I joined this forum looking for help. I'm in such a mess. My dog, my best friend, my soulmate, my life had to be put to sleep the weekend just gone and I'm in turmoil. Jake was my 9 ye old male Chihuahua. He had been neutered when he was 4. A few months ago I started noticing him taking longer to pee. It got progreasivpro worse until one evening I had to rush him to the emergency vets. They stuck a catheter in and drained him and explained they were concerned. I took him to the vets, we went through rounds of treatment and antiinflammatories. As the weeks went on it got worse again until I took him to the vets for a scan. They could see his prostate was massively enlarged and he had some large lymph nodes. I cling on to hope that it's not cancer and we tried a few other treatments On Friday last week he was howling in the garden and wandering around in so much discomfort. I rushed him to the vets who said they would transfer him to a specialist unit. I get a call the following day telling me to go in. I get there and they give me him for cuddles. There they explain that he has aggressive prostatic cancer and that there isn't anything they can do and that I need to consider letting him go. They were unable to get a catheter in because the urethra was completely blocked and they'd aspirated urine from him via a needle into his bladder. One vet said we could have debuilkng surgery to reduce the size of the tumour, but she said it was a high risk procedure with a 70 % chance of death as they also diagnosed him as having a heart murmur. They said the tumour would grow back very quickly and that the cancer had already spread. They said if I opted for surgery he'd be in a lot of pain and would be on a cocktail of drugs and that he wouldn't have much of a quality of life. He was put to sleep in my eyes Saturday night. Now I'm broken, thought about suicide. I'm in agony absolute agony to the point where I just don't want to have to live through it. Did I make the right decision? Why did he get such a rare form of cancer? What's even worse is he was neutered, so why did he get an aggressive prostate cancer? Why? Why is life this cruel. I'm in ruin, I just want my boy back.