fur baby

    RIP....Sleep well xxx
     
  17. Shimacat

    Shimacat PetForums Member

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    It sounds as if the time was right for poor Stumpy, and you did the right thing. It always feels terrible, but you have to think of the cat's quality of life, and it sounds as if you got the timing just right. You did a lovely thing for Stumpy by getting the vet to visit you at home - no last trip to the vet, just being peaceful in her own home with her folks.

    It never feels like the right choice, even though you know deep-down that it was. You'll not forget her.
     
  18. Cazzer

    Cazzer PetForums VIP

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    sorry to hear about Stumpy
     
  19. Gratch

    Gratch PetForums VIP

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    I think the reason we tend to feel like this is because we wouldn't do that to a human. This isn't me saying you did the wrong thing, I feel you did the right thing. We get so attatched to our pets, treat them like family and humans, but when it gets to this point and you know they're suffering, we actually have the power to do whats best for them. Also with the peeing/pooing you would have probably have been getting frustrated aswell. A deep love for your pet doesn't mean you can't get frustrated and it isn't fair on them for you to be exasperated with them. She couldn't help it and neither could you. Your kitty is now free of any pain she was suffering and you let her go peacefully.
     
  20. Jocatza

    Jocatza PetForums Junior

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    So sorry, it's never an easy decision to make. We have had to do the same for 4 cats over the years and making that final call never gets any easier.

    Stumpy counted on you as her family to love and care for her, that included making the decision to let her go when the time was right. She loved you and trusted you and you never failed her.

    Remember the good times and treasure the memories. Stumpy is at peace.
     
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