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i came *this* close...

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by kodakkuki, Oct 7, 2013.


  1. kodakkuki

    kodakkuki PetForums VIP

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    to leaving my course tonight! now i love the course (l3 ext animal management- A-level). one of the tutors has been picking on me and a few other girls since the start of last year and it's getting ridiculous! she is aware that i suffer from depression and severe anxiety and stress disorder (to the point i pass out) yet she continues to do everything in her power to make me feel like sh!t.
    tonight for example... in june i was asked to take the corn snake home Very last minute- i was loading their rats and chinchilla into the car when they asked me!- but i said yes no problem because i knew it would be a huge help to the staff (and the coordinator was extremely grateful top me for taking them all).
    i returned her this eve when this particular Witch (please substitute the W) was teaching the night class- i had cleared it with her earlier today when i was in. as they hadn't started yet i asked if i could borrow someone to give me a hand carrying the 3ft wooden viv into the room; she said no. i then said sorry, but i cant carry it alone, i need help. at this point a girl in the class i thankfully know stood up and followed me to the car to get it.... all was grand.
    i was popping the snake back in the viv when Witch sent the members of the class who wanted to see her in; that was grand- they were asking me about her, i was telling- it was fun for all. she then sticks her head in looking at me and says 'any chance? i need to get started' so most of them head back out, apart from the guy holding the snake. a few mins later she comes in to see if i'm done and i realize i forgot the lock for the door- i did panic a bit, but surely its no biggie- a corn snake couldn't Ever budge that door! but oh no, i can't put her in with no lock- she'll open it and escape overnight. i told her i couldn't take her home again now, can i not wedge the door. ok, but i have to make sure its done right- i agree, thats fair enough; she leaves, i put the snake back and wedge the door, gather up my things (my own personal carrier i used, pillow case i used as a snake bag because they didn't have one etc.) and headed out. i got to the door and waved bye at her at which point i get a 'here, wait until i check this' she does check and even she couldn't open the door so all was well- i headed or the door again. 'now if she gets out tonight you'll be getting a very angry call in the morning- and it'll be you spending all day looking for her' not knowing what to say i chuckled, smiled and turned to leave, at which point i get a 'so i'd say for you not to be sleeping to well tonight then' and i must admit i did then give her a look and walk out.
    got to the car (my mum had drove), and broke down into a panic attack.

    is it just me or is that out of line for her to say? this woman has been a teacher then tutor for 30+ years and seems to get a kick out of making grown women cry; she could see i was getting uncomfortable- even being in a room of strangers on my own is a big deal for me, never mind getting all that from a tutor! and she is well aware of my problems. because my mum was there and knows i've had problems with the woman before she took my phone and called my pastoral coordinator who was as livid about it all as my mum. i think she and the course head are taking it to the next level- so a complaint about her to the head of department.

    worst of it is, it must be bad enough for them to want to make a complaint, but yet with all i still feel terrible getting the Witch in trouble!


    sorry, no real point to this... just a bit of a rant and complain. i am supposed to have her all afternoon tomorrow, but have been told to leave it until wed and have a day off so i don't have to deal with her tomorrow... but i must say, my pastoral tutor was absolutely lovely about it all- even though i did call her at 8.30 on a monday eve!
     
  2. eiretzu

    eiretzu PetForums Member

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    So sorry you have had to go through this. She is not a bit professional and the was she spoke to you was way out of order after you had done them all a favour too helping out with the snake. She is a lot worse than a witch. I hope you do follow through with the complaint she needs to know she cannot treat people like that and get away with it. It's good you have another tutor to speak to who understands. I really hope you do get a good night's sleep take the break as advised and come back refreshed. good luck when you do go back do not let this nasty person get you down. Please do not leave your course over this spiteful person you are better than her.
     
  3. cinnamontoast

    cinnamontoast Sois pas chiant, chéri.

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    You should definitely lodge a formal complaint: this woman appears to take pleasure in making you uncomfortable and I can't see how she is allowed to teach. :confused: Don't feel bad, hun, she's treating you badly and should be disciplined so hopefully she doesn't do it to future students.
     
  4. ItsonlyChris

    ItsonlyChris PetForums Senior

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    Yeah, file a complaint. You go to college to learn and relax. Not to be bullied by a grown woman.
     
  5. metame

    metame PetForums VIP

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    I'm glad your pastoral tutor is being nice about it. I hope you gettin sorted
     
  6. kodakkuki

    kodakkuki PetForums VIP

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    thank you so much everyone! i feel so petty filing a complain because 'a lady was mean to me' but she has me quite scared to go back and face her.
    well, i did as told by the other tutors and didnt go in today but apparently half the class didnt show up so she says shes going to 'have words with us all' when she gets the chance; i can see her trying to pull us out during another tutors class tomorrow- i'm going to refuse to go alone though- and ideally tell her that she needs to fetch one of the other tutors before speaking to me alone.
    i'm really scared of her- irrational i know, but i am genuinely scared of going in and having to maybe see her- i'm 22 years old, she shouldn't be making grown women scared of education! this course is the biggest step i've ever taken- i was agoraphobic until i got my meds sorted mere months before joining the course (went in to join the part time night one and thee head of department asked me to give this one a try instead :rolleyes: ) and this With better not screw it up on me!
     
  7. metame

    metame PetForums VIP

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    Well I think you're doing brilliantly
     
    kodakkuki likes this.
  8. Summersky

    Summersky PetForums VIP

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    It's not petty at all, in fact it is brave, and you have your pastoral support backing you. I bet others have complained before you - and why should she be allowed to carry on like this? She nearly ruined your future.

    The woman is a bully, and you can bet that if she's been teaching for 3 years, she will have done the same to many others too - and given the chance, will carry on doing so.

    So when you lodge your complaint, what you will be doing is protecting others in the future from having the same problem.

    While the latest incident is still fresh in your mind, can I suggest you type it up and print it out. Include her words where you can remember them (eg about not sleeping that might....) Also make a record of other things she has done or said. Then you have it all for when you need it.

    Also ask your mum to write a staement about how you were affected.

    Can I also suggest that you talk either to a sympathetic tutor or you pastoral support, re you being frightened about meeting her alone/being in her class. You are entitled to have an advocate with you, so as not to be alone with her.

    Then she will behave in a better way, I am sure.

    Good luck.
     
  9. cinnamontoast

    cinnamontoast Sois pas chiant, chéri.

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    Defo take either a friend or other tutor to support you, refuse to speak to her alone. I don't care that you're 20, you're entitled to support. Stand up for yourself, hun. :)
     
  10. Jesthar

    Jesthar PetForums VIP

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    What Summersky said.

    You're not getting her in to trouble - she has got herself into trouble by acting in a totally unprofessional manner and publicly belittling someone she knows to have health problems. That alone is enough to get her in serious trouble under the Disability Discrimination Act! Add in bullying the other women too, and I suggest you take pride in being the one to finally stand up and say enough is enough :)

    *hugs* Please try not to feel bad about it - I'm a strong, independent lass with no mental health history at all, yet a few years ago I wound up signed off work for ten weeks due to work induced stress and reactive depression brought on by the two years of bullying from a very senior manger at work. Never thought it would, could, happen to me - but it did...

    Have you thought about asking the other girls if they want to complain too? Oh, and I also agree that you should always take a friend with you to an meetings - I did :)
     
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