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Goodbye... But is it really?

Discussion in 'Rainbow Bridge' started by DeeDee16, Jul 6, 2009.


  1. DeeDee16

    DeeDee16 PetForums Newbie

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    I'm not sure if this is the right category because my puppy hasn't passed away, I'm being forced to give him away & its breaking my heart.

    I bought him about a week ago from the local pet shop - fell in love with him immediately!!! He's only 10 weeks & the funniest little guy ever :) My bf was keen at the time but he was adamant that he didn't want any of the responsibility but I was OK to handle it all on my own, in my eyes this puppy was worth every second of my time!! Just over a week has passed & my bf is not keen & sees him as a burden so we're arguing a lot. We've only just moved into our new flat & I understand what he is trying to say to me (I work full time, the puppy is very young & needs a lot of attention, etc) but it kills me at the same time because I know I can't have them both. So tomorrow whilst I'm away at work my bf will be handing over my pup to his close friend as he has jumped at the chance to have him. He has another dog of the same breed & I'm relieved to say that he is a great person. He has a nice family & someone will always be there with the puppy so he won't have to be alone much. His friend has told my bf that he will keep the same name & I can go visit whenever I want to but that would hurt me even more. I'd rather just keep well away as I've already spent two days crying. Just wanted to get this off my chest as I've got no one to confide in so sorry for rattling on...
     
  2. CreativeLC

    CreativeLC PetForums VIP

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    It sounds like you should have thought it over properly in the first place, instead of the poor puppy suffering all this upheaval.
    For you to post in an area made for people who are genuinely grieveing the loss of a much loved pet, is arrogant. As it is your fault that you will no longer have the puppy.
    Im sorry if this upsets you its just how i feel.
     
  3. ColliePower

    ColliePower PetForums Senior

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    Although I agree that maybe this shouldv'e been thought out a little more at the beginning, It sounds like you are doing the right thing for the pup and for that I applaud you because many wouldn't and dont.

    I know it's sad and you will shed many tears but whats best for ther dog has to be a priority, and if you physically cannot give him the attention and time he needs, you are doing the best thing, and I feel in time you'll realise this.

    I personally dont feel your arrogant at all, I feel you're in pain and needing to voice, and that's what this forum is for.

    So I wish you all the best and hope in the future when the time suits, you'll be in a better position to get a dog that you both know will be at the right time.

    Take care and look after yourself hun.

    lorraine x
     
  4. First I would like to say welcome to the forum! I would also like to say that by reading your post I can see how upset you are - but that said I do think that you are doing the best thing by this pup by handing him over to someone who can give him the time, love and training that he deserves, and that I hope for his sake this home will turn into that 'forever' home that imo every dog deserves!! Also with you working full time ethis would have more then likely to have caused problems in the future!

    Should be enuff said!! but I am also going to say, I do not like the sound of your BF too much! and wonder if he derserves the benifit of the doubt due to the fact that yuo may have just wanted this puppy more then him and so he maybe felt pushed into having something he didn't really want! Taking on the responsibility for a pup can be a big undertaking, and really needs full enthusiasm from BOTH sides! Should you ever be in this position again please besure - that whoever it may be with that you both feel the same and that both parties are willing to put in a lot of time and effort and maybe as long as 15 years putting considering any potential dog!

    I'll end with saying I really do feel very sorry for you but rest assured you have done the right thing in the long run for the dog! Fort hat I praise you!

    As for the BF!!! - only time will tell!
    regards
    DT
     
  5. CreativeLC

    CreativeLC PetForums VIP

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    I would just rather the Op had put this somewhere other than a place for greiveing people.
    I also meant to say in my reply that yes they are doing the right thing, even though the situation should never have happened.
     
  6. ColliePower

    ColliePower PetForums Senior

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    No it shouldn't have happened, but as it has, what you're doing now, is the BEST thing.....so looking from today onwards your puppy would thank you if he could for doing this.

    Well done hun, you take care and like DT said I praise you and hope in future your O/H wants the dog as much as you otherwise sadly that would not be fair on the next pup.

    All the best x
     
  7. Jazzy

    Jazzy PetForums VIP

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    I'm so sorry you have to rehome your puppy and can understand just how much you love him and don't want him to go.:sad: We have just rehomed a puppy much in the same situation as you. The people who had her were lovely people but they lived in a flat and worked full time although the lady was only working part time when she got the puppy, she said. So we now have the little bundle of mischief.:laugh:

    I hope you are able to have another dog one day when you are in a better position to.{{{{HUGS}}}}
     
  8. Tigerneko

    Tigerneko PetForums VIP

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    Sorry to hear you have to rehome your pup, and at least you have done the best thing for the welfare of the puppy, so well done for making such a hard decision.

    But next time, don't just fall for the cute puppy face.... you need to be totally sure you can give a puppy the time and attention it needs before you go out and buy one, they aren't the kind of thing you can just impulse buy :( they are living creatures.

    But again, I commend you for doing the best thing in a very difficult situation.
     
    1 person likes this.
  9. DeeDee16

    DeeDee16 PetForums Newbie

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    Thanks for all the comments. Firsly I'd like to apologise to CreativeLC as my intention was not to be rude or insensitive towards those who have gone through the death of their pet & I certainly didn't want to appear arrogant by posting my thread on this page but I wasn't sure where to place it. Sorry to all those who feel the same way. My puppy may be alive & well (thankfully) but that doesn't make me feel any better about the whole situation. He was taken away from me last night and re-homed and my heart feels like its in pieces so if that's not considered 'grieving' then I don't know what is?

    I understand that he's gone to a loving family who will take good care of him and they've even told me I can see him whenever I want but I've declined the offer as I think it'd be too hard & I just need to let go & get on with my life. It was so painful to let him go last night & I just feel numb & empty today. I'm sat at work, typing away & just letting tears fall on my keyboard. I've got a dozen photos on my mobile & just flicking through them is unbearable. Most of my friends don't have any pets & they just don't understand what I'm feeling so I thought that posting on this forum would bring the kind of closure that I so desperately need.

    As for my bf, he feels bad enough but I can't blame him when he has been entirely honest with me. It didn't work out & I can't point the finger of blame anywhere or else it'd ruin our relationship. Its like my mother told me yesterday afternoon, he's not a bad man & he loves you very much but unfortunately he's just not an animal lover & you have to deal with that. Harsh words but she's right. Deep down I know that I've made the right decision to let him go & in time I might just believe that & not sob at the thought.
     
  10. CreativeLC

    CreativeLC PetForums VIP

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    As i said i was a bit harsh but i felt upset after genuinely losing my pets.
    I do think you have done the right thing for the pup. Maybe sometime in the future things will be different and you will be able to get pets.
    The loss you feel will get less and less over time. Over one year on im still mourning the loss of my rabbit who died suddenly(its just that i never got to say goodbye), but i feel like i want to remember the good times and not her death.
    I also lost my beloved dog early this year, after a long battle with cancer i still cry just thinking about her.
    It will get easier, just try not to blame yourself.
     
    #10 CreativeLC, Jul 7, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 7, 2009
  11. haeveymolly

    haeveymolly PetForums VIP

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    So sorry it hasnt worked out and that you have found a good home for your pup.
    There has been a few threads lately about couples not agreeing on sharing ownership of a pup/dog and i think its so important that both partys want them its bound to cause conflict if not dogs and especially puppied take a lot of time/care, dogs sense conflict, atmospheres and animosity its isnt fair thay deserve and need a loving stable home.
     
  12. borderterriers

    borderterriers PetForums Newbie

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    I feel for you having to give up your pup but I also agree that maybe next time you will think it through more carefully as owning a puppy/dog is a big responsibility. I wish all pet shops selling puppies were closed down as they encourage people to buy cute little puppies on a whim without thinking it through properly. If in the future you decide to buy another puppy I would suggest that you contact as many good breeders as possible and discuss why you want a puppy a good breeder will ask all the relevant questions and make sure that you are in a position to look after a puppy properly, if they don't think you would make a good owner for their puppy they will probably not let you have one, which should make you think if you are actually ready to own one.. A lot of puppies that are sold in pet shops come from puppy farms and unscrupulous breeders that don't care where the puppy ends up and only care about getting the money. So always think about where the puppy comes from and always ask to see both parents. That said I hope you have learned a lesson from this sad situation and don't beat yourself up too much, at least you have done the right thing in making sure the puppy has a good and hopefully forever home. And also don't forget the rescue centres there are so many unwanted dogs looking for homes Its an absolute sin.


    In the eyes of a well loved dog, life is just perfect.
     
  13. danielled

    danielled Guest

    Are you ok? I just read a reply someone sent to you and what they said really annoyed me. They said it's your own fault but it's not your fault. You wanted to give a puppy a good home which makes you a very kind caring person. Pm me if you want to talk to me. I'm here for you I promise. I've got two dogs called Chance and Dixie. Feel free to pm me. You did the right thing coming here to talk about it. You weren't to know this would happen so don't blame yourself.
    take care. Pm me anytime. I will reply.
    Danielle.
     
  14. danielled

    danielled Guest

    Cut the poor owner some slack. You know what I always say. Never blame the owner. People come on here for support. I understand this is how you feel but all I ask is that you offer some support.
    Danielle.:eek:hmy:
     
  15. Patterdale_lover

    Patterdale_lover PetForums VIP

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    Never blame the owner? Most animals problems are because of the owner.
     
  16. CreativeLC

    CreativeLC PetForums VIP

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    This was a couple of weeks ago, i said my piece then. I still feel the same now, it shouldn't have been posted in this section, they should never have got a puppy without thinking about it etc. etc.
     
  17. xXhayleyroxX

    xXhayleyroxX PetForums Senior

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    i feel for you, i'd choose the dog. Any man who valued himself ov er the puppy would have to go.
     
  18. Jazzy

    Jazzy PetForums VIP

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    Yes I agree.:)
     
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