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I am SO annoyed with my OH!!

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by sequeena, May 24, 2010.


  1. sequeena

    sequeena PetForums VIP

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    Since everything kicked off in March I've been helping my mum a lot more because she hasn't got a car anymore. My sister is agoraphobic and my niece is either busy or is wary of being out herself so it's down to me to help her do a lot of her shopping.

    I don't mind. She's my mum and she's disabled. I'm not going to let her go to P@H by herself, buy a large sack of litter, a sack of cat food, dog food and tinned cat food and let her bring it home HERSELF.

    My OH has been grumbling because I'm mostly out (even though he works nights anyway so sleeps in the day!!!) and today was the last straw.

    My mum is going to the doctors tomorrow afternoon and sadly there's no buses that will run her there. I offered to go with her and when I told him he said to me "Ha!! I knew it!!"

    :mad:

    WTF!!! I am so fed up of this attitude. My mum is 54, can't speak very well, is disabled and he expects me to just leave her by herself??

    Get a grip and grow up!!!
     
  2. xxwelshcrazyxx

    xxwelshcrazyxx PetForums VIP

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    Well done for sticking to your guns and helping your mother out. Like you say she havent any other way of doing things. This is what families are for, they help each other out. He is going to have to learn to accept that you will be going to help your mother when she desperatly needs you. Tell him if it was his mother what would he do, I am sure he would help her out and if he didnt then he isnt a very nice person to his parent. Hope he calms down soon not to upset you anymore. xxxxx
     
  3. dingal2000

    dingal2000 PetForums VIP

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    I couldnt be like that im nrmally the first one t jump in my car and go hep someone when i can, and would never grumble at it, somepeople do need more help than others and people should be there to help with those extra things, what kind of people would we be if we always rufsed to help others
     
  4. vickie1985

    vickie1985 PetForums VIP

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    disrespectfull git him!

    good on you for helping your mum, one day he may need help, and you make sure you tell him to swivle!!
     
  5. sequeena

    sequeena PetForums VIP

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    It's driving me mad. It's getting to the point where I don't want to tell him what I'm doing the next day because he'll start having a moan :mad:

    If it were his mum he'd probably tell her to jump off a cliff :rolleyes: There's bad blood there though

    You're right, he will have to learn to accept that I will be there for my mum WHENEVER she needs me. Even if it's at 2am!
     
  6. Muriel May

    Muriel May Guest

    I dont know what else he expects you to do, she is your mum hun and you have to help her as you say she has nobody else.

    You should be very proud of yourself hun. :D:D:D

    Well done you. :thumbup:
     
  7. Haley

    Haley PetForums Member

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    Ah hun, what a shame he is being like that. It's tough for you and sometimes you must be tired but you are a good daughter.

    I feel that he needs to be more supportive and realise how hard this is for you, you can't keep everyone happy but mum needs you, bless her x
     
  8. sequeena

    sequeena PetForums VIP

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    Thanks all :) He's not used to being around my family so much and yes I understand the points he makes and yes perhaps I am maybe doing too much (I drop a lot of my plans) but so what ... I'd rather that than run the risk of her hurting herself or worse.
     
  9. Starlite

    Starlite PetForums VIP

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    my OHs the same hun.
    He works 6 days a week 6am - 7pm and when he comes home he rarely stays up till 10 coz he's knackered (fair enough)
    On a Saturday i tend to go to my mums or sisters for a few beers and some company as im in on my own all week till he comes home, dont have anyone up this way :(

    He moans that i always "ditch him" at the weekends but when he's off he doesnt want to do ANYTHING as he moans he's tired and sits and plays his Xbox. Apparently me going to see my family means im always out :rolleyes:

    Do what i do hun, ignore him lol!
    pardon my french but fcuk him, he dont like it he knows where the door is. can play his Xbox EVERY nite when he's single :D
     
  10. deb53

    deb53 PetForums VIP

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    Exactly!!! ..Mums are very special and we are the lucky ones to have a Mum around.

    xx
     
  11. sequeena

    sequeena PetForums VIP

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    Oh I am so tempted to give him his marching orders but I know this is just a tantrum because he's not used to 'sharing' me so much.

    But like you I'm on my own most days (sometimes he has to work 9 days to get 2 nights off) and I do get lonely, even with the furries about.

    So true!! My mum is a gem and right now she needs me around as much as I need her.
     
  12. ChinaBlue

    ChinaBlue PetForums VIP

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    It does sound like he is being a bit unfair and a little childish but if there is bad blood between his mother and him then he probably doesn't understand the depth of your feelings for your mum. However if it is causing a lot of bad feeling and stress between the two of you is there any way of perhaps getting your mum some additional support - just to ease the pressure on you. If you get in touch with your local Social Services they should be able to give you telephone numbers of some voluntary organisations that may be able to provide volunteers to help take your mum shopping or to the hospital or whatever. Also, is your mum any good with a computer - could she order her shopping online and have it delivered to her door. (I appreciate your mum may like to go shopping with you just to get out of the house and enjoy some company but if you are ever stuck then....).

    Make the most of your time with your mum; they are precious. Mine passed away last week.:(
     
  13. funnykoozies

    funnykoozies PetForums Newbie

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    Your post is excited. Very fun
     
  14. Clare7435

    Clare7435 PetForums VIP

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    Ignore his winging hun....then tell him to get some milk and cookies and send him to his room.,he's acting like a spoilt brat.
    You only get one mum....I spent a lot of time with mine near the end and the only time my fella heard from me is a phone call asking him to pick me up from the hostpital at the end of the night...and the occasional phone call before i collapsed into bed....and if she was still here I'd do it all over again, so my advice is that life is too short and you never know what's round the corner so you carry on being the caring good daughter that you are
    Clare xx
     
  15. michaelasi

    michaelasi PetForums VIP

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    or u can tell him , u just washed the door mat and looks comfortable :D:D:D
     
  16. sequeena

    sequeena PetForums VIP

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    Oh hun I am so sorry for your loss :( What a devastating time for you :( *hugs* if it's ok xx

    Thank you for the advice :) My mum can barely work a mobile phone lol and she doesn't like the idea of shopping online because a) she's worried about fraud and b) she's a shoppaholic and loves nothing more than to spend 5 hours in a supermarket :rolleyes:

    I'll ask her about the volunteer thing. She is very stubborn and doesn't ask for help much (she's almost self sufficient really) so I don't know if she'll go for it lol

    I don't mind doing things for my mum, especially during the day when my OH is asleep. Once the dog walking/feeding/training/playing is done there's not much else to do than twiddle my thumbs (or you know, clean the house but who wants to do that?!) :rolleyes:

    Aw thank you :eek: I think I worry about her way too much but I'd rather be over protective than leave her to it.

    Bless you but I bet your OH completely understood :)

    Hahaa oh hun I've not got a door mat, I'll polish the back step for him though. He might get some newspaper too if he's lucky ;)
     
  17. Joolz1975

    Joolz1975 PetForums Member

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    Id drop EVERYTHING to help out my parents, they are the most amazing parents a person could have!

    Nothing is too much trouble for them they have helped me out financially, child care wise and been great with me when i was single parent brining up an ill child!

    Thankfully my life has evened out somewhat now and i dont rely on them for help anymore but i appreciate all the things they have ever done for me and if they needed ANYTHING id be there in a flash!

    My mum and dad both have ill health now (mum chronic arthiritis my dad has had a severe heart attack) there health means so much to me!

    They are in a house and really need a bungalow but dont want to take out a mortgage at their age to pay anything else towards the cost of a more expensive property than the one they are in, im lucky my husband is great and said if they need help we can take on a small mortgage to allow them to move as it will mean they are more comfortable but at the moment we are waiting to see if council will house them in sheltered accomodation as they both have medical priority and could then sell their home to pay rent on a bungalow, if this doesnt happen then even if it makes us skint we will fund the extra to buy them a home.

    I am really lucky that my husband is great with my parents but if he wasnt he would be shown the door as they have done so much for me!
     
  18. sequeena

    sequeena PetForums VIP

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    :thumbup:

    I'm hoping my oh will come round. He's not the monster I've painted him to be but he's from Yorkshire and stubborn through and through :rolleyes:
     
  19. dobermum

    dobermum PetForums Senior

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    Hey girl!

    Good for you helping out your family, and standing up for yourself. As for the o.h. ... give him a taste of his own med and go on strike .... and if he doesn't like that ... pack his bags! Works for me every time.

    Men .... useless bloody eejits!

    D x
     
  20. sequeena

    sequeena PetForums VIP

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    His name being on the tenancy doesn't matter does it? :lol:
     
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