today I finally put my 18 year old Cat to rest. It was the hardest decision I’ve ever made. I’m still sitting here wondering if I made the right one. But I saw today she had changed completely. She was so depressed she didn’t even put up a fight going to the vet like she usually would. How do I stop second guessing myself? I keep wondering, was it something else? Should I have given her more time? (We gave her a week and a half to tuRn around but she had a bad reaction to the pain meds) I know she was old but I had begun to think she would live till she was twenty because she had been doing so good until this year when she slowed down a lot. The vet assured me we did the right thing. She said even if we waited she wouldn’t live much longer and could have had a stressful ‘natural’ death. The vet offered more pain killers but because she was reacting badly it wouldn’t have helped much. I decided to pull the band aid and do it today. I couldn’t be yhere for the procedure as they weren’t able to get a viable vein for the injection so the vet had to inject her heart directly and she told us it would be incredibly traumatising. She had been sedated for some time at this stage. So I kissed her and tried to hold on to how she felt and smelt. Throwing out her uneaten food was so so painful. I don’t know how to cope with this. I feel this massive void opening up in my life. I was six when I got her. I grew up with her. She was my world. I’ve never experienced a loss like this with a person. So I’m not sure how to handle it. I also feel like I can’t properly grieve as people might think ‘she’s just a cat’. But she was my everything. How do I even begin to cope with this ? I feel like I’m in a nightmare and I don’t know how to get out of it. I keep remembering saying goodbye to her. I keep imagining her lifeless body. I badly wish she was still with me even though it’s selfish. Any tips on how to cope would be really appreciated. I just haven’t stopped crying all day. All week in fact, as I watched her slow down more and more. I haven’t slept And have hardly eaten.