UK Pet Forums Forum banner
  • Please post in our Community Feedback thread for help with the new forum software! If you are having trouble logging in, please Contact Us for assistance.

1 - 14 of 14 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
19,820 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Would you let your child come home from school.. help themselves to whatever in the house then go off to whatever friends they felt like that day??

I know I am in a smallish village, but next doors daughter is 10, she gets home from school just after 3, goes in, lets the dog out then goes to whatever friends house she wants to.

Today she has left the gate to our garden open twice (on the way in and out) so Bullseye come to he window and annoyed our 2. She has shut the house door and gone to the friends, leaving the gate open and the fireguard that acts as a gate to the alley as the door doesn't close, left that open too.

No one else gets home til well after 4 if the mum is working.

Am i just being over protective when I say that when my son is 10 I will be making sure someone is home for him? My sister is 11 and even though there is 2 roads to cross and 2 lollypop men to get to my aunties house, my dads gf makes sure someone is there to meet her at school.

I have given the dog some water in the dish that was outside, but I'm not taking him inside like I used to as they don;t appreciate my advice.. Also like I said to my oh.. if I wanted an extra dog to look after all the time, i'd get another one! Lol

x
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,107 Posts
At 11 I was going to and from secondary school on my own getting 2 public buses in the process. I think it depends on the child though some are more mature than others but at 11 I'd say they would be fine coming home on their own.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,043 Posts
We were allowed to let ourselves in etc from the age of 9/10, we lived right close to our school and live in a big estate. When we moved, i had to walk 20/30 mins to my old primary school aged 10/11 by myself before i moved to secondary where i walked the 15 mins to school with my bro till he left. (will add used to do this in pishing rain and snow blizzards, very rarely got lifts and the bus took as long as walking so didn't see the point in spending lunch money on it).

both parents worked so inevitably i got in first, got drink, biccys etc and did what i pleased. I didn't have to tell my mum where i was unless i wasn't going to be back for tea. this was the norm for all my mates and bro's mates growing up, even when half our estate was a buildy site.

I think it's wrong to assume all kids are immature or mature at a certain age and it also depends on the parents feelings as well as experiences when that age. all depends on the area, roads, knowledge of the area, proximity of friends houses (safe houses/shops) etc.

I reckon you should politely speak to the kid and tell her why it's important to do certain things as it's a shared area or whatever. If she gives you lip THEN talk to the parents.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,883 Posts
No I don't think you are being over protective, my son is 8 and I very reluctantly let him walk to the post office straight from school for the first time about a month ago, it is just down the road from the school, alot of the other children in his year go and he just kept on , so I said yes, it gave him a real confidence boost haveing just that 5 mins on his own,, no roads to cross, I picked him and my daughter up from school took his bag and off he went, I went to the car then drove down to him,

But I would say 15 is a good time for them to be on there own in the house
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
31,193 Posts
I personaly think it depends on how mature the child is.Having said that,i do believe that if you don't feel comfortable letting your child go antwhere on their own then don't.:D:D
 
G

·
also agree depends on how comfortable you were with the childs maturity :)

My parents divorced at 8, by 10 my mum had to work such long hours that i used to come home at half 3 (20min walk) let myself in, then mum got home at 5ish. I did have to call my mum at work everyday when i got home though.. different days now though so dont know what i would do if it were my kids (not that i have any)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
192 Posts
I think at 10 I will still be home for my daughter and probably picking her up from school-not that Im a worrier lol :D

I guess it depends where we are living when shes that age too...

There will be other ways she can learn about responsibilty and enjoy her own freedom

Like was said before, when you feel comfortable enough, do it then
 
G

·
Personally I think 10 is far too young to be leaving in the house on their own! Yeah, I'll let my kids walk to and from school at that age cos there is always the lollipop man there but until they are in high school at least they will not be getting left in the house on their own! Aside from the fact that I'd worry about them...is it not illegal to leave a child under 13 home alone?? x
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
358 Posts
...is it not illegal to leave a child under 13 home alone?? x
I thought this too. One of my friends when I was at school (at 11) used to be home on her own all the time with her little brother (who was 8) and one of the neighbours called the police on them one day, the mum got a stern talking to and they threatened social care if they found them again. Maybe that's changed now? (Though it wasn't that long ago).

Personally I wouldn't leave a child that young on their own, i'd let them walk to and from school maybe but at that age I personally believe they're still not responsible enough to be left alone, how would they react if there was a fire or similar?

Saying that I always craved independence at that age (I wasn't allowed in the house on my own until I was at least 14)

It comes down to the parents, they know their child best and if they think they'll be ok then that's a decision they have to make.
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
18,773 Posts
It does depend on your own circumstances (work I mean) and the maturity of the child. It's difficult because, I think 10 is an awkward age to send them to a childminder for one hour but I don't agree with kids being latch key, sorry I just don't.

I have a 10 yo and a 13 yo. They have plenty of controlled freedom ;)
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
19,820 Posts
Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Maybe people round here just do things differently. They have lived here since before the son was born, hes 14.

But the daughter just goes off every morning to meet her friends and walk to school.. It's only 10 mins up the road.

If both parents are working she just comes home, then goes to a friends, then they all usually muck about round the village.. biking up and down the road or in the field.

I think when my son is 10 I will either be home when he finishes school, or picking him up, or making sure someone else is. But hopefully by then i will have a younger child too, so i will need to be home! :D


x
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,846 Posts
I was allowed to walk home from school when I was about 7 years old, my parents had my brother with special needs to look after and a baby at the time and as my school was 10 mins away I was told to walk home from school! I used to cross the main road off the by pass with my teacher cos she lived bout 2 roads away from me. I was allowed to go out from my house when I was about 8ish, but wasn't allowed to cross the by pass till i was about 10 because the pedestrian lights didn't work.

I would let my children go out on their own from about 10ish, because I would want them to have some independence before they went to high school. I think once they are in high school, then they should be allowed to freely go out and do what they like within reason!
 
1 - 14 of 14 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top