I've known my friend since we were both toddlers, but she seems to be making less and less effort in our friendship. She does suffer with depression, is on anti-depressants, so I can appreciate her lack of motivation but it's becoming frustrating. She also has problems with her feet, so she can't be on her feet all day. I work 12hr shifts, night & days. Christmas and New Year, as well as Easter etc is just an ordinary working week for me, I work as many hours as any other week. I also work full-time. She works part-time. She lives in my home town, 60 miles away, so I'm not exactly next door. Over the years, she's had ups and downs, and I've always been there for her. She's had problems in relationships, and I have always been the shoulder to cry on. There has been times when she's had little money. I've always been happy to "lend" her money, and never asked or expected it back, it's only been £30 or £50 here or there. I'm not rich, I'm on an average income, but I do earn more than her. Not a problem. She was recently off sick with her feet and depression, but her partner was working full-time and is earning a good wage. He said he can earn a "grand a week", which is vastly more than I earn. I absolutely do no resent that, in fact I am pleased for her. But little things annoy me. Every single year, I always request the weekend off around her birthday, and ask her what she fancies doing for her birthday. It's usually "dunno". She hardly asks me what I'm doing for my birthday, and some years has been doing something else. Don't get me wrong, I don't expect her to put anything on hold for me, but this year, I had organised a night out and told her about it a month before. She said she was free, but then "forgot", and made other plans she couldn't get out of. A couple of months ago, she messaged me to say she was broke, and could I lend her money. I lent her £50, and she said she didn't want any more than that, otherwise she "wouldn't have been able to pay me back in one go." I said fine. She didn't pay me back. I didn't really mind........but then a couple of weeks after I gave her the money, she went and got a tattoo. Again, it's not the getting of the tattoo, it's that she said she was broke, and she said she would pay me back. She has had two weeks off over Xmas, always does have, but I am the one who visits her. I arranged this for the 29th this year, which we arranged several weeks ago. I checked with her the night before - and it's a good job I did, as her father in law was ill, and she was busy. Again, I don't have issue, as her priority is her family, but she didn't let me know. Would she have told me if I hadn't checked? She managed to fit us in for a hour when I said I was staying at a certain hotel, and if she found time, she could pop into the bar there. I feel like I am sounding petty, as her FIL being ill was more of a priority, but it's just another thing. When we met, I gave her her Xmas present. She said, "Oh, I'm not doing presents this year". She'd not said a word about this previously. We buy each other gifts every year (although she sometimes does "forget" me). I don't give to receive, but again, it's just another thing. She didn't get me a birthday present, either. She said she was back at work now, but part-time and I said, "That's good, that'll be better for your health, just a bit sh!tty money-wise, though." She said, quite brightly, "No, we're fine!" She's also just got another tattoo. She can obviously spend her money on what she likes. (In fact, I'm getting a tattoo myself in a week or so). This does sound like it's all about material things and money, but it's not. I'm not money-motivated or particularly materialistic. If there is a concert on, and I want to go, and I think she might like it, I let her know about it. But I often find out she's been somewhere afterwards (say to a concert) that I would have been interested in, but she didn't tell me about it. The way I write this, it sounds like I'm selfish and needy, and I want to do everything with her, but this is not the case. But I feel she's making less and less effort. She perhaps visits me once or twice a year (as I say, we live 60 miles apart), but I am there every month or so. I ask her if she fancies a night out here where I live, and she always has an excuse - usually that she's broke, or is busy or doesn't have the time. I used to understand this, but now it's getting tedious. If I don't message her for a couple of weeks, she doesn't message me. I know it sounds like I should have a talk with her, and I sometimes "joke" about it, and say, "You ought to come to see me" or joke, "Oh, I would have liked to have seen that/them. You'll have to let me know next time." We have a laugh when we're together, and get on really well, otherwise. We do love each other, like sisters, but I'm just fed up of her selfishness.