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How to give a cat a pill............

Discussion in 'Cat Chat' started by Cockerpoo lover, Apr 11, 2011.


  1. Cockerpoo lover

    Cockerpoo lover PetForums VIP

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    How to Give a Cat a Pill ( for fun not for real!!):D

    1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby.

    Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth.

    Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

    2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa.

    Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.


    3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.


    4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand.

    Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.


    5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe

    Call spouse in from the garden.

    6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws.

    Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.


    7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail.

    Get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.


    8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit.

    Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw

    9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans and drink one beer to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

    10. Retrieve cat from neighbour’s shed.

    Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.


    11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink.


    Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.


    12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from the top of the tree across the road. Apologize to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat.

    Take last pill from foil wrap.


    13. Using heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed, tie the little *&#%^'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour two pints of water down throat to wash pill down.


    14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the A&E. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.


    15. Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
    :D:D:D
     
    lymorelynn likes this.
  2. Myanimalmadhouse

    Myanimalmadhouse PetForums VIP

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    OR use spot on wormer and take the vets for any other pills needed :tongue_smilie:
     
  3. Marley boy

    Marley boy PetForums VIP

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    or hide it in some chicken :D
     
  4. Myanimalmadhouse

    Myanimalmadhouse PetForums VIP

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    Doesn't work with my gizmo - he eats the chicken and simply leaves the pill on the floor - even if you do get him to swallow a pill he will physically make himself sick! :nono:
     
  5. MaineCoonMommy

    MaineCoonMommy PetForums Member

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    LOL Very funny. I was surprised at how easily he took his wormer at the vets. With my luck he'll be doing all of the above when it's my turn to do it.
     
  6. welshjet

    welshjet PetForums VIP

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    Ha ha ha, oh the joys! My oh doesnt know what he's let himself in for, never having a cat before, i did warn him some of it was true!

    Tip from our vet was to crush it, pop it in something sticky perhaps marmite and pop it on his coat and paws where he can reach to lick it of by washing!
     
  7. catzz

    catzz PetForums Senior

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    :) :) Mine take pills good as gold at the vets. At home however they DO NOT TAKE PILLS. They even run away from fleas drops! They have spot on wormers (which they also run away from) and when Gypsy had to have antibiotics just after Christmas I got it in liquid form. She's quite a good girl so squirting it down her throat wasn't too bad. However I dread the day Kiera needs pills. Trying to hold on to her is like trying to hold on to a wet, slimey wriggling eel. :)
     
  8. CanIgoHome

    CanIgoHome PetForums VIP

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    cream cheese always works for me:p
     
  9. Dally Banjo

    Dally Banjo PetForums VIP

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    So you've been to our house then :rolleyes: :lol:
     
  10. Donskie

    Donskie PetForums Member

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    Looks like you've been to our house with these tried and failed methods on Babooshka, LOL!! Must remember to pinch welding gloves outta hubbys van when giving her pill next time, or maybe try the cream cheese method hmmm
     
  11. vanessalane1

    vanessalane1 PetForums Newbie

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    First, on a surface where she doesn't normally go, break up the tablets into little pieces. Get some strong-smelling meat, and hide the pills inside it. Lay it out on the floor where she will come across it. She will think she has got lucky finding some food, and will be unaware that you have had a hand in them. Remember to get the pieces in different bits of food, don't cram it all in the one bit.
     
  12. MoggyBaby

    MoggyBaby PetForums VIP

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    Thank you Lord for blessing me with two wonderful cats who take their tablets without any fuss at all what-so-ever.

    Dare I say that my cats will both come when called to receive their tablets, let me open their mouths, pop in tablet, close their mouths, they swallow and toddle back to whatever they were doing..

    Or is that just bragging....??? :D :D
     
  13. missye87

    missye87 PetForums VIP

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    So not fair! Sooty has daily tablets for CRF, and he is a right bugger about it. Sometimes he is good, you pop it on the back of his tounge (after having had his teeth sunk into your finger) and it just kind of goes down. Sometimes it takes us 8 attempts as he keeps it in the back of his throat and then coughs it back up again! I keep a treat right in front of him, and a syringe without the needle with some milk to help it go down!
     
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