Hi. I'm a 15 year old who asked for a dog for their birthday, under one circumstance: It would have to be my responsibility. I said "sure, it'll be fine!" and delved deep into the internet, reading as much as I possibly could. I ended up finding a- wait for it- Siberian husky. Not only that, but he was a puppy. I fell in love, and immediately began preparing the home with basics. I had no idea just how much I would need to sacrifice. For one, I have autism, ADHD, depression and anxiety. I was used to horrendous sleep patterns (But still sleeping 12+ hours) and practically all the freedom in the world except the confines of my own mind. I dropped out of school in November 2016, however retain above average test results. When I brought this pup home, now named 'Scout,' I entirely focused on him. Potty break every 30-40 minutes, which he now signals when he needs, learning 'go pee/do your business,' has got sit, stay, and is learning 'lie down.' Seems great, right? Well... Not entirely. He has no interest in any toy for more than 30 seconds, only fattening treats which I try to save. I do not know how to burn off his excess energy- we run outside in the garden, train for 5 minutes, but there's no way to keep his attention on any toy or things like that. He's being taught not to bite or jump, however it's still sharp and I find it extremely difficult to control emotional impulses, so I feel there's a big danger in snapping when I don't mean to. I know that wouldn't help in the slightest. He will not poo outside or near me, which is really concerning as I try my best to be kind, patient, and understanding, rewarding when he used to poop outside. He cannot stand the crate being closed, even when I encourage him in, play games and feed in there, it has to be open. He won't sleep in it. He's completely relaxed sleeping on the floor in the bedroom where he's kept, however! He doesn't have any accidents in the bedroom unless he's forced by full bladder, which I'm so, so proud of him for. My parent has said that I must spend at least 6 months with him, which I am more than willing to do- ! But I worry. I throw up from the anxiety over him at night. I've barely had him a week, and everyone says it gets better, but a decade of responsibility is terrifying and I regret my decision. I feel it would be better for Scout and I if we rehomed him, but I'm scared of my family not letting me/everyone being angry, even if they have every right to be. I'm too scared of people being angry to tell anyone. I wasn't ready. Even if I can stay on top of things, there's no sense of achievement or love. Even if I manage him all throughout his life, the exhaustion and fatigue would wreck me. I'm so tired I don't even notice when someone is talking to me. I'm so anxious I sometimes think it would be better to kill myself than put everyone through this stress (Even though I KNOW that will not help and these are not true feelings.) All my muscles hurt, my brain hurts, I miss my freedom to draw and be with my cats, and I don't know whether I'm able to give it up. It's selfish, yes. But if it's more responsible and kind to rehome him, that's the way to go. Whatever is best to ensure Scout's safety and happiness. Perhaps I'm overthinking massively. It's only been a week. If I still hold these feelings months from now, I'll tell everyone. I'm just so scared and impatient and guilty. If I post this, please, I already know it was a stupid, naive, shallow decision to get him. I don't need reminders of that. Just. Whatever's better for the pup. Maybd reassurance. I don't know anymore.