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Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Merlin Birmingham, Apr 12, 2011.


  1. Merlin Birmingham

    Merlin Birmingham PetForums Senior

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    Ok I dnt want sympathy or any such thing just some ideas what you have all done in the past...

    When you have split up with someone what have you done to occupy your time and get over them?

    I know that time is the greatest healer and you shouldnt rush the grieving procedure but what is it you do to help yourself?
     
  2. MoggyBaby

    MoggyBaby PetForums VIP

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    Well, whatever you do DON'T go out for a walk!!! :nono:

    Five years ago, I did that 4 days after I'd split with my b/f of 3 years. I came home from my walk with a bloke who is now my husband!!!!!! :eek: :eek: :eek:

    I recommend staying at home & hiding under the bed where no-one with marital intentions can find you! :mad:
     
  3. xxwelshcrazyxx

    xxwelshcrazyxx PetForums VIP

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    Separation/Loss is a horrible thing to deal with, but make sure you have your friends around you, dont hide yourself away because you start to think more and the days go buy so slowly and you wonder if you will ever come out the other end. Find a hobby that you can do to pass the days away, get out the house and have a nice walk, the longer you stay in the house pondering on the "if's and buts" the longer the process will take. Best of all you can stay on here and chat with us all, nothing like PF company to make the day's feel better. Hope you feel better soon and yes time is a great healer. xxxxxx
     
  4. kaz_f

    kaz_f PetForums VIP

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    I went through this back in 2009 from a long-term relationship. What I did was:
    Joined an evening class
    Joined this forum!
    Ditched Facebook!
    Bought the camera I always wanted and got out to do more photography (something I didn't do so much of when I was in the relationship)
    Joined a book club (love reading)
    Started doing some volunteering work
    Visited places I always wanted to visit
    Threw myself into work
    Through this survival strategy I kept myself really busy, I met new people and I leant on my friends (and my silly ginger dog) :)

    I needed to keep busy as I have no family over here where I live, my family are 180 miles away. I thought that if I could get through the first six minths I would be a-ok and sure enough I was.
     
  5. bird

    bird PetForums VIP

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    Get all your mates together and go out and have a good old fashioned girly knees up. If your the one thats been left, you can always rely on your mates to rubbish him and make you feel better. Or if your not ready for that, just get your closest friend to drop round with a bottle and a take-a-way or choccie and sit and put the world to rights. ;) Allow yourself one or in extreme circumstances two nights of wailing and nashing of teeth, then do your best to maintain the, his loss, up yours I can do better mentality. :)

    The saying that time heals and eases it all is true. But personally I also believe that you should not waste your life wondering what ifs and buts. If there is something you cannot change (and where yourself is concerned you should never change for one person) have a think about it then move on. I'm not saying deliberatly forget, but do not focus on it.
     
  6. Merlin Birmingham

    Merlin Birmingham PetForums Senior

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    Great Im glad im doing the right things.

    I am a very positive person and never thing about the what ifs etc as to be quite frank i cant change what has happened or what will happen, Its over for a reason and very good reasons but you still cant change your feelings, and however much you know that you are not meant to be together it still hurts.

    I will continue to do what everyone has suggested, thanks guys.
     
  7. vickie1985

    vickie1985 PetForums VIP

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    do you have any hobbies? keep busy, but dont forget its normal to have low days where you just want to sulk and even cry!

    a good thing to do is to go out with some mates for a night out too....dont drink too much, just have a bloody good laugh with them and eye up some candy while your there. dont have to touch but its nice to have a good window shop sometimes :) other than that....time...you know the score :)

    chin up, big hugs! xx
     
  8. smudgiesmummy

    smudgiesmummy PetForums VIP

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    the worst thing you can do is mope around

    everyone deals with break ups in very different ways , i dont deal with break ups very well , and the last one well i dont want to go into it but i went through a very hard time, make sure you dont block your friends out, they are the ones that keep you going, keep yourself busy

    with me, as i dont talk about my feelings i took it out in poetry and my photography

    it does get easier, but u will have good and bad days
     
  9. Bellarina

    Bellarina PetForums Member

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    I am going through this at the moment myself and it's really tough. And to make things worse my ex has taken himself off to Bali for a month to try and sort himself out.

    On the positive side of things I have gone from being the most dedicated couch potato to an exercise addict! I joined up to do the race for life so I'm running 4 times a week and swimming 3 times a week. No one can quite believe their eyes!

    It's so true that exercise releases all those feel good endorphines & it's fab at distracting yourself because I can't swim- breath and cry at the same time!:D
     
  10. Tanya1989

    Tanya1989 PetForums VIP

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    Cliche time, but it worked for me:
    Biggest bar of the most expensive chocolate I could find. Find a film out I KNEW would make me cry (Armageddon). Watched it, cried for several hours after until I'd knackered myself out from wailing, fell asleep on the sofa in tear stained clothing and snot rags all over the floor. Woke up like a new woman and haven't looked back since.

    Sometimes you just need to cry, for that release.
     
  11. Gratch

    Gratch PetForums VIP

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    I was distraught for 2 weeks, inconsolable. Then I started playing World of Warcraft and didn't spare him a thought :D

    Edit: starting gaming can help keep your mind off it but it's highly addictive, don't throw all of yourself into it
     
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