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Have I made a mistake?

Discussion in 'Cat Chat' started by Joesy, Mar 10, 2017.


  1. Joesy

    Joesy PetForums Newbie

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    Firstly, I have to say I love cats, I've had a cat or two for most of my life and have loved them to bits. BUT I've just adopted a beautiful little rescue cat and I'm wondering if I've done the right thing.

    Background info:
    My previous rescue cats, Smartie and Rolo died in 2014 and early 2015 respectively.. aged 15 and 16, after long and happy lives.
    I was widowed unexpectedly in July 2015 and have moved house and started to rebuild a new life. I work as a temp and have a good circle of friends and a very busy social life. I have always thought at some point I would like another cat but something had been holding me back.. 2 weeks ago I was introduced to a beautiful 2 year old rescue cat who is very small, quiet but friendly. I fell in love with her and without any more thought agreed to adopt her. After all I'd always had cats so thought it could only be a good thing......but

    Here's my dilemma, I am worrying now that I have made a mistake and am out and about too much, volunteering, working when I can, visiting friends and family and having friends to stay. I wonder if I'm being fair to her? Should I have waited, and if I had would I have thought it though more and realised that she would be alone too much and walked away. Previously my husband worked from home and so one or other of us was nearly always there. Oh dear, what to do?

    The cat rescue said they would take her back if for any reason it didn't work out and I know there were other people interested ( as she is a little timid, they wanted a quiet household with no small children or other pets )

    Any advice welcome.
     
  2. Shrike

    Shrike Brooke's faithful manservant

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    When I adopted Brooke I told them I worked full time and often went away for weekends. Not sure if the staff really did know which cats would be fine with that or if cats just adapt to the life they have. But Brooke is fine with my coming and going. Cats are by nature quite solitary and so long as there is stuff to amuse her she should be fine. Is she going to be an outdoor cat? If she is then she'll probably find plenty to amuse herself when you're out. If shes to be indoor then you'll have to work a bit harder to provide amusement for when you're not around.
     
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  3. Waterlily

    Waterlily Amused

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    What a shame you didnt think about it more before taking her. Poor things in need of something secure and committed.
     
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  4. Calvine

    Calvine PetForums VIP

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    Is there any reason you think it might not be working out...does she appear unhappy in some way or is she actually rather enjoying the quiet life that the rescue thought she needed?
     
    #4 Calvine, Mar 10, 2017
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2017
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  5. oliviarussian

    oliviarussian Meeoow!

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    I think it depends on the cat to be honest, is she an indoor only cat or indoor/outdoor? Some cats crave human company and attention whilst others seem quite happy pottering about amusing themselves!
     
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  6. Mirandashell

    Mirandashell Banned

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    Joesy, I think you need to take a clear-eyed look at the cat and work out if she looks unhappy. You not being around 24/7 may suit her down to the ground.

    But don't beat yourself up about it. The fact that you are thinking about how your cat feels shows you are a good owner who cares about the cat. All of us can act on impulse.
     
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  7. Bilai

    Bilai PetForums Senior

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  8. moggie14

    moggie14 PetForums VIP

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    I think that is totally unfair and unjustified :rolleyes: It sounds like OP is a regular person who works and has a social life. I think it's great she is getting out and about after being widowed, and unless the cat is showing signs of stress or being unhappy it sounds like a perfectly normal home life to me :)
     
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  9. Mirandashell

    Mirandashell Banned

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    I thought it was harsh as well
     
  10. Waterlily

    Waterlily Amused

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    My post was in regards to her possibly giving it back to the rescue, not if she kept it. If someone adopts a rescue they should way up the pros and cons BEFORE they take it home. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: ooh I can roll my eyes too :Hilarious
     
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  11. Joesy

    Joesy PetForums Newbie

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    Thank you everyone, food for thought.
     
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  12. Lilylass

    Lilylass PetForums VIP

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    There are very few homes where someone is around 24/7 or in many cases even 12 hours / day

    My cats spend the vast majority of time in 'their bedroom's' (they are separated as they fight sadly) BUT even when it's their 'out' time, they are quite often happy to be in there :)

    Some mornings / evenings I will have company - other days neither of them will be that bothered!


    Try to encourage her to play with you when you're there (if she doesn't already) and leave her some toys to amuse herself when you're not -

    If she seems happy, I really wouldn't worry
     
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  13. Bilai

    Bilai PetForums Senior

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    I presume OP did do this but fear, uncertainty and second thoughts can effect any of us.

    I agree that taking on a pet is a serious thing but I don't think it was fair to be so harsh.

    She is obviously thinking about the cat and its needs.
     
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  14. Waterlily

    Waterlily Amused

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    Thats amusing if you people think that was harsh. . Rescues are already in a lot of trauma and the last thing they need is to be adopted without a second thought. No excuses for that kind of carelessness. Its all good and dandy if shes keeping it. My original comment still stands though... anyone else that feels the need to say how harsh it was, get a backbone.
     
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  15. moggie14

    moggie14 PetForums VIP

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    No wonder new members don't stick around, with comments like yours.
    @Joesy I hope things work out, give it time. She is much better at home with you than in a rescue x
     
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  16. IndigoElectron

    IndigoElectron PetForums Junior

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    In response to the original question, we have just adopted a rescue cat and we both work (though I'm only part time). She has settled in really well and is thriving. She is always happy to see us but I don't think she's lonely.
     
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  17. Lilylass

    Lilylass PetForums VIP

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    I realise that you're just back after a considerable break - however, there's really no need to be out & out nasty to people who are simply asking for advice ...
     
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  18. 3dogs2cats

    3dogs2cats PetForums VIP

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    Ah mine can go anywhere they like in the house but so far today except for food demands their highnesses have not left the bedroom. Today is apparently a duvet day, in fact most days are duvet days Every time I go and look at them I get the `human go away, do not disturb, we will let you know when WE want something` look! .

    I agree with other posters it will depend on the personality of the cat, she may well enjoy quite time on her own.
     
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  19. Lilylass

    Lilylass PetForums VIP

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    I've realised I might not have worded my post very well :oops: as reading it back, it sounds like they're shut in their rooms most of the time - I was meaning that they choose to spend most of their time in there if that makes sense - sorry for any confusion

    Mia sometimes doesn't come out of her room for 2 or 3 days!
     
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  20. Orla

    Orla PetForums VIP

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    @Joesy I think if we are honest, most of us have thought at some time or another 'am I doing the right thing, is my animal happy?' It just shows you are a thoughtful person who cares about the wellbeing of your new kitty and doesn't want to make her unhappy. Although none of us can say for sure as we aren't there, she may well be quite happy with the arrangement. She is probably getting more good food, more fuss and more affection with you than she was at the rescue so unless she is actually showing any signs of distress or boredom, she is probably quite happy she now has a home of her own. I work full time and am back really late 2 days per week. My kitties are both total snuggle bugs when I am there in the evenings. That said, I'm currently off work on leave and are the cats making the most of me? Nope, one is outside and the other is asleep upstairs!
     
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