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If you make a promise do you keep it! Or do you use the word promise willynilly?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Victoria311617, Dec 5, 2007.


  1. Victoria311617

    Victoria311617 PetForums Junior

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    Last year my husband and i decided to have another baby and this year i gave birth to a beautiful baby girl Layla who is now 8 months old. Whilst talking about the possibility of having another baby we agreed to certain things so that our family would be secure.

    Amoung these descisions it was agreed that i would be going back to uni in september 2008 (since i want a career) when my son starts proper school full time and a friend of ours would have my little girl. Everything in order or so i thought! Suddenly issues arose around november last year when my grandfather past which threatened the promises made but once reminded they very quickly went away.
    However we are again at that time of year where he is starting to question it all again and what im wondering is for the sake of my family do i make him stick to his side of the bargain as i have stuck to mine or do i let him get on with it?

    I have to add the descisions he is making affect us all and are very selfish as they only benefit him! where as the alternative benefits everyone! Kind of not the subjects you usually deal with but thought maybe someone might be able to help!:(
     
  2. Lost Bird

    Lost Bird PetForums Member

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    Is he questioning whether to have another child or whether you do what your wanting to do and go back to uni? :confused:
     
  3. Magik

    Magik Guest

    I think you should follow what you want to do!! Your hub should stick to his side of the bargain but it's difficult being a soldier... if he wants to quit let him!!

    I think you both need to sit down and talk it through... dont let communication break down or your doomed!!
     
  4. bullyb

    bullyb PetForums VIP

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    i will only promise if i know i can fulfill. i have kids and would never make a promise i couldnt keep.... thats why i hate politicians!!
     
  5. Debbie

    Debbie PetForums VIP

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    I dont break a promise either - but in your case it really needs to be discussed again and see where you all stand and do whats best for you all.......Good luck hun :)
     
  6. Victoria311617

    Victoria311617 PetForums Junior

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    No hes questioning whether or not he should be sticking to his side of the bargain mine was to have another child since i never really wanted children but obviously would never be without them now and then to return to uni and do a degree in nursing so that once i was qualified we would have another decent wage coming in and he could leave the army 4 year thats all im asking for! his side of it was to stay in the army and to support me and my kids until i was qualified so we wouldnt have to worry! Ive given up the last 7 and a half years for the man i love surely he can give me 4 its not forever is it really! If he doesnt i wont be able to go to uni which is all arranged and course booked and everything!:mad:
     
  7. bullyb

    bullyb PetForums VIP

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    dont want to get to personal but i think if you love him its worth fighting for honey....:confused: go with your heart, your head can sometimes be too serious....
     
  8. Victoria311617

    Victoria311617 PetForums Junior

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    Mt course is booked and everything is in place since we knew what was going on however if he gets his way we will not be anywhere near the uni i need to go to and i will have no trust worthy child care i will not just leave them with anyone. So no is the answer to yor question which is why it was arranged this way. The reason he has changed his mind is because his mother has been drumming it down his throat for the last 2 months and as far as shes concerned i ill deal with it because i dont matter!
     
  9. bullyb

    bullyb PetForums VIP

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    i feel for you honey.... think about things and dont make any rash decisions, by the sounds of things the communication in your relationship has already gone..:(
     
  10. Victoria311617

    Victoria311617 PetForums Junior

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    There has been since day one and its always been his mother which has been swiftly nipped in the bud and he does put us above her and i have no other concerns about my relationship asides this issue. The only reason it come up though is because she has to keep putting in her 2 cents worth with everything. His dad thinks he should stay in he thinks hes being a fool throwing away a good carear and safety for his familyand i agree.
     
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