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Hello I'm new and in need of help PLEASE

Discussion in 'Cat Training and Behaviour' started by Felineflirt, Jul 13, 2009.


  1. Felineflirt

    Felineflirt PetForums Newbie

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    :crying:I have a year old girl and a 10 week old boy cat. I thought it would be nice for my older cat to have company of her own kind. I think I may be wrong. She has taken to only coming in to eat and won't let me pick her up anymore. She growls at the kitten and won't go in the conservatory or use her scratching post. I general she eats and runs outside. Will things get better or have I made a big mistake? I would love my older cat be like she was.
    Please help if you have been in this situation it's heartbreaking.
     
  2. raggs

    raggs PetForums VIP

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    Hi and welcome to the forum, it doesn't say in your post how long you have had the new kitten for ? if its very recent then you could be worring a bit too soon , it can take time to introduce a new kitten to an older cat, webrought in a new kitten 2 weeks ago and our oldest lad Oliver was fine from the first moment but its taken Charlie a bit longer to get used to the new arrival. one thing i can suggest is you could buy a product called FELIWAY which will help your older cat deal with the stress of it all, but get the plug in type from ebay and save yourself a few pounds, if you google the product FELIWAY it will give you all the info you need on this.Cats are normally very social animals and do like other cats for company, im sure within a week they will be buddies and eating and sleeping next to eachother. good luck with the new kitten...........CHRIS.
     
  3. Felineflirt

    Felineflirt PetForums Newbie

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    Hi thank you for the reply. We have had the kitten for just over a week now and he is very playful but is showing the older cat respect (in his own way). I'm just surprised that she is cross with me I am spending time stroking her when she eats because it's the only time she stays in now and I say no forcefully when she growls which she hates. But I thought I should set some kind of behaviour boundary. I did use Feliway when we went on holiday so i know it's good stuff but didn't think it would be any good in summer with windows and doors open so haven't bothered but I was thinking of getting the spray for using on things I may give it a go.

    Thank you again.:)
     
  4. bimbleweb

    bimbleweb PetForums Member

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    Every time I bring a kitten in to the cat family the adult cats hiss, spit and growl etc :rolleyes:

    It is heart breaking but time will sort it out. They will either start to get along or they will learn to tolerate each other. You could try feeding them at the same time, with their bowls on opposite sides of the room and gradually bring the food bowls closer together? I find that a catnip toy or two can help to bring them together too :D Good luck x
     
  5. Felineflirt

    Felineflirt PetForums Newbie

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    Thank you, I hope they do soon or I will have a few more grey hairs - mind you it will shave on highlights!:)
     
  6. raggs

    raggs PetForums VIP

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    HI, some cats will just take longer to get used to a new addition, something else we did with our boy Charlie was to have him in a room with the kitten running around and play with charlie for a few minutes every now and then he would forget the kitten was there then he would go back to having a growl and a hiss, I am convinced they can also sence that we are concerned for them too and found that sometimes just leaving them too themselves ( but just keep an eye on them ) can help, They will soon settle down and become pals im sure, it just may take a little longer. heres a pic of our kitten with Charlie after a week together, lol a few days before i took this pic Charlie was growling and hissing like a crazed banshie. good luck with them both and please keep us informed...........Chris....:)

    [​IMG]
     
  7. tylow

    tylow PetForums VIP

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    Our Ty was a nightmare with us initially when we brought Willow home :( He loved her from the start but we couldn't go near him for days. He stopped singing for months but things gradually settled. He's now back to his furry purry self :) Hope things settle down for you.
     
  8. Felineflirt

    Felineflirt PetForums Newbie

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    :) Thank you every one I will keep you all informed of the progress they make. It is very reassuring to know that other people have gone through the same kind of behaviour from their kitties and survived. I am probably worrying for nothing but I can't stand seeing them upset. Fingers crossed and all that.:001_rolleyes:
     
  9. Gemmie

    Gemmie PetForums Junior

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    Hi

    I'm so glad I saw your post! We have a 3 yr old girl called Minnie- she was a rescue cat and has always been quite a nervous and jumpy cat. We recently (2 days ago!) got a rescue kitten called Max as we too thought it wld be nice for Minnie to have some company during the days. However we have found the whole process very stressful and i don't know if im worrying over nothin or not. Minnie has been introduced to Max- we are keeping him in a seperate room for most of the day and introducing him to her for short periods of time. Minnie has done her share of hissing and groaning which we expected. What we didnt expect was for her to turn on us. Everytime we go to stroke her she hisses at us and she seems so petrified. She has spent most of the time tucked away in the study and has hardly eaten any of her food. She looks so sad and has completely changed.

    Im really starting to worry about her now and feel like we have been cruel to her for doing this. Is this what your experiencing and please let me know if it gets any better as I am too very very worried :(
     
  10. xkittenx

    xkittenx PetForums Junior

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    Hi there and welcome to the forum!

    Everytime i have introduced a new cat to my household, my girl (Jet) completely falls out with me too!

    She despises the new kitten at the same time but she is completely infuriated with me...but this will subside i am sure.

    As everybody else has told you, at times they can seem like the worst enemies then in the next instant become the best of friends, but in terms of your relationship with your girl she will 'forgive you'.

    My jet fell out with me for 3 weeks! taking to sleeping in the day on the wheelie bin, coming in to be fed, then coming in to sleep of a night and she too would growl at me etc when i would pick her up, but i just ensured that i gave them both equal attention and made some time for me and jet and she acts like the others have been with us from day one and is back to her normal self now!

    I know its hard, but give them time and i am sure things will work out in the end.

    Holly x
     
  11. spid

    spid PetForums VIP

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    You have to give it time - itwill all work out - imagine how you would feel if a new adult moved into te house without a by your leave - it wold take a while for your badly out of joint nose the become straightened again. Give it time and patience and love, it will get better.
     
  12. Milly22

    Milly22 PetForums VIP

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    [QUOTE
    [​IMG][/QUOTE]

    Oh my lord! How cute is that picture!
     
  13. Riverwish

    Riverwish PetForums Member

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    Yup Aber's mad at us too as we bought Oscar home on Saturday. He wouldn't let us touch him and went out practically all day Saturday. He didn't purr at all until last night when he cames to bed with us and purred all night :rolleyes:

    I'm getting a bit of a hiss out of him when he sees Oscar but they ate in the same room tonight and OH says they were sniffing each other earlier, think i'm just going to let them get on with it now (separated when we're not there and at night ofc)

    Aber will come round, he just needs a bit of time, it is reassuring reading that other people are having the same thing though :)
     
  14. Gemmie

    Gemmie PetForums Junior

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    Thanks for all your advice its made me feel much better! Minnie is getting a little back to her normal happy self now- she ventured more around the house last night and even came and curled up on me on bed :) She was a little better when Max was out too-she has started to ignore him more than constantly groan and hiss and they too ate in the same room for a short while (at opposite ends!) I hope this continues :)
     
  15. Misi

    Misi PetForums VIP

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    We were adopted by a 3 month old kitten (Bruno) at the end of February. After the loss of my cat Misi's lifelong companion, Tarka, last year, I thought this new addition would be ideal. Wrong!!! Five months on and she still isn't a happy puss. Granted, she's getting better and lately I've seen a return of the loving girl I was so very close to prior to Bruno's arrival. She seems to be immune to Feliway and I've been trying her on zylkène and it seems to have calmed her down a bit. It's a really slow slog, but I feel they'll get there in the end. She almost, almost licked him the other day! :001_tt2:

    She spends a lot of time outside at the moment, but that's normal for her in the summer. She's in for the evening and night and has started to come and have a cuddle with me again when Bruno's not around. I'm hoping that when the winter comes and we're all tucked up in front of the fire she'll relax even more. It breaks my heart to see her so sad and disturbed, but like I say, she's getting there slowly.
     
  16. Aah, I'd let them get used to each other first. We had the same problem awhile back when we got another girl cat. We were about to take Polly back because (we thought) Zuki 'hated' her, but it turned out fine in the end ^_^
     
  17. Milly22

    Milly22 PetForums VIP

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    Sorry I just realised I forgot to post my message yesterday. :blushing:

    We rescued a lovely girl, she was 4 years old. After a year or so we thought she may like a play-mate so she bought Josh, a white kitten, she detetsted him to start with but as the weeks went on and he got older she started to look out for him.

    She was always the "lead cat" but they used to play lovely together.

    I am sure it will all turn out fine. :)
     
  18. Felineflirt

    Felineflirt PetForums Newbie

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    Hi thank you for the message. Well progress is slow Evie is still growling at Simba and she is still not happy with me. She growled and hissed at me the other night because I thought it would be a good idea for them to swap rooms for the night so as to get used to each others smell, I tried to get her into Simbas room but she wouldn't go without a fight. She is allowing Simba to get a bit closer but still growls. But a break through today she went into the conservatory and had a sniff around and has come in today to rest. Maybe a small thing but I hope it is the start of something big, although I am still not happy that she was ready to attack me. She used to be the softest cutest cat ever. We will just have to stay positive.
     
  19. Gemmie

    Gemmie PetForums Junior

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    Hi just wondered how the new kittens/cats were getting on?

    I'm still really worried :( Minnie (older cat) seems more of her usual self-shes beginning to get back to her old ways. Although last night she went outside and I got really worried as she didnt come in till a lot later. She also is still VERY wary of Max. She will sit in the same room as him but will still hiss and groan when he walks past her or gets too close. Yesterday she swiped him cause he got too close and today she nearly went for him-running and hissing- and i had to grab Max. I have ended up putting Max back in his safe room as I'm so scared that he's going to get hurt by Minnie. My OH just says to leave them to it but I'm just really not sure if Minnie is ready to be on her own with Max-she still seems to hate him.

    I have bought some of the FELIWAY and plugged it in yesterday and have been swapping their blankets over so they can get used to each others smell. I just wondered if this is still all normal? Its almost been a week now and I just hate to see Minnie so mad and vicious and hate having to shut Max away. :confused: :(
     
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