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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Am I crazy or is this kind of normal?! :confused:

It's the OH's weekend to have his son - Without going into it he's a pain in the arse and nothing short of the devil but I love my OH and guess I have to put up with it. I can put up with the mother ringing up 5 x a night and the fact he's a lying manipulative little... :eek: but I cannot stand him near my pets.

It's not that I think he's going to hurt them (because trust me myself and my animals would be GONE if that was the case) but he is quite annoying.. he always has to be near them and touching them and Button likes to do things on her terms so she ends up growling at him, biting him ect. But now we have Romeo my little baby :p who we rescued and he just won't leave him alone "Can I pick him up" "Can I do this?" - When we were eating he would say "NO ROMES NO" and then my OH would end up putting the cat away until we finished our tea when I KNOW for a fact - since I spend all day with the cat.. that he wasn't anywhere near the kid when he was eating :mad:

:mad2: Everytime I see him stroke my animals I want to scream..

Sorry I just needed to tell someone before I exploded lol :shocked:
 
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How old is the boy? He might be just excited that he doesn't have any pets at his house so is overcompensating with yours. :D

I used to be excited when I went to someone's house with pets as a child. It was fun to play with them, stroke them, take care of them etc. Maybe you could have a quiet word with your OH about it?
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
12

And yes he does know exactly what he's doing.. he's not just "being a kid"
if your in the same room he doesn't try to irritate them!

I don't think I've been unreasonable.. When we got Romeo and he first met him I set ground rules of "not picking him up" and "leaving him alone while he's quiet" all of which are adhered to until I leave the room for more than 5 minutes.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
How old is the boy? He might be just excited that he doesn't have any pets at his house so is overcompensating with yours. :D

I used to be excited when I went to someone's house with pets as a child. It was fun to play with them, stroke them, take care of them etc. Maybe you could have a quiet word with your OH about it?
He does have a cat at his own house.. and there have been a few incidents.. which is why I'm so funny about him being in my house with my cats.

There was an incident last year where his mother rang up and told us that he'd squeezed his cat Chloe so hard that she wet herself? :mad:
 

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I though if he was younger, he could help put food in the bowl, empty litter tray and other jobs,then it would be " that's all done, let's leave them alone now"thing.

I'm sure step kids are sent here to test us.
 
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After reading your replies I think he needs to learn some ground rules on behaving around the animals. I think it's probably best to speak to OH about it and let him talk to his son. As you said he's not being "just a kid" and knows full well what he's doing, I'm assuming he realises what he is doing? Maybe you could explain that it makes your animals uncomfortable if he's constantly with them 24/7, and that they need their space. I'm unsure what else to say really, but I hope it gets sorted out.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I don't think he's deliberately trying to annoy me in anyway at all.. he just can't help himself.. He doesn't behave at school (in fact he is a bully according to the school) he's just extremely disobedient.. and I know if he hurts or harasses my animals in anyway I will lose my temper. I just needed somewhere to vent :(
 

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Oh dear. He's not doing anything wrong really though is he? Just doing what children do. And I'm sorry, he's not daft he picks up on the fact that he annoys you and the way he is with your pets and he's doing what he does all the more. Children have more perception than what we give them credit for.

At the end of the day he is a child he's allowed to be annoying, and you are the grown up.

Maybe see things from his perspective. His Mum and Dad were together, now they are not. Now he has to share his Dad with someone else, and can't see his Dad as often as he'd like.

Maybe suggest to your OH that he take his son out for the day, just the two of them, then the poor lad gets to spend quality time with his Daddy without interference and you don't get annoyed.

Nip your resentment in the bud now before he hits teenage stage, then you will know what annoying is.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
After reading your replies I think he needs to learn some ground rules on behaving around the animals. I think it's probably best to speak to OH about it and let him talk to his son. As you said he's not being "just a kid" and knows full well what he's doing, I'm assuming he realises what he is doing? Maybe you could explain that it makes your animals uncomfortable if he's constantly with them 24/7, and that they need their space. I'm unsure what else to say really, but I hope it gets sorted out.
I have been speaking to the OH about it and he's "trying" to deal with it.. but the problem now is that he's only being annoying when the OH is out of the room and I'll say something like "Jack leave them alone while their quiet" and he'll either ignore me or wait till I've left the room and carry on.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Oh dear. He's not doing anything wrong really though is he? Just doing what children do. And I'm sorry, he's not daft he picks up on the fact that he annoys you and the way he is with your pets and he's doing what he does all the more. Children have more perception than what we give them credit for.

At the end of the day he is a child he's allowed to be annoying, and you are the grown up.

Maybe see things from his perspective. His Mum and Dad were together, now they are not. Now he has to share his Dad with someone else, and can't see his Dad as often as he'd like.

Maybe suggest to your OH that he take his son out for the day, just the two of them, then the poor lad gets to spend quality time with his Daddy without interference and you don't get annoyed.

Nip your resentment in the bud now before he hits teenage stage, then you will know what annoying is.
While I completely understand where your coming from... His own cat at home RUNS away from him when he walks in a room - He's squeezed his own cat so hard that its wet itself..

This kid bullies other kids at school, he hits his own mother , sells expensive presents that people have bought him to get money for sweets... I've watched him bare face lie even when you have proof he's lying he won't stop.

He also does spend time away with his child without me - every weekend!

His parents were never together it was a one night stand 12 years ago. It is THEIR (as in my OH aswell) fault he is the way he is.. I just don't want my animals harassed to death!
 

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Sorry, i have no advise with the animal thing - i do not leave my kids with animals but they are dogs, i know its harder with cats.

I just wanted to say, he sounds like a very troubled child and it sounds as though he needs help - it will only escalate as he gets older and his mum will have trouble then.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Sorry, i have no advise with the animal thing - i do not leave my kids with animals but they are dogs, i know its harder with cats.

I just wanted to say, he sounds like a very troubled child and it sounds as though he needs help - it will only escalate as he gets older and his mum will have trouble then.
My mum decided she wanted to keep Diesel (my dog) when I left home so fortunately I don't have to worry about him.. Although I think he'd make it quite clear all by himself that he wouldn't want to be bothered!

I agree which is why I have encouraged the OH to play a more active role with his son and stay in close contact with the school (which is something he never has done). I'm not an evil step mum or anything.. I help with homework , I've taught him how to use a computer ect.. I play the games consoles with him and show him a lot of positive attention.. So I AM trying and I'm trying not to be resentful.. My animals are like my babies I just get so frustrated.
 

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hey

this must be frustrating but maybe could u and your OH work with him with your pets and set rules and if there broken then he is punished? then he will hopefully learn how to be around animals.

every child has to be taught how to act with them,

i no wen i was a child id been punished if chased./ hurt an animal / etc

i dont mean punish as over the top re read this thinkin sounds bit extreme but like a firm telling off or take something of his away for a set time etc so he can learn that it has conciquences

hope it improves xxx
 

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Honestly, if this was the case with me and my partner I would flip.
I don't like ANY kids being around my animals (let alone touch them), not family or otherwise until they're AT LEAST teenagers or are just generally well behaved.

I've been to so many places in the time I've been with animals (since I was 2) and I was an overall quiet child from what I remember that understood the concept of animals from an early age.

So many families have 4+ screaming children constantly around, what I would call, fragile animals like Rabbits, Guinea Pigs, Cats etc. Animals that can even die from the shock of being mishandled.

I would say to your OH that the kid isn't allowed near the animals.
He's with you now and this child is/should be no concern of yours you shouldn't have to put up with the crap from his and some random woman's child.
If you want animals, un-harrassed in YOUR house then you have 100% right to say that the animals are YOUR children and he isn't allowed to touch them, interfere and if your OH isn't there with him 100% then the kid can't stay.

If I were in your situation and my animals had this kind of risk of them...all of my rage.

I do understand he's just trying to man up and be a good dad, but if this kid is from a one nighter then he should be moving on in his life with you, not bringing a kid from a past event and ruining the relationship he has with you.
 

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I do understand he's just trying to man up and be a good dad, but if this kid is from a one nighter then he should be moving on in his life with you, not bringing a kid from a past event and ruining the relationship he has with you.
Sorry but i cannot agree with this at all.

At least he is a part of his childs life - why on earth should he shy from his responsibilities?

You are talking about a childs life, not a pair of dirty underwear. Children come first, always.
 

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is it cats you have or other animals to?
how many do you have?
do you have a spare room/garage they can go in when he is around and you can't supervise so that they don't need to be harassed by him?
it sounds like he hasn't ever had any rules or boundries set :(
 
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Sorry but i cannot agree with this at all.

At least he is a part of his childs life - why on earth should he shy from his responsibilities?

You are talking about a childs life, not a pair of dirty underwear. Children come first, always.
I agree, just because a child is from a one night stand, doesn't mean you can ignore him/her. As Diesel says, at least this guy is a part of the child's life.
 

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Sorry but i cannot agree with this at all.

At least he is a part of his childs life - why on earth should he shy from his responsibilities?

You are talking about a childs life, not a pair of dirty underwear. Children come first, always.
have to agree with this. I have resepct for men that face up to thier responsibilities and don't just run away and hide from them. it takes two to tango and both parties, him and the mother, should take responsibility for the child they produced.
 
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