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I don't know what to do

Discussion in 'Cat Chat' started by SilverCat285, Sep 1, 2013.


  1. SilverCat285

    SilverCat285 PetForums Member

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    We got Maya yesterday. Got her home, settled her in for a few hours then decided to introduce her to Harley. We put her in a dog cage and let Harley into the room.

    They seemed to be ok, a few hisses from maya but that was it, so we let her out the cage and played with a few toys. They completely ignored each other at first, then Harley decided he wanted to play fight and she screamed the house down.

    Now everytime she sees him she growls and hisses. And everytime he gets close to her, he jumps on her head and bites at her.

    She ended up sleeping in a dog cage in my room. I know it's only been a day but I feel like maybe he's pushed her too far. My parents are already suggesting giving one back. I can't imagine giving one back, I watched Maya grow up, and Harley's spent a few weeks here already.

    Any advice? I really don't want to give her up.
     
  2. smiler84

    smiler84 PetForums VIP

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    I'm sure someone much more knowledgeable willbe along soon, but just wanted to say don't panic. It's still very early days! Hang in there :)
     
  3. buffie

    buffie Mentored by Meeko

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    I think you need to start again.
    I am no expert in the intro's thing as the only time I tried it was an epic failure and the 2 cats spent their lives living at opposite ends of the house and tried never to cross each others path. Have a read of this link it will explain much better than I can..............


    Living Together - Introducing a New Cat

    Good luck :D
     
  4. Quinzell

    Quinzell PetForums VIP

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    I take it Harley is a cat? If so, I think you've done the introductions too quickly. Do you have a spare room that Maya can stay in for now? Or at least a way to separate them? I would keep Maya in one room (she needs to get used to be somewhere new herself) and this way Harley and Maya can get used to eachothers scents. Perhaps after a couple of days you can swap blankets so they get more smells. Then in a week, introduce by having one in a crate and another outside so that they can physically see eachother, and see how it goes that way.

    You could also use a Feliway diffuser to try and relax them both a bit.

    Definitely don't try and rush introductions. Harley, although he has only been with you a few weeks, has probably only just got used to being with you himself and now he has a new challenge.

    Good luck :)
     
  5. SilverCat285

    SilverCat285 PetForums Member

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    Harley is a kitten, he's 12 weeks and Maya is 9 weeks (I also have a 3 year old cat) I was told from the shelter that since they're so young I could just put them together and they'd be fine
     
  6. robedha

    robedha PetForums Member

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    I hope all goes well and they do eventually grow to like each other. Please keep us updated as I shall be watching this thread closely. I am hoping to get another cat on Saturday and really want the introduction to go well. Willow is about 8 months and I have been her slave for just over 2 months.

    Buffie thanks for the link I've bookmarked it and will be reading it carefully.
     
  7. SilverCat285

    SilverCat285 PetForums Member

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    Oh and I have a feliway already. Harley's safe room is the bathroom, Maya's being kept in a dog cage in my room (she's only in it when unsupervised).

    The shelter told me to give it a month and if they still don't get on then I've to bring one back. So I'm panicking in case I've messed this up. I'm already so attached to them.
     
    #7 SilverCat285, Sep 1, 2013
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2013
  8. Jesthar

    Jesthar PetForums VIP

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    Sometimes you can, sometimes you can't. Not my specialist subject, but the difference between a 9 week and 12 week kitten is quite a lot, so Maya might feel quite intimidated.

    You've only had her sine yesterday, though - I've had Lorelei (12 weeks old) for about ten days now, and I'm still getting lots of hisses and growls from my 8 year old Charlie-girl, though progress has definitely been positive so far.

    Anyway, give it time. 24 hours is hardly any time at all for them to bond, so take all the advice from the experienced people here and try to be patient - I know all too well at the minute how frustrating it can be when things don't go as smoothly as you dream of!

    *hugs*

    ~Jes
     
  9. Jiskefet

    Jiskefet Slave to the Hairy Hikers

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    Keep them completely apart for now and start all over again.

    I'd start by scent-mixing....
    Take a washcloth and give Maya a good rub with it, and do the same on Harley with another washcloth. Then rub their scent all over each other by rubbing each with the washcloth you previously used on the other cat.
    Try to get your scent on both cats, too, and the scent of both cats on you.

    That way, everyone will smell of everyone, and they will smell more familiar to each other.

    You can also swap cat beds to further mix scents.

    When you want to get them together, thoroughly tire them out first - apart from each other - and keep Maya safely in your arms when luring Harley on your lap for a nap.

    Did Maya grow up with other kittens, or was she hand-reared? Her screaming her head off when confronted with a playfighting kitten suggests she may not be used to the rough and tumble of kitten play, in which case the introductions will be a lot harder.
     
  10. SilverCat285

    SilverCat285 PetForums Member

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    They both came from litters of 5, but it seems that her litter were all very gentle and didn't take part in rough and rumble play
     
  11. Jiskefet

    Jiskefet Slave to the Hairy Hikers

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    That would explain her reaction to Harley's boisterous approach, and of course the fact that he is so much older. It would have been better to keep Maya with her mother and siblings till she was at least 12 weeks old. She is still such a baby, and needs her mother, really. Most of the socialisation takes place between 8 and 12 weeks, that is when they learn 'manners', like not being too rough with each other and backing off when the other screams.
    Kittens that stay with the litter till 12 weeks tend to be more confident, more outgoing, and will have a better developed immune system, as they will still get antibodies from their mother's milk during these extra weeks.
     
  12. SilverCat285

    SilverCat285 PetForums Member

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    I know however I adopted then from a shelter where they only keep them until they are 8-9 weeks old.

    They're personalities are like chalk and cheese. She's so tiny, gentle and quiet you never hear her in the house. You always know where Harley is, he always thunders around, really boisterous and playful.
     
  13. Jiskefet

    Jiskefet Slave to the Hairy Hikers

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    If she is that timid, I fear she will be struggling with having such a big boisterous adoptive brother. You will need to supervise their time together very closely, and tire Harley out playing, so he is not going to go for her.

    And I would keep them completely apart for now, at least till the difference in size and development is a bit less obvious. Hopefully, she will get a bit less timid, too, as she settles in.
     
  14. SilverCat285

    SilverCat285 PetForums Member

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    She isn't timid as such, I would have said she was quite confident if I didn't already have Harley, he's so overconfident and full of himself lol.

    How long do you think I should keep them apart?
     
  15. SilverCat285

    SilverCat285 PetForums Member

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    I've had Maya for 3 weeks now and things still aren't much better between them.

    Maya is now 12 1/2 weeks and harley is 15 1/2. There is still a MASSIVE size difference between them, Harley is almost 2kgs and maya is only 900g.

    Maya has stopped growling and snarling at harley, she is quite happy to play with him through the cage but as soon as she is out the cage all hell breaks loose :mad2:

    It wouldn't be so bad if there wasn't such a difference in size. She tries to play back and chase him etc but as soon as he gets her she's just flattened and can't get away.

    As soon as harley sees her he just jumps straight on her and bites at her throat and stomach. I'm not sure if he's being aggressive, or trying to dominate her or if he's just over excited and playing roughly.

    Could neutering him help? Is he even old enough to be showing these sort of behaviors? He'll be getting neutered anyway but I was just wondering if it could stop this behavior. Our vet doesn't want to do them until they are at least 5 1/2 months.

    The feliway ran out but I'm going to order some more (even though it didn't seem to make a difference when it was on). I was looking at the flying frenzy and wondered if it might be worth ordering one for him to tire him out. He does play with the toys we have but he doesn't go "crazy" for any of them.

    Sorry for the long post.
     
  16. Jiskefet

    Jiskefet Slave to the Hairy Hikers

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    I think your boy is very energetic and hopes to release some of that pent-up energy in play-fighting with Maya. It sounds like he considers her his favourite chasing toy, which she, of course, doesn't like one bit. By young boys, Connor and Romeo, are like that, too, only they are a lot older and they have both enjoyed this rough playfighting from the start.

    I'd get some interactive toys, like a laser pen and a flying frenzy, straight away and play with him to tire him out before letting Maya into the same room.
    When she is in the same room, engage both of them in play with the laser pen or the dangly toy, so they learn to play with each other as a hunting team, instead of hunting each other. Maybe Harley would like a battery-operated toy mouse he can hunt, or a bouncy ball to chase....

    He needs to learn to release his energy on other things than Maya....
     
    #16 Jiskefet, Sep 22, 2013
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2013
  17. SilverCat285

    SilverCat285 PetForums Member

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    I already have laser pens, dangling toys and bouncy balls, as soon as she's in the room he wants nothing to do with them :mad2:

    He has a VERY short attention span with toys, they lose their novelty after a while. Got him a kickeroo toy, he loved it for a whole 10 minutes and hasn't looked at it since. So far the biggest hit has been boinks which kept him amused for about a week before he lost interest.

    Honestly, if he was human I think he'd be diagnosed with ADHD :rolleyes:
     
  18. Jiskefet

    Jiskefet Slave to the Hairy Hikers

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    Sounds like Harley indeed has the feline equivalent of ADHD. Have you tried moving (battery-operated or wind-up) toys? Your best option would be one with erratic movements, as he seems to tire easily of anything predictable.

    I would suggest spraying the toys with catnip to make them more attractive, but for the fact that some cats get even more hyper and aggressive on it......

    Does he get a lot of dry food?
    Even high-quality dry food contains a lot of carbohydrates, which does make some cats very hyper. You might try feeding him a complete (frozen) raw food or wet food with a high meat content, which contains far more protein and far less carbs and comes a lot closer to a cat's natural diet. Do make sure you buy raw food especially for cats, not dogs, though.
     
  19. SilverCat285

    SilverCat285 PetForums Member

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    He has the "racing mouse" toy from zooplus (I'd post a link but I have no idea how) where you pull it backwards and he will play with that but as soon as maya is in the room it's the same story as any other toy.

    All he ever does is eat :yikes: he eats about 350g of animonda carny wet food plus about 20g of applaws dry per day.

    I just ordering a flying frenzy plus one attachment and a feliway refill.

    Do you think neutering would make a difference? The vet said he didn't want to neuter before 6 months but would do them from 4months if he had to.
     
  20. Jiskefet

    Jiskefet Slave to the Hairy Hikers

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    It might well make a difference. Some cats calm down considerably after neutering. It's no guarantee, though, but it might curb some of his adolescent cattitude.

    You wouldn't want to give up on either of them out of desperation, only to discover afterwards that Hayley turned into a big softie after being neutered.....
     
    #20 Jiskefet, Sep 22, 2013
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2013
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