Welcome to PetForums

Join thousands of other pet owners and pet lovers on the UK's most popular and friendly pet community and discussion forum.

Sign Up

HELP! naughty neighbours "adopting" cats

Discussion in 'Cat Chat' started by 3muskateers, Jun 6, 2010.


  1. 3muskateers

    3muskateers PetForums Newbie

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2010
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hello there,

    Hope it was a pleasant weekend where you are.

    I'm wondering if anyone out there could provide some advice for me. We are having a little bit of a issue on our street and I'm not sure if I am over-reacting a touch (I don't think I am, but need a bit of a sense check).

    Over the past 2 months, one fairly new neighbour on our street has decided to take in (not one, but three) cats on our street. This neighbour is not a pet-owner, is married and has two children who are teenagers.

    Over the last few months, this neighbour and her family:
    - have had three neighbourhood cats in her house
    - have fed the cats
    - have had the cats stay overnight upstairs in her children's rooms (I only know this because I can see the cats sitting on the children's windows from our garden as the cats basque in the sun)

    Initially, this neighbour was hosting and feeding just one of our neighbour's cats, then she was hosting a second neighbour's cat (both of these two cats have urinary tract medical conditions, one is old and very, very week at the moment). The two owners of these two cats have individually put notes in this neighbour's post box, requesting that the cats not be fed due to their medical conditions.

    Most recently, the neighbour has started inviting our one-eyed cat into her house and feeding him. In addition to being fed, he has also been upstairs in her house ...(which was a complete surprise to me when I knocked on the neighbour's door at 11pm after calling for our cat for 20 minutes outside our windows - only to see the daughter grasping at our cat's legs as she grabbed him to bring him down her staircase). This left me shocked as our cat has weak hips requiring expensive medical attention and can't actually climb up or down stairs very well (and does not respond very well to being "grabbed").

    I'm not really sure what to do. A few weeks ago (before my cat was in her house), this neighbour and I did bump into each other one afternoon. During our chat, she mentioned that she didn't want to fall out with any of our other neighbours due to a cat issue. I thought that was innocent of her, but when I then found our cat in her house just a week or so later, I was a bit shocked to be honest. Sadly, I believe that she continues to have our cat in her house even though I have been very direct about saying that we are not open to "sharing" our cats in this way. I don't know if I should think that this neighbour is simply ignorant of pet care or, god forbid, just blindly inconsiderate.

    Any advice?

    I'm thinking that it might be best to invite her over for a cup of tea to talk through the medical issues that our cats have and to acknowledge that I understand she will do what she wants regardless of what I as a pet owner request. And with the latter in mind, it is important that she understand each of our cats particular medical and individual needs.

    Am I being a bit too protective? I don't feel like I am.

    Any advice?
     
  2. Aurelia

    Aurelia PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2010
    Messages:
    6,387
    Likes Received:
    404
    Apart from the obvious ... talking to her over a cup of tea, appeal to her better nature. I think the only other option you have is to keep your cat indoors. I don't think the police ca do anything, as presumably she lets them back out again after a while?

    Unless of course you call it animal cruelty if you make her aware of your cats injuries and she continues to grab its legs ....
     
  3. CarolineH

    CarolineH PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2009
    Messages:
    2,621
    Likes Received:
    180
    I have a neighbour like that. :( I tried keeping my cat in for a few weeks then allowing him out with a disc on that said 'Do not feed. Diabetic!' (he isn't really) to no avail. I tried to have civil words with the woman, she just paid lip service and carried on.

    My cat is now 17 and he still goes there for his meals. :cool: He always comes back here though which is my main concern. Most local cats end up going to her place for food and I know she ended up with another neighbours cat permanantly. I won't have anymore cats when Ziggy is gone because of her - just not worth the hassle. There just does not seem like there is anything you can do about people like that? :confused:
     
  4. tafwoc

    tafwoc PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2009
    Messages:
    2,767
    Likes Received:
    39
    I have 2 neighbours like this, right next door to me. All 3 of my cats go around to theirs, and i hear them asking saying 'oh you poor things, haven't they fed you.' Yes we have, they are just pigs! Who are getting fat. :rolleyes:
    They still come back here to sleep, have seen one of them in their window before. We get on very well with our neighbours though.
     
  5. katie200

    katie200 PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    May 12, 2009
    Messages:
    16,075
    Likes Received:
    408
    my fkuffy used to go see a old neighbour on our street after she found him and she would feed him and he had stayed there and some times he would come home with out his colour and the next day i would find it in the letter box so i talked to her when walking the dog and said she can stroke him in her garden but not feed him because it made him ill and not to take his colour off and after that she would stroke him in her garden as he went to see her but stoped feeding him and takeing him in just remind her that cats ant play things and your cats have a home with you and if her kids want a pet get one of there own be nice about it tell her no matter what your cat ant to be feed or takeing in to her house
     
  6. dee o gee

    dee o gee PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    May 22, 2010
    Messages:
    1,567
    Likes Received:
    18
    Have never been in this situation so can't offer any advice. All I can say is I don't think its unreasonable to be annoyed about this, Id be furious with them, cats are not toys that can be shared and given back when they get bored.

    Years ago I had a neighbour that had cats that I used to bring into the house and feed, but I was very friendly with this neighbour and the only reason I done it was because these cats were just fed and then thrown outside to roam around, used to keep them inside every halloween night and allowed them to sleep in front of the radiator most evenings, neighbour was well aware of it and most likely didn't care as it meant she had to spend less money on feeding them. When they were moving to a new area I offered to 'adopt' them but of course she didn't agree, both cats went missing within months presumed dead. :( But of course the kids got new kittens soon after. :rolleyes: They done the same thing with the new lab puppy and wondered why the had to rehome him because he was 'untrainable', they now want a gsd puppy because they are better behaved. :mad:
     
  7. lizward

    lizward PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Feb 29, 2008
    Messages:
    6,023
    Likes Received:
    182
    I'm afraid my parents do this frequently, at one stage they had four cats who had adopted them, plus what they called "the night shift" who polished off whatever luxuries the "adopted" cats thoguht were beneath them. At one stage the real owners took their cat home since my paretns did have the decency to advertise that they had found him, and he reappeared at my parents' house 30 minutes later. However I have also been on the other end of this and know the distress it can cause when someone takes in a supposedly stray cat which has a perfectly good home and loving owners who are desperately searching for it.

    What is really annoying about it is that there are plenty of rescues overflowing with cats looking for wonderful homes. But my father is of a generation that refuses to pay for a cat. He's happy to fork out a £1000 vet bill but he wobn't pay to get the cat. And what is even more annoying to me is that when I have had a cat I need a new home for, my parents have never, not even once, been willing to take on my cat. But I know very well that if my cats lived next door they'd move in there in a matter of hours if they had the chance!

    Liz
     
  8. billyboysmammy

    billyboysmammy PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2009
    Messages:
    4,225
    Likes Received:
    269
    I think youve had some excellent advice so far, and no i dont think your overreacting.

    Its important to remember that there are 2 sides to the story though. If your cat was genuinely lost and some kind person had been feeding her for you... you would be very grateful. On the other hand, someone deliberatly "taking" a cat is another thing entirely.


    I would be inclined to invite her for a cup of coffee, and then discuss exactly what the problems are. She needs to be aware of how much harm she could be causing to the cats with bladder and kidney problems, cats on medication, and especially the hip problems considering you have witnesssed her daughter grabbing the cat to prevent it escaping. Explain just how much pain the cats are in due to her food/handling, just how much the vets bills are mounting up and how much you need her help so this doesnt happen again. With any luck she will see sense.

    I would also offer to help her find a cat for herself. She may not wish to go to rescue (althouth offer to go with her), but there are always cats free to good homes in the local papers. Maybe not kittens, but certainly older kittens and adults.

    If all that fails, I can only think of 3 feasable soloutions.

    1 - neighbours cat proof their gardens so their own cats cat roam.
    2 - her immediate neighbours catproof all the adjoining fencing to her gardens (so cats cant get into her garden) - but that wont protect them from the front door
    3 - microchip all cats, and then threaten to call the police for theft (i doubt the police would do much tbh, but the threat might work)

    those are last resorts though, i would try talking to her again and again first. xxx
     
  9. hobbs2004

    hobbs2004 PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2010
    Messages:
    10,706
    Likes Received:
    409
    Agree with you and the others - you are certainly not over-reacting!

    Only like to throw one more idea into the mix. When you talk to her over tea and a bicci, it may be worthwhile pointing out a few cat shelters in the area where they can get their own cats from - there are so many cats that are currently in rescues that need a good home.

    Maybe she can take one or two or three of these in and leave the neighbourhood ones alone :D

    Edit: Lol BBMammys has beaten me to my thoughts! Well, as we say at home doppelt haelt besser - things said/done twice stick better or something to that effect lol
     
  10. Montys_Mum

    Montys_Mum PetForums Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2010
    Messages:
    139
    Likes Received:
    0
    Oh god how awful! I'd hate anyone to take my cats in and especially hurt them in such a way (pulling legs).
    We are lucky, our neighbours also have cats and sometimes 1 of theirs pops into our conservatory (that's were our cats are fed), but is often chased off by one of our own. And the same happens vice versa.
    But to deliberately take in someone else's pet, knowing that they don't want them too, knowing it isn't a stray! I'd be angry and worried.
    Contact the police, maybe if one of them was willing to come over and have a word with your neighbour that might help. Alternatively, how about the RSPCA? If you report how your neighbour treats your cats etc they might well be happy to step in. And a visit from an official might just wake your neighbour up.
    Good luck.
     
  11. NEW2CATS

    NEW2CATS PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2009
    Messages:
    1,071
    Likes Received:
    8
    i would be annoyed too op

    if i were you i would have a word over a cuppa and if it looks like you are not getting anywhere say to her if you want to share my cat you have to share the vet bills too - am sure that would put her off!!
     
  12. lillylove

    lillylove PetForums Member

    Joined:
    May 4, 2010
    Messages:
    179
    Likes Received:
    2
    people like this don't want their own cats though - it would mean they would have to fork out vets bills and cattery's when they want to go on holiday!

    We had issues with a girl who lived near us, not quite the same
    A cat was being badly neglected by other neighbours for about 2 years, and the cat chose to basically live with us - and we paid its vets bills.
    When the people moved a few miles away, they already had 2 kids and a puppy by then and took the cat.:confused::
    2 years later, we come home to find said cat sitting on our garden wall :eek:
    It appears that the cat (purdy) had been hanging around our area for some time, and a nearby neighbour had decided to feed her. Purdy would take the food and have a little cuddle, but then would rip up her flat to get back over our house. The girl took to shutting the cat inside the flat as to not lose her to us, but the cat was very unhappy and would escape. The cat didn't belong to anyone so we didn't have a claim over her, but the number of times the girl came knocking on our door demanding her cat back regardless of where the cat wanted to actually live. We would give it back as she wasn't neglecting it, but it would just come straight back! It took her quite some time to give up on the cat as she wasn't getting anywhere with trying to make her stay in her flat.
     
  13. Argent

    Argent PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2009
    Messages:
    4,254
    Likes Received:
    499
    I'd be furious OP, this is why I want my future cat to live as an indoor cat. I'm actually fuming for you right now >.< I've had to stand by and watch our next door neighbours kids man-handle my rats, I know that feeling.
    Definately have another talk with them and make your intentions clear.
     
  14. hobbs2004

    hobbs2004 PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2010
    Messages:
    10,706
    Likes Received:
    409
    I think this is putting a bit strongly - we don't know this particular family, do we?

    Why are people so radical in their views (calling in the police, the rspca). Yes, what she is doing is not great and should be discouraged but what is wrong with just having a chat with her first and politely clarifying things?
     
  15. billyboysmammy

    billyboysmammy PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2009
    Messages:
    4,225
    Likes Received:
    269

    I have to say my suggestion was put forward as a last resort! I thought i made that clear on my post.

    Its not time for all out war yet, now is the time for the nice approach and to keep going until they see sense.

    However, if you have played every nice card under the sun, blocked cats entrance to her garden and she is still going against your wishes, then the threat is there to be used... but only when every other avenue has been explored and exhausted!
     
  16. Ally-Kats

    Ally-Kats PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2009
    Messages:
    2,476
    Likes Received:
    17
    I have been on the receiving end of unwanted attention from a neighbours kitten.Her cat used to come in through the cat flap which I then locked.However if the house door was opened he would literally fly in from wherever he had been hiding,Scamp would grumble at him but he took no notice.He used to eat Scamps food, lie in his basket and generally make a nuisance of himself.We tried everything to discourage him but he took no notice.Our neighbour was out all day and the cat had no access to the house so when it was cold we used to find him curled up in our porch.He was well fed and looked after by his owner but he just liked our house too. Eventually she gave the cat to a friend of hers and that solved our problem:)Although we do miss the little rascal. But I would never take someone elses cat in or feed it as this would encourage it. My neighbour was fine with the knowledge that he sneaked in to our house,I lost count of the times I had to put him outside only to find he had run around to the other side of the house and got in if the door or window was open.Hope your neighbour listens to you and leaves the cat outside and stops feeding it.Goodluck:)
     
  17. Tje

    Tje Banned

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2010
    Messages:
    3,404
    Likes Received:
    203
    There’s a similar situation ongoing in my street at the moment (well actually my street is where the cat’s owner lives, and the street around the corner is where the woman who feeds this cat lives). Initially I was in support of the cats owners, the woman around the corner shouldn’t feed their cat when they’ve politely asked her not to, shouldn’t let her inside her home when they’ve politely asked her not to, and so on. However after speaking to the woman around the corner.. it’s not as clear cut as I first thought. We had a terribly harsh winter and this cat was outside every night. This is when she started feeding and letting the cat inside. At that time she had no idea if the cat even had an owner. Now the rules have changed (so to speak) but the cat doesn’t really know or understand the new rules and will howl for an hour long on the outside windowsill of her kitchen, or sit howling at her front door. If she opens a door or a window the cat is inside like a shot. I’m not saying it would be impossible for her to refuse entry to this cat, but I can see her side of the story. It’s not always that clear cut. The cat obviously enjoys it’s lodging with the neighbour woman.

    I really think the only way to stop this is to cat-proof your own garden so your cat can’t get out.

    I think as cat owners we can’t have it both ways. When they poo or pee in our neighbours gardens we expect our neighbours to understand that cats are free spirits and we can’t train them where to poo or pee when they’re outdoors. Well isn’t it similar with feeding an outdoor cat? If the cat is happy to go back to someone’s home, and is happy to bed fed and watered and temporarily boarded there??? Isn’t this also because cats are free spirits???

    Of course I would hate my cats going into someone else’s home, or being fed without my knowledge, but that’s just one of the many reasons I have a cat run and a cat-proofed garden.

    Sometimes, to be able to have things our own way, the initiative has to begin with ourselves.
     
  18. 3muskateers

    3muskateers PetForums Newbie

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2010
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    THANK YOU for these informative and compassionate replies! You've shared great ideas and suggestions. I will make a few of the suggested contacts and feedback to this thread.

    (ps -- If you can believe it, this neighbour of ours is in the adjoining house in our semi-detached. They know all of our cats by name and also know all of our neighbours' cats by name. There isn't a question of any of the cats being strays. Such curious neighbourly behaviour. hmmmm)
     
  19. billyboysmammy

    billyboysmammy PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2009
    Messages:
    4,225
    Likes Received:
    269
    Perhaps she thinks she is being neighbourly and helpful!

    There is a little old lady in our area who feeds everything and anything. She always has a pocket of dog treats for any dogs she meets out on walks, never asks just gives. She puts out cat food by her doorstep every evening too. She thinks she is being nice, but as she doesnt ask it puts alot at risk.

    I know people have tried talking to her about it before, but being a senile old bat of about 90 she doesnt take a blind bit of notice. Those concerned could take things further, but threatening her really would get them nowhere. What she does do now though is give the dogs the treats she knows they can have, she must spend a fortune on all the different types. However the situation with the tin of cat food is still the same :(


    It could be worse though... imagine your neighbour hated cats and put out poison... it can and does happen.
     
  20. Leah84

    Leah84 PetForums VIP

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2009
    Messages:
    9,322
    Likes Received:
    104
    i don`t think you`re over reacting at all, i`d be furious if anyone took my cat in and probably wouldn`t have the patience to sit down for a chat with them. if the chat doesn`t work then maybe try ringing your local council and report her as a nuisance neighbour??

    my boy is an indoor cat purely cause i live next door to a woman who i`m positive just takes in every cat she finds and keeps them. we always have new ones appearing in our garden and i can smell her from a distance :scared:
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice