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I need some help and advice.... (personal)

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by shezzy, Aug 4, 2009.


  1. shezzy

    shezzy PetForums Senior

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    I've been living with my partner for two years now. But on sat night we broke up and im moving out tonight. (back to mums how sad)
    .... I'm really not too keen too be speaking about this so publicly but i need some advice and someone to talk to regarding my animals.

    Ive always found it easier to speak to people i dont know, I dont know why lol. Im a bit upset because all my so called "friends" know we've split up and only one of them asked how i was doing :(

    Anyway not trying to create a depressing topic but just needed someone to speak to and i know your all so nice on here. :) Figured someone would be able to help.
    Sorry again for the crappy topic lol :p:p
     
  2. Dylan & Daisy

    Dylan & Daisy PetForums VIP

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    Sorry your having a difficult time :( Sometimes its easier to talk to strangers than those close to you.

    Maybe your friends just dont know what to say or are afraid of upsetting you more by speaking to you about it.


    You taking your pets back with you to your mam's?
     
  3. brackensmom

    brackensmom PetForums VIP

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    hi, sorry about the break up, it is times like this you really realise who your true friends are. thinking of you.
     
  4. Inca's Mum

    Inca's Mum PetForums VIP

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    Sorry to hear about your break up with OH, thinking of you, must be difficult x
     
  5. shezzy

    shezzy PetForums Senior

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    Thats what im struggling with. At least here i had to time, money and space to keep them all. I mean I have a ferret, rabbit, beardie, kitten, 5 gerbils, a hamster and two mice. I just dont thik they're will be room at my mums. I think i can get away with keeping the kitten (defo, im NOT getting rid of her, no way shes my baby) and the ferret because i just got him and the rabbit can stay out side which should be a problem. Ive got two old gerbils have had for about 3-4 years so i defo wont be rehomeing them. I love my beardie but i have no idea where i will put him, and i duno how im gonna find space for everything. Here i have a whole flat but there... i have a bedroom...

    I duno what im gonna do, i love all my animals. i cant bear to think of rehoming any of them... and if i were too where would i??? I mean im not just gonna give them away to just anyone.
     
  6. shezzy

    shezzy PetForums Senior

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    Thanks :)

    Yeah i know its only been 3 days but i would have thought more than one would have asked how im doing. maybe im just getting too annoyed because im stressed with everything else going on.
     
  7. rottiesloveragdolls

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    It isnt nice when theres a split in a relationship :( as the animals suffer as much as children do :( like others have said it could be your friends just dont know what to say in fear of upsetting you more than you are already :(
    but seems you have 1 very good friend who did ask you how you were, maybe you could talk more to them?
    I do hope you get yourself sorted out and the animals you have also! Keep ya chin up ;) x
     
  8. Nonnie

    Nonnie PetForums VIP

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    Will your mum not allow you to house them in other rooms of the house?
     
  9. owieprone

    owieprone PetForums VIP

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    do you HAVE to move out, was it an amicable split? is it a two bed place you could move in to the other room? could you stay there on your own and he move out? Could he look after a few of them till you find a new place?

    nothing wrong with moving back to your mums btw.. i've done it and it was nice tbh, she even put up with my rats using the kitchen floor and table as a play area :D
     
  10. SeaThreePeeO

    SeaThreePeeO PetForums VIP

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    I so sorry about your break up!

    Do you have friends you can ask to 'foster' some of your pets until your in the position to take them back?
     
  11. sandymaynard

    sandymaynard PetForums Senior

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    Hi Shezzy
    It is usual easier to speak to strangers than to speak to family!
    Okay firstly do you have pet's if so will mum allow you to take them home with you!
    second it is normal to feel like crap after a relationship ends! That is normal!
    Even being depressed is normal!
    I feel for you it must be hard after 2 years! It is a long time for something to end!
    somtimes friends feel stuck in the middle and unable to say what they want to say!
    If your mum can't keep the animals is there any friends that could you out for a while! This is going to be difficult it is a end to one stage of your life and start of a new bit!
    I feel for you!
    Sandy
     
  12. shezzy

    shezzy PetForums Senior

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    I would but shes having a tough time herself. None of my friends would be concerned about my animals as they just dont understand. They would just say "oh just get rid of them" "its just a gerbil and hamster"

    My mums house aint the biggest... she might let me keep the gerbils in her study though... none of them would get in her bedroom :p she doesnt like them very much lol :p

    And maybe i could try and get Troy (the beardie) in the dining room...
    Once i think about it i think the kittens gonna suffer. She wouldnt get to explore the house because i wouldnt trust my mum not the leave the door or windows open untill i get Kira spayed. Ahhhh why cant i just stay here :( lol

    Hmm i think ive got some begging to do haha :p
     
  13. SeaThreePeeO

    SeaThreePeeO PetForums VIP

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    If you lived nearer I would offer to help you look after some of your animals. Do you know any pet froum members near you that may be able to help?
     
  14. shezzy

    shezzy PetForums Senior

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    owieprone,
    Yes i have too, we dont hate each other or anything i mean we can still be civial and speak and prob will keep speaking. buuut 1) it would be way to hard for me to stay here (you know with feeling in the way lol) and 2) its a one bedroom flat -_- Yeah i guess it wouldnt be all bad moving back lol :p

    SeaTheePeeO,
    I know a firend that may probably foster my beardie for me... whether she'd allow me to take him back or not is a diff story haha :p (she loves him) and I dont really know anyone on here :p

    Sandymaynard,
    Yes it is alot easier. Ive always felt more comfortable speaking to strangers, i really dont know why lol :p
    Like i said before i know someone that would take my beardie. I guess i could get my sis to take my rabbit and ferret untill i get the hutches sorted out... I'll have enough room in my room to keep my mice and two boys and can ask my mum if the girl gerbils can be kept in the study (ask very nicely) i can prob keep the hamster in the bedroom too... and ill keep kira in my bedroom unless my mum isnt in then i can let her wander the house untill my mum does come in... hmmm it may work... it may work... lol Im not too sad right now because im concerned about my pets, but i think once i get to my mums then i think it'll hit.

    Now i just need to figure oout how to move all the big cages lol :p
     
  15. BigBearsRule

    BigBearsRule PetForums Senior

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    Now i just need to figure oout how to move all the big cages lol :p
    Im sorry to hear of your bust up, and strangers are better than friends - you never need to see our faces or talk to us about things again. Much better than the knowing looks.
    Do you have anyone who can drive you and your cages back home? Or could you not ask your ex to let you move you babies out a couple at a time, to make transportation easier?
    I hope you manage to work it all out. And take heart tomorrow is another day and somewhere out there is a bright shiny future for you and your little ones.
     
  16. shezzy

    shezzy PetForums Senior

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    He wont mind if i take them a couple at a time.
    The thing is he mad me a double hutch for my rabbit so it doesnt come appart. The ferrets double hutch i think can be taken down. (bought that one from a pet shop) Maybe i should just let my sister keep Lilly... (the rabbit) i dnt have enough money to buy a new hutch and im gonna have to start saving up for a flat and a car and stuff..
    Bleh this is all messed up.
     
  17. MySugar

    MySugar PetForums Senior

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    I can totaly relate to your feeling of things being messed up! I wish I had some advice to offer but I think it sounds as though you are making some headway with what to do with all your pets. So sorry for you that you are going through it and I hope when you get to your Mum's you can grieve your relationship then move on by concentrating on yourself and getting your flat and car :)

    If you want another stranger to talk to feel free to PM me. My relationship has broken down after 4 years so I can relate :(

    Take care of yourself and all the best for getting things sorted x
     
  18. rottiesloveragdolls

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    Is there no chance for a reconciliation between you and your partner??
     
  19. shezzy

    shezzy PetForums Senior

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    Oh no 4 years? :(:(:(
    I know i feel awful after two, so sorry about your relationship ((hugg))

    Yeah i think its just because im a bit stressed, and when i get stressed i panic and i think i just needed some reassurance. I think everythings gonna be okay, if worst came to worst im sure the nice people on here would help me suitably rehome some of my babies (figers crossed it doesnt come to that)
     
  20. shezzy

    shezzy PetForums Senior

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    While ive been talking on here he's actually been texting me, asking if we both think this is the right decision. I dont know where its came from because sunday we never talked, and yesterday we talked a wee bit but we kinda hung out and watched a movie and came to the decision we can still be friends.

    I think hes kinda... regretting the split. For him to text me and ask that, I told him i think its better to end it on the best terms rather than have a bigger argument some where down the line and you know, hate each other. Now im just megga confused but he never text back what he was thinking or anything.
    I think when you break up with someone you think off all the good times (does that make sence) and you block out all the bad stuff and that makes you wanna be back with the person... but once your back together the bad stuff just keeps happening again because you never took that into consideration in the first place.
    I duno if any of that made sence. Think im just trying to convince myself hahah :p
     
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