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Today, I lost my best friend. Dennis was diagnosed with lymphoma in July. We tried chemo treatment, it didn't work. I couldn't bring myself to put him through more when the first lot failed and made him poorly, so we resorted to palliative care as of 4 weeks ago. He had some good times once the chemo stopped and last week was great, he was eating and playing (a bit) and was happy. Saturday was the last time he came to me for a cuddle, yesterday he took a big turn for the worst and this morning I found myself having to make the phone call to vet which I had been dreading. He was not really able to get up any more, his legs were so weak and he was just sat in the chair disinterested in anything. His purr continued to the end.
My heartache is unbelievable, the hurt just runs so deep, I so hope this gets better, at the moment, I can see only dark days ahead and I feel that I have let him down so badly, I have always kept him safe and away from harm, now I feel that I have just done something awful to him and right now, I am beating myself up about it. Does this pain ever stop?
Sorry for the long post, just needed to write down my feelings, it helps, but not a lot. :cryin::cryin::cryin:
 

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I am so so sorry and you haven't failed Dennis at all you helped him by stopping his pain and suffering, you gave him a fabulous life and loved him, you have nothing to feel guilty or bad for, the pain does ease eventually and you will be left with all the lovely memories of your beloved boy, run free Dennis.
 

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So sorry to hear this :(

You did the best you possibly could for him, he could not have carried on if he couldn't even get up and use the loo, etc, so there was no choice in the end. He may have been purring due to pain, cats will do this to try and alleviate pain. He would've been so grateful for your cuddles right to the end.

He is running free from pain now at RB, RIP Dennis xxx
 

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SO sorry to hear this. I lost my beloved Thomas to cancer last year :(

The pain does get easier with time, I still miss my boy dreadfully but know he's happy and pain free in the bridge.

What you did was what was necessary, and through love and compassion. I remember the guilt I felt on making the same decision even though I knew it was the right one.

Take time to grieve, our pets are family as much as humans are x
 

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I'm so sorry to hear that.
I hope you find comfort in the certainty that you loved him. And that for that reason you chose to alleviate his suffering and pain. I'm sure he's grateful and loved you for staying by his side until the end.
 

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Today, I lost my best friend. Dennis was diagnosed with lymphoma in July. We tried chemo treatment, it didn't work. I couldn't bring myself to put him through more when the first lot failed and made him poorly, so we resorted to palliative care as of 4 weeks ago. He had some good times once the chemo stopped and last week was great, he was eating and playing (a bit) and was happy. Saturday was the last time he came to me for a cuddle, yesterday he took a big turn for the worst and this morning I found myself having to make the phone call to vet which I had been dreading. He was not really able to get up any more, his legs were so weak and he was just sat in the chair disinterested in anything. His purr continued to the end.
My heartache is unbelievable, the hurt just runs so deep, I so hope this gets better, at the moment, I can see only dark days ahead and I feel that I have let him down so badly, I have always kept him safe and away from harm, now I feel that I have just done something awful to him and right now, I am beating myself up about it. Does this pain ever stop?
Sorry for the long post, just needed to write down my feelings, it helps, but not a lot. :cryin::cryin::cryin:
I am so very sorry :(

You are not alone, everyone here understands the pain you are gong through. It does get easier.

You have done nothing but help him out of his pain and suffering.

Run free Sweet boy xx
 

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So very sorry to read about Dennis,you did all you could to help him but sometimes it is just not possible.
You gave Dennis the gift of peace by releasing him from any further suffering, as painful as that was for you to do.
The pain will ease and the wonderful memories will replace all the sadness.
Run free at the bridge Dennis xx
 

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i am so sorry to read you have lost your beautiful cat Dennis.
nothing anybody says will at this time make you feel any better but it is good to talk and let the anger, grief and heartache out.
you will feel you have let him down, even though you have done everything possible, its just part of the greiving process.
it takes time to remember the wonderful memories you have although you never forget that special friend.

you gave him a lovely home with love and care and dennis loved you in return. in time you will feel better but for now please keep talking about him, his little habits, where he loved to sleep etc, this will all help you to feel better by sharing dennis.

rip dennis, playing with all the other angels at rainbow bridge xxxxx
 

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I am so sorry to hear the loss of Dennis.
You did all you could for him. He knew you were there for him.
Your crying will stop. It's all part of the grieving process.
Soon his memories of him will make you smile again and you will be able to talk about him without crying.
Letting him go peacefully was the kindest thing to do.
He is now at Rainbow Bridge.
I do believe that one day we will all meet up with our lost ones again.

R.I.P Dennis and have fun at Rainbow Bridge xx
 

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Please dont feel you need to apologise for a long post-sharing your pain with others who understand can take as many words as it needs.

We had to have our 15 ginger cat ,Dougal,P.T.S in May after a long struggle and still miss him every day.
The pain is still there but I know that I couldnt see him suffer any more-he is at peace now.

A year last January we lost our 15 yr old collie cross Lulu very suddenly-she died with her head on my knee.
I came on here like you desperate to have someone to tell and I received so much support.
As you said putting it into words helps-but doesnt take away the horrible mixture of emotions
I felt guilty that we hadnt taken her to the vet-we were going the following a.m.
-I felt I had let her down,
I felt anger and such an emptiness that I had never felt-not even when a family member had died.
I felt completely helpless and could not stop crying.

If you need someone to talk to-P.M me.

Sending you a BIG HUG and I know that my Lulu and Dougal will be welcoming Dennis at Rainbow Bridge-and that they all know how much we love and miss them
Maureen


Our other dog Buster has dementia and has gone downhill over the last few weeks-Im dreading having to say goodbye to him-when it happens it will be the first time in 42 yrs that our house has not had a dog in it -and that will be so difficult for us.
 

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I am so sorry for your loss and for the awful pain you are feeling. Sadly it is the final responsibility we have for our pets to prevent them from suffering. They can't say to us it is time, but it sounds as if Dennis was clear that he could not fight any longer and you stayed loyal to him despite your own devastation.

Dennis was a lucky cat to have you and I hope the pain doesn't last too long and that you are soon able to remember the good times.

My heart goes out to you. Please take the support offered by others who know what you are going through
 

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Denflo, I am so sorry to hear of your sad loss. You were being compassionate in letting him go when you did. It sounds as though the time was right, and that is always a hard thing to judge.

Thinking of you, with sympathy.
 

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So sorry to hear of your loss :( Most of us know how you feel and sympathise.
It does get better, you will smile again - but there will always be a little bit of your heart missing - the bit Dennis took with him when he left - so you will always be with him. You did good by him, take care xxx
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
All,

I can't thank you enough for your sympathy and words of support at what is such a sad and difficult time for me. Dennis was my best friend, he had been there for me through 13 years of ups and downs and now there is an undescribable emptiness and silence in his place. Flo looks for him at meal times as she expects him to come through the doorway and wait with her for breakfast and dinner. I have no regrets about decisions I made for him along the way and particularly through this last few tough months of his disease, but it doesn't stop me wishing he was back here with me. I 'look forward' with some angst to next Tuesday when I can bring him home again.
Thanks again for your helpful and supportive words and thoughts, it helps to know I can write my feelings and not be judged by those who are less fortunate than us and have never known the love between animal and human. For now, I wait for the tears to stop (or at least take a break of more than an hour) so that I may build a new 'normal' with happy memories.
 

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I am so sorry for your loss denflo :sad:

I lost my baby recently as well. The pain is awful but will get a little easier, it wont go but it'll get easier. I still cry for him but I know he's waiting for me at the bridge. I hope that Chichi welcomed Dennis and they're playing together!

You did everything you could and you did what was right.

Always here to chat x
 

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I only just saw this...
I am so sorry for your loss.

Try to remember Dennis had a wonderful life and leaves you so many precious memories, and you did the one thing you could still do for him, you released him from his failing body and set him free to live on in your heart forever.

The pain of losing such a dear friend can seem unbearable, but as long as he lives in your heart and in your memory, he hasn't really left you. It is alright to grieve, and indeed, it is impossible not to, but try to hold on to the joy of having known him and loved him.

Cats are very spiritual beings, and I am sure he is watching over you from the Rainbow Bridge.

The Rainbow Bridge
 

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Denflo-I'm ever so sorry but I've only just seen this. :(

I think lots of us here can identify with what you've experienced and with how you are feeling right now. Caring for kitties who are ill creates an extra special bond and losing them can be devastating. However, the pain does lessen with time.

I'm truly sorry for your loss.

RIP Dennis
 
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