I don’t know where to start. I wish I had thought of a site like this recently as I think it would’ve been more helpful than my vets. One of my cats had a “ polyp” diagnosed 3 years ago on her larynx. This didn’t cause a problem for 3 years until noisy breathing and not eating. We went to our vets and I asked if it was a specialist job to remove it. The vet said we could go to a specialist but she was confident to remove it. So, my vet went ahead. My cat has excessive mucous n her throat straight after the op and they had problems clearing the breathing tube, but it eventually settled after a high dose of steroid and the breathing tube removed. as my vets wasn’t manned at night they sent her home the following day for me to tube feed. I felt this was too soon but they said not. She recovered brilliantly apart from clearing her throat a bit, but my vet said that was something she may always have now. After 8 weeks she suddenly had a gurgle sounding breathing and breathing wasn’t as easy. This was during lockdown and when I rang the emergency vet I was told it wasn’t urgent enough but they would put steroids in safe box for me to collect that evening. So I took her to the vets the following day where I was told it was mucous in her throat, carry on with steroids and give her Bisolvon powder. Seemed to work at first until I asked how long I should give powder for a few days later and asked about steroids and they told me to cut down on steroids and powder. The breathing got worse again. Called vets and was told to go to 1 steroid again. Things didn’t improve so we went back to vets again to be told there was swelling in her neck so either try to feed her liquid food if she was able to take it and unfortunately put her to sleep when ready or get referred to specialist. I chose the latter. However, after requesting a specialist local to me as I have 2 young children in tow also, with the current situation. They got me in at a vets an hour away. I suggested a local specialist and they said they couldn’t get me in soon. I rang them myself and they said they hadn’t had any communication from my vets and could’ve got us in, though they didn’t have a manned site so would have to decline in case of breathing difficulties if anaesthetic or an operation was needed. They suggested another local specialist. I asked if my vets could refer us...the lady on the reception said no. I rang said specialist and they suggested I contact another local vets and ask if they could refer us. I did and they could. Went back to my vets to tell them and they were cross, said they could refer me now and told he not to contact anyone and just Leave it to them. Got referred and got an app for a couple of hours later. I had been really very anxious over the couple of weeks of the breathing/eating difficulties and the lack of continuity from my vets so after the couple of days of trying to get a local specialist , I broke down with high anxiety. My other half was totally against going to a specialist as he thought it would have to involve another operation for her and he said that wasn’t fair. So I felt I had no support and I am ashamed to say I crumbled and cancelled the prevcious app I had worked so hard for. I followed my other half’s opinion of getting my beautiful lady put to sleep instead. I was scared in case things weren’t good at the specialist and I made things worse and she suffered. But straight after we had put her to sleep I have badly regretted it. I’m not sure how to move forward with this at all. I know if I was reading this I would be wondering why on earth the person didn’t go to the specialist. I can’t believe what I have done. They may have been able to help, they may not. But I will never know now. Very hard to live with. Although my cat was having trouble breathing and not really eating, she was still pottering about inside and out with me and still as loving as ever. It has broken my heart and I regret it all enormously. I also regret not taking her to a specialist for the operation in the first place as really she should have had a ct scan and biopsy beforehand, I’ve found out since. I know you will all hate the sound of what has happened here, but I really needed to voice it all as it is killing me. So although my cat hasn’t suffered, I may well have ended her life too soon.