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is Rehoming my dog the right thing?

Discussion in 'Dog Chat' started by Starstuff, Sep 11, 2019.


  1. Starstuff

    Starstuff PetForums Newbie

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    hello all,

    I would appreciate no judgment please. I am devastated and guilty enough.

    I have a 3 year old small mixed dog that my ex boyfriend adopted when he was a puppy. We broke up when the dog was 6 months old and I ended up keeping the dog because my ex didn’t want him.

    I knew my lifestyle was not set up for a dog, but I kept him because I love him so dearly. He is my whole world. However, as time goes on I am starting to see that he isn’t so happy. I know he loves me, and he is a great dog. He goes into the kitchen every day when it’s time for me to go to work without complaint. He never messes up the house when I am gone for nearly the whole day on the weekends due to commitments. I have someone come and walk him, but he is alone most of the time.

    He is a very social dog and I feel terribly for him. When I go away, I have someone who watches him for me. This man has 3 dogs who my dog gets along with. He also adores the man and his wife. I am thinking of asking him to keep him. I can’t even type this without tears in my eyes, but I feel it is the right thing to do. I love him so much, but I feel like I am being selfish by keeping him alone all the time when he could be in a home with 3 other dogs and where someone is home most of the day.

    Will he be devastated if I rehome him? We have a really strong bond and I’m worried about him being depressed and thinking I abandoned him or don’t love him.

    Please if anyone could share their experiences I would greatly appreciate it. This is such a difficult decision

    Thank you
     
  2. kimthecat

    kimthecat PetForums VIP

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    Are you really sure your dog is unhappy ? There are lots of dogs who's owners work and have a dog walker come in the day .
    Dogs sleep a lot too , if you are home in the evenings and he has walks , he might prefer to stay with you .

    You could set up a camera to see what he does in the day .
     
  3. Starstuff

    Starstuff PetForums Newbie

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    I do have a camera and he is good and mostly sleeps. If I was home on the weekends I think it would be different. But I am usually away on the weekends too and that’s why I really feel guilty. Basically the only time I’m home is a few hours in the evening and at night on the weekends. Otherwise he is with the dog sitter or I have my mom come to walk him (which is also getting to be an issue because she has back issues and I can’t really afford to hire someone to do it).

    I just feel like if I were him - I might prefer to be in a home with 3 other dogs and where someone is most of the day. I don’t know what the right thing to do is. I feel broken honestly. I just want to do what’s best for him
     
  4. Charity

    Charity Endangered Species

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    I understand how you must be feeling and, under the circumstances, as you aren't around the whole week, as a young dog, I think he needs more company and stimulation. Why don't you put some feelers out to your friend before you decide just to see if he would like to take your dog, no guarantees are there? If he says yes, then surely that would be the best thing as you would have peace of mind he is with someone most of the time and someone you know and trust and you would still be able to see him from time to time.
     
    lorilu, Amanda Mower and kimthecat like this.
  5. kimthecat

    kimthecat PetForums VIP

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    I don't know what to say . If your dog was showing distress then I would say rehome . There's no rush to make a decisison.
     
    Amanda Mower and Calvine like this.
  6. Calvine

    Calvine PetForums VIP

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    @Starstuff: There are groups like ''Borrow my doggie'' where people who cannot commit to a full-time pet actually share someone's dog. Many years ago when I had my own dogs I used to meet a dog-walker who was, in fact, the only person I ever saw with the two Spaniel sisters that she walked. After a couple of years she informed me, oh no, not mine, but mum and dad have such demanding jobs they were delighted when I said I could walk them most days. I never saw those dogs with anyone else and they adored her (and she them). I see another elderly guy walking a little JRT bitch, he's everywhere with her, bus, tube, pub, you name it. Then just once I saw the dog with a lady, and when I mentioned it to the usual walker, he said, oh yes, that would be her owner. In three years I only saw the little dog with anyone other than the guy (and he clearly adores her). As @kimthecat says, there's no hurry, and no-one here will judge you for any decision you make. If your dog were distressed, I imagine he would likely be howling or damaging the place.
     
    #6 Calvine, Sep 11, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2019
    LinznMilly and kimthecat like this.
  7. catz4m8z

    catz4m8z PetForums VIP

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    Would it be possible for your dog to spend more time with the person with 3 dogs? Would they be willing to look after him on weekend days so he gets some company and stimulation?
    I agree with others though..no need to rush any decisions and as he doesnt appear upset by his lifestyle maybe look into options for him for when you are out first.
     
    LinznMilly and kimthecat like this.
  8. Blitz

    Blitz PetForums VIP

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    Would your friend with the 3 dogs actually want a fourth. Or would he be prepared to take him during the day and you have him when you get home from work. You could try that for a while and if it gradually turns out that the dog is happier in his second home and not bothered about coming back to you then you could discuss leaving him there full time.
     
    lorilu likes this.
  9. OwnedByTerrierists

    OwnedByTerrierists PetForums Junior

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    Well done you for putting your dog first. It doesn't sound as if he has a bad life and there may be a way around completely rehoming as others have suggested. However just wanted to share my experience in case it helps. I had to rehome my dog 3 weeks ago, she started fighting with my other dog after 18 months together. She was a rescue and I felt so awful as she had developed a really close bond with me. I was worried she would think I had abandoned her and wouldn't settle. However she never really looked back and I get regular pictures and videos of her happily playing, I still miss her loads but know I had to do the right thing by her and my other dog. Your situation is different and it's a difficult one but do be reassured if you do decide to rehome your dog he will settle and be happy especially if he knows his new family already.
     
    Charity, Boxer123 and Magyarmum like this.
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