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I don't love my puppy...

Discussion in 'Dog Chat' started by Bloodonmoon, Apr 29, 2021.


  1. Bloodonmoon

    Bloodonmoon PetForums Newbie

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    I've posted already about the reason why I'm experiencing a puppy blues. My pup is quite nice, respond to orders, sleeps at night, etc. I just don't love him. I do everything for him mechanicaly, but I feel nothing, I don't even think he is cute. I feel only for my cat, and can't seem to enjoy any second spent with my pup. I come to a point where I can't even relax in my living room where the play pen is, because he is there.

    My point is : I do everything needed for my pup (though, with the puppy blues and roller coaster emotions, sometimes I just burst for little mistakes...), but I give him 0 love, it just doesn't work out for me. I only want to spent time with my cat, I may not be a dog person ? Plus I'm scared of the type of relation I'm growing with my pup, because Ionly give him mechanical things (training, walks, food, cuddles), but no joy coming from it. When I'm on the verg of bursting I get to my cat and relax near him.

    I wanted this puppy, I was happy about it, knowing what time it would take, but the fact is, I feel nothing for him now. I'm even happy to have duties to be away. I'm scared of what I'm building, if I should keep going on like that, or if I should rehome my pup so he is raised with love, and just come back to a life full of love for my cat. I'm at a complete lost. I'm also scare to be seen by my family/friend as a moinster, or not understood.

    My cat and pup are at a neutral state. They don't look for each other they just want to be with me. But I want only to be with my cat. And my cat can't be with me when the pup is near because he feels uncomfortable, and in 2 weeks it didn't get worse nor better. Maybe my cat feels it's hard for me and thus doesn't feel like trying either.

    My bond with my cat is really strong, since 5 years we go through everything together (hard life with no one to see because of constant moving from town to town due to my husband's work), he spends days with me, come cuddle purring on me 2 to 3 hours a day, and I literally can spend only few hours now with him, but he can't relax, he barely purrs, he doesn't enjoy the living room anymore even with the pup in his play pen, so not able to come after him. I feel like I've betrayed my cat in a way. And I feel like it's getting worse.. Anyone else got the same situation where the puppy blues come from another animal that feels down because of the new comer and you can overcome it ? I think things would be really different if I didn't have my cat, so it's the core problem. What should I do ?
     
  2. Rafa

    Rafa PetForums VIP

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    Most good Breeders will take back a pup they have bred.

    Have you spoken to his Breeder?
     
  3. Bloodonmoon

    Bloodonmoon PetForums Newbie

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    I'm afraid the breeder would judge me... But if people think I should rehome the pup, I will talk to the breeder first of course. Plus we chose to take the pup together with my husband but he is currently on duty (military man in the french navy), and I can't contact him to discuss this together. I fear how people might consider me... Am I being a mosnter for not being able to love my cat AND my pup ? ... I hate myself.
     
  4. Rafa

    Rafa PetForums VIP

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    The Breeder should not judge you.

    No, of course you're not a monster. Sometimes, there is no bond between human and animal. It just happens.

    It sounds as though you're getting no pleasure from your puppy so, it would be the kindest act to let the Breeder have him back, so that he can be rehomed.

    You have nothing to feel guilty about.
     
  5. Bloodonmoon

    Bloodonmoon PetForums Newbie

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    We wanted this pup with my husband, we really did, but I can't cope with seeing my cat so miserable. We thought a compagnion would be good for him, he would have someone else to play with, but it only makes him feel unease, not at home anymore. I would have never expected things to come out this way. I deeply love animals, but here nothing is coming out of this. But It's been only 2 weeks since I got the pup, some friends tell me that things could go better between the two of them. But I'm not sure how I can endure a "maybe" without being sure. I don't know if I should keep on trying like this, or give up sooner so the pupp doesn't grow too much with no love...
     
  6. 5rivers79

    5rivers79 PetForums VIP

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    How long have you had the pup? People shouldn’t judge but then people should also be aware of the commitment when taking on a new animal. The pups well being is first and foremost so whether judged or not the priority is to get it to a family that will love him.
     
  7. Lucy2020

    Lucy2020 PetForums Member

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    I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. It does sound like maybe you aren't a dog person, or at least not a puppy person. You aren't a monster. Nobody can say how the breeder will feel about it, but one would hope they would behave professionally and be understanding.

    You mention that your partner wants the dog too. Well, I don't mean to sound harsh, but he isn't actually there. Maybe things would be different if he was, and he was the one looking after it, but since he's not, it doesn't seem fair on you.
     
    teddylion likes this.
  8. LinznMilly

    LinznMilly Moderator
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    It's a difficult one. As this was a joint decision, I do think it's only fair that he has a say in this, and you need to tell him how you're feeling, but with him away in the Navy, I can see your problem. But at the same time, I wouldn't like it if I came home from work, expecting to see a cute little fur ball, only for a partner to say "I couldn't cope, I've taken him back to the breeder.,"

    You're not a monster, far from it. You're overwhelmed, and I don't think you were perhaps ready for the reality of a puppy, but that doesn't make you a monster.

    Does your living room have high places - shelves, a tall cat tree/run etc, where the cat can gain height and escape the puppy? If not, perhaps that might help your cat feel more comfortable around the pup?

    Is he able to go for walks yet? Sometimes it becomes easier when you get into a routine.
     
    JoanneF likes this.
  9. Calvine

    Calvine PetForums VIP

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    I think you should.
     
    LinznMilly likes this.
  10. rottieboys

    rottieboys PetForums Senior

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    Let the puppy go to someone who will bond with it.
     
  11. Bloodonmoon

    Bloodonmoon PetForums Newbie

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    Thanks all so much for your nice responses. I came to a point where my vet told me to bring back the pup as well, as my cat lost alrdeay 400 grams, and stopped eating for 5 days, and drinking, so my vet told me he couldn't keep on injected him to hydrate him forever, and that it was harsh but either I kept the puppy, and likely we would have to ease my cat pain (he is really in a terrible state), or give back the pup and make sure my cat goes better. So I made my mind, I can't sacrifice my cat over a pup just because I would feel miserable sending him back. My cat will feel better, so will I (with the perspective of my cat dieing slowly, I've started to hate having that pup home) and the breeder is really nice to his dogs so I know that even if he isn't rehomed, he wil lhave a good life.

    I had everything set to ease the two pets (cat trees, play pen so the cat could still come into the living room, gate to prevent pup to go in the bed rooms but my cat could still acces), but it just seem to doesn't match my cat at all. It feels like he can't bare with sharing us with another furr ball, and now we know it.
     
    #11 Bloodonmoon, Apr 30, 2021
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2021
    LinznMilly likes this.
  12. LinznMilly

    LinznMilly Moderator
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    Yeah, I absolutely stand by this. You need to return the pup for the sake of your cat. No question, no hesitation, no waiting for hubby.

    Hugs.
     
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