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Having such an awful time atm

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by My lil Babies, Jan 5, 2012.

  1. I was thinking of deleting my account a short while ago but have decided to stay as I have made some good friends on here.

    A few weeks ago I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer - although I had symptoms months ago I was too scared to go to the docs about it. We have a strong family history of it and I had no doubt that it was Cancer but kept it to myself. I wish I did something sooner & its thanks to Eastenders Tanya that I decided to finally go.

    Only one week later I had a hospital appointment for an ultrascan and from there I immediatly was sent for a mammogram and straight down for a biopsy within an hour of each other. I have two invasive cancers. one 55mm which is pretty huge and one 15mm in the same breast which I was told just a week on from my biopsy. The day after being diognosed I was sent for a sentinal lymph node biopsy to see if it had spread to my lymph nodes in my armpit. they took 9 nodes and only one had cancer so they said that was good news.

    Today at 10am I have to go to have a PICC line fitted ready for Chemotherapy which starts on Friday:(. I am so scared. Scared im going to lose my hair and scared i'm going to be so helpless and that I probably wont have enough energy to walk my dogs. My husband can do that of course but I really enjoy walking the dogs for hours but I know thats not going to happen for a while.

    I have about 4 months of Chemo (6 sessions 3 weeks apart) and then in about 7 months time i'm likely to need a mastectomy. Because of the family history im also going to be tested to see if I have the inherited faulty breast cancer gene. If so then I am advised to consider a double mastectomy and may be able to have a implant reconstruction at the same time. TBH i'm more worrid about my hair which is silly really as hair grows back. I've chosen a really nice wig in case it happens and the wig is so realistic that nobody would be able to tell it was one unless I told them so thats one good thing I guess.

    Anyway I was going to leave but have decided to stay. I guess I was just having a few awful weeks and feeling sorry for myself. I'm feeling more positive now but just dreading the effects of the chemo.
    #1 My lil Babies, Jan 5, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 5, 2012
  2. katie200

    katie200 PetForums VIP

    May 12, 2009
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    oohhh hun ((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))) its gonna be okay you know were all here for ya and glad ya didnt leave its a hard thing to cope with but your a strong person and can do this and if ya loss ya hair it will grow back and im sure the dogs will be right there with ya in there own doggie ways loads of (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
  3. redroses2106

    redroses2106 PetForums VIP

    Aug 21, 2011
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    im really sorry to read this post. i dont really know what to say but did not want to read then run
    i wish you all the best for your treatment and hope you recover well
    please dont stress and worry over your hair, im sure you will still be just as beautiful without it, and you have a lovely wig on standby just incase. wigs are very convincing these days so nobody will even need to know as you said.
    take care of yourself and focus on getting better. whatever horrible effects the chemo has just remember its going to help you and try stay strong (easier said than done ofc)

    best wishes and again im very sorry for your situation. xx
  4. Thanks. The hard thing was telling the kids. I felt I needed to be honest with them even though they are young. 9 6 & 4. My eldest understands a bit better than the other two but I didn't want them to worry if my hair starts falling out & needed them to understand I might not be able to go out on bike rides at the weekends and can't go swimming (because of the PICC line) etc and that it will be Daddy taking them to do these things on his own rather than with me as well.

    We have also had to rehome Brook the gorgeous Rottie we rescued a few weeks back so im devestated about that as well as she was such a lovely dog with us but She attacked one of our cats and almost killed him and started to attack our other dogs as well so obviously couldn't keep her as the risk to our other pets was too high. Luckily one of our friends have agreed to take her on as an only pet so im comforted in the fact she has a good home and that I will still be able to see her from time to time and she is now looking fabulous and put on a healthy amount of weight. No longer skin and bones like when she first came to us.
  5. katie200

    katie200 PetForums VIP

    May 12, 2009
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    awww hun i bet that was hard but kids are strong there cope in there own ways and im sure your oh will do a fine job of bick ride till ya can go with them agan ((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))) awww at least you found brook a great home im sure she be happy you take care of ya self and dont for get how strong you are
  6. Tigerneko

    Tigerneko PetForums VIP

    Jan 2, 2009
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    I can't believe i've just read that! I am so, so sorry and just don't know what to say other than I hope you make a quick, strong recovery and that the chemo doesn't affect you as much as you think it will.

    Just think of your family (4 legged and 2!) and keep them close to you, you will need them and they will need you, let them see your emotions - don't 'hold it together' just for their sakes, you need to let it out. We are also here if you need to rant, cry, scream, laugh, anything - we are here for it all!

    Glad you have decided to stay, i'm sure you will find this place invaluable at times - there are plenty of people on here who have been through/closely experienced cancer (lets face it, who hasn't it affected at some point?!) and there will always be someone who can advise and support you, you will get no end of help from PF!

    Not too bad for someone who didn't know what to say :D here's hoping for a quick recovery and a strong fight - kick it's ass! you can do it :thumbup: xxx
  7. Malmum

    Malmum PetForums VIP

    Aug 1, 2010
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    Awe bless you ;) what a terrible time for you but keep your pecker up girl, the treatment for breast cancer is remarkable these days and when you meet other people in the same position as you you'll be amazed at how incredibly positive they are, they'll be an inspiration I'm sure. I have worked on the oncology ward in my local hospital and the patients have been wonderful, so happy and positive that I'm sure that's why we have such a high success rate with our patients ;)

    Not everyone loses their hair, it may thin a little and with some people that's all it does. Even if it does come out it soon starts growing back after the treatment is finished and if you have to wear your wig it won't be for long.

    I hope you meet lots of people in your situation as we find that sharing experiences helps patients no end, suddenly you don't feel so isolated. Am glad you stayed on here cos we'll all support you no end and will always be here to cheer you up or just listen to you if you want a good old moan, lol.

    Me and my daughters have seen great recoveries from breast and bowel cancer so don't let yourself get down. It'll be tough for a while but so worth it, you just wait and see. Lots of ((((hugs)))) from here. :)
    #7 Malmum, Jan 5, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2012
  8. dorrit

    dorrit PetForums VIP

    Sep 13, 2011
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    A place online to rant , cry and celebrate the little things that might get overlooked in R.L is a wonderful help when you are on a difficult journey..

    Im sure this will be difficult but with help , support and all the love you will be sure to receive from everyone around you, 2 and 4 legged Im sure you will come out the other side a stronger and more confident person..

    Remember, friends are like stars you cant always see them but they are always there..

    Good luck to you and as the others have said feel free to rant anytime you need..

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  9. swarthy

    swarthy PetForums VIP

    Apr 24, 2010
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    :( what a tough time you are having :(

    My sister had a mastectomy 5 years ago - she has never been fitter than she is now.

    Would the gene test be of benefit given your circumstances? they refused point blank to test me despite my family history - I've just gone through my third 'scare' in 5 years and still under the clinic's care at present.

    Do stick around - I've found the forums to be a massive help to me when times have been tough - and often it's easier to share your fears and worries with people you don't 'know'

    Will be thinking of you in the coming weeks and months and sending you lots of "no loss" hair vibes :D
  10. smudgiesmummy

    smudgiesmummy PetForums VIP

    Nov 21, 2009
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    (((((((((huge hugs))))))) for you , sending massive positive thoughts across your way xxxxx
  11. mstuarty

    mstuarty PetForums Newbie

    Jan 4, 2012
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    Sorry to hear that, I hope everythings works out for you :thumbup1:
  12. rona

    rona Still missing my boys

    Aug 18, 2011
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    I cannot imagine how you must feel.
    I went through preliminary tests and that was scary enough. To be diagnosed positive must be almost beyond what a human can cope with.
    I really don't know what to say, but when you are down and upset this place may be the place to come.
    Use PF and us for as much support as we can give
    tiggerthumper likes this.
  13. MoggyBaby

    MoggyBaby PetForums VIP

    Mar 8, 2011
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    Really, really sorry to read this news. :(

    Wishing you strength to find your way through this.

    Don't ever hesitate to write here on how you feel, or have a rant, because we will be here to support you and, very often, just writing down what you are going through takes a lot of pressure off and makes it easier.

    Big (((((((hugs))))))
  14. IndyGoJones

    IndyGoJones PetForums Member

    Dec 31, 2011
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    I'm so sorry to read your post.

    My father has cancer at the moment too, it's hard enough when a family member has it, let alone yourself.

    I know you don't really know me, but if you ever need to talk to someone I'm always listening :)

    Feel better soon :)
  15. suewhite

    suewhite PetForums VIP

    Oct 31, 2009
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    So sorry to hear your news I think it will help to stay on PF as you can say things maybe you would'nt to family.I am keeping everything crossed for you.Suexxxxxx
  16. Waterlily

    Waterlily Amused

    Apr 18, 2010
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    Im glad your staying, and all the best with your treatment xxx The amount of times Ive nearly left cos of been up and down is shameful lol, but in the end theres a lot of hidden support on this forum from lovely members :)
  17. malibu

    malibu Guest

    I'm so sorry hun, I hope the treatment goes well, and I'm thinking of you *hugs*
  18. snoopydo

    snoopydo PetForums VIP

    Jan 19, 2010
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    Thinking of you sending my love and postitive thoughts to you.
  19. tiggerthumper

    tiggerthumper PetForums VIP

    Apr 22, 2011
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    I am so sorry about your diagnosis, I hope your treatment goes well and wish you the strength to get through this terrible time xox
  20. PetloverJo

    PetloverJo PetForums VIP

    Nov 4, 2011
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    Well I really do not know what to type.

    My thoughts are with you and your family but you sound like a strong person and I know you will get through this.

    Losing your hair doesn't change the person you are inside and anybody that knows and cares about you won't be bothered about this anyway.

    Children are very resilient when adults don't know what to say, kids will say it for you anyway:) What they come out with will bring a smile to your face.

    Chemo drugs do not always have bad side effects anymore and if they do they have drugs to give you to make the side effects better. You must tell them how you are feeling so the nurses/doctors can help.

    My very best wishes to you, I know it's going to be hard, but keep battling and you will be able to enjoy all the things you enjoy again.

    Please keep us updated if you can. We'll be there to support you online.

    Much love

    Jo xxx
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