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I should be happy

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Mese, Nov 15, 2012.


  1. Mese

    Mese PetForums VIP

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    Steve moved out on the 9th just so I can get some money from the ESA , today I get a letter from them that they will start giving me some money ,
    I've waited two years for them to agree to give me something so I should be happy , right !
    So why have I been crying since opening it

    To get this money I have lost the only person I see on a daily basis , even if it was only for 5 minutes sometimes cos he was so tired from work , it was still human contact , something I could spend all day looking forward to
    Now i'll be lucky to see anyone or speak to anyone once a week , and thats if he isnt too tired to come round or isnt away

    Then theres the aspect of all the outside stuff , shopping , even getting the bins in , theres no-one to do that , I cant expect him to when he lives so far away now

    I truly feel alone now
     
    #1 Mese, Nov 15, 2012
    Last edited: Nov 15, 2012
  2. welshjet

    welshjet PetForums VIP

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    Thats a sad post xxx

    I know we are all 'cyber' but remember you've got us you can chops to xxx
     
  3. ozrex

    ozrex PetForums VIP

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    That's terrible Mese.

    Can you manage to get out at all? Have you any friends that you want to have visit?

    Completely agree with Welshjet, you DO have us to talk to. In fact try shutting some of us up! WHO ME?????? :yikes:

    Hope you feel a bit happier soon.
     
  4. Mese

    Mese PetForums VIP

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    I only have one friend but im starting to resent her

    My Dad has started taking her out , treating her to pressies , just like she's his Daughter ... I havent seen him in two years and his excuse is that because of my sociophobia I wouldnt go out anyway (he lives 8 miles away from me and has a car so he could visit , I guess im not worth it)
    He is taking my friend out for her birthday on saturday for a meal along with his girlfriend .... guess what I got for my birthday , a phone call lasting three minutes

    My friend knows how I feel but doesnt care , or isnt showing she does

    As for getting out , the furthest ive gone in the last five years (bar the tribunal for the dole) is to the field with the dogs (its a minutes walk from my house) , and only then when I know no-one else will be on it
     
  5. cheekyscrip

    cheekyscrip Pitchfork blaster

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    hugs...so unfair....!!!!
     
  6. CavalierOwner

    CavalierOwner PetForums VIP

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    How awful! :(

    I'm always here for a chat, I know it's not the same as having a friend you can see in person though. Your friend should be cheering you up, not going out for meals with your family!

    Big ((Hugs))
    xx
     
  7. Miss.PuddyCat

    Miss.PuddyCat PetForums VIP

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    Anyways Mese I know I cant understand how you feel but being a bit of a recluse myself I understand how lonely it can be :( Best wishes.
     
    #7 Miss.PuddyCat, Nov 15, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 16, 2012
  8. kate_7590

    kate_7590 PetForums VIP

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    Sorry if you've already answered these but I cant remember reading anything about it-

    Do you go out shopping? Could you meet friends and just go shopping? That way you'll see people?
    Im guessing you take the dogs out daily? Could you find someone to walk with daily?
     
  9. Lavenderb

    Lavenderb PetForums VIP

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    Mese ,I'm sorry you feel so alone but I do understand it too. When you have something wrong either mentally or physically that means you can't socialise in the ways other people do, you can often get left behind while the world keeps moving.
    My family know I have a disability but they still don't offer any help with anything.
    You have always got friends here to talk to even if we can't help you physically. xx
     
  10. Shazach

    Shazach PetForums VIP

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    Mese, Hugs hon. In sorry it's had to be this way and you're left feeling alone. Give those pups a big big hug, and remember we're here whenever you want a chat.

    Shxx
     
    #10 Shazach, Nov 15, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 16, 2012
  11. PetloverJo

    PetloverJo PetForums VIP

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    Mese sorry to hear you are feeling more isolated than you already were.

    There is always someone on here to talk. Feel free to PM me.

    Big hugs to you hun. xxx
     
    #11 PetloverJo, Nov 15, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 16, 2012
  12. Grace_Lily

    Grace_Lily PetForums VIP

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    So sorry to hear you are in this situation Mese. As others have said, we're always here if you need a chat or someone to vent to but of course it isn't the same as real company in person. It's disgusting that you've been put in this situation.
     
  13. DKDREAM

    DKDREAM PetForums VIP

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    im sorry mese, I dont know your situation but wanted to say I am sorry Steve moved out. ((Hugs))
     
    canuckjill likes this.
  14. CRL

    CRL Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!

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    Why would they not give you the money while your boyfriend was there?
    Is there not anybody locally who you can take too? Anyone you are friends with. or even another member on here? That might help.
     
    #14 CRL, Nov 15, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 16, 2012
  15. Mese

    Mese PetForums VIP

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    Thanks for the support guys :)

    I dont go out at all unless its to the field with the dogs , im sociophobic and ive pretty much worked out when there wont be anyone on there by now so its rare I meet anyone , if it turned into a scare where I knew id have to see people every time I dont know what id do

    Im terrified of people hun , have been for over 14 years now , CBT and therapy etc havent helped a jot :(

    Steve is my ex-bf , I didnt try claiming any money while we were together , but once we split up (but remained friends) I put in a claim , but they insisted we were still together cos we shared the house and wouldnt give me anything , so he left even though he owns the house , just so I can get some money
    trouble is (for me) he moved closer to work so his travel time/expenses would be less and he could get more sleep . obviously im pleased for him , im always worried he doesnt sleep enough , but cos of the distance he cant help like he used to (and I wouldnt dream of asking him to) so its a worry


    As for friends I only have one left after all the years of being too scared to go out , and im starting to resent her (as explained in an earlier post on this thread :()
     
    #15 Mese, Nov 16, 2012
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2012
  16. chichi

    chichi Banned

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    I really feel for you. I have a close family member with social phobia and I know it is very depressing and isolating. She has been this way for two years. CBT hasnt helped her either.

    I hope things look up for you soon. You deserve a break. Take care x
     
  17. Sussexplumber

    Sussexplumber Banned

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    Ok heres my advice. If you want a friend, go and be a friend. Also try taking up jogging/running. You`ll feel better mentally and physically. Is there a gym near you? The Gym Group costs just £17 a month with unlimited access. Do you have one near you? Also try taking one vitamin B Complex each day for a bit of buzz!
     
    #17 Sussexplumber, Nov 16, 2012
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2012
  18. MoggyBaby

    MoggyBaby PetForums VIP

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    Wow Mese!!!!!! 14yrs of cr@p and suddenly, in one fell swoop, your problem has been solved by someone who hasn't got a clue!!!!! :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

    Really sorry to read of the change in your situation. I wish I lived closer to be able to help you although meeting me would probably worsen your condition!!! :laugh: :laugh:

    Sending you big hugs and you know we are always here for you in the big cyber world.

    xxx
     
  19. ozrex

    ozrex PetForums VIP

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    Golly Mese, that s*cks.

    Can you stand telephone calls? You said your Dad rang for three minutes. Can you make 'em or answer them? How are you with letters/emails?

    I really, really wish I could help. I'm not sure how much contact you can stand or want. I imagine it varies with how you feel on the day.

    Would you like more human contact? What sort could you enjoy? could I help?

    If that's too many questions tell me. I'm not offended. There's no other way to know but to ask. Bear in mind I'm a good 12,000 miles away so no threat :p
     
  20. Mese

    Mese PetForums VIP

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    I know how to be a friend thank-you very much , I had loads before this illness hit me , but one by one they drifted away , I guess its difficult to stay friends with someone who cant go outside
    How can I go to a gym when I cant be near people ?
    As for exercise I get plenty with walking three border collies 3 times a day

    Its hard to make new friends when you get physical and mental stress from being near people , I get literally terrified even at the thought of being near anyone ... I dont leave the house because I get physically sick and when theres no choice (like when I had to go to the tribunal) for weeks/days before I have to go the stress levels reach stupid proportions and I end up self harming , my left forearm is just basically scar over scar over scar ... but the doctors arent worried as they see it as a coping mechanism and not a suicide risk or cry for help

    Im not after sympathy , I dont need or want it , I was just venting my frustration here at what I saw as a no win situation for me and didnt want to bottle it up inside
     
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