[tinaK]

I've not been feeling too great mental health wise over the last week, so it's probably got a bearing on the way I'm feeling.

I'm getting really hung up about whether the girls are happy/well looked after. Like for example - I've taken to timing our walks, and only coming home if they've had at least an hour on each walk.

I worry that they're not getting all they need.

I look at them and think are they happy? Do they feel loved and safe with me? It's all doing my head in

 

[catz4m8z]

Sorry your not feeling so great at the moment. What you are feeling is totally normal though, we all wonder at times if we are doing the best for our dogs. I vary between 'did I walk them enough?' and 'did I walk them too far?' quite often! Plus very few of us think we are the absolute perfect owners for our dogs...thing is though that your dogs will love you no matter what. You and their life is perfect in their eyes. Its part of what makes a dog such a superior life form!

 

[GingerRogers]

I am sure they are happy, you feed them, walk them, and definitely love them and thats mostly all dogs need.

I know what you mean though, don't go beating yourself up or insisting on exactly a certain length of walk etc or you will drive yourself completely round the bend.

 

[tinaK]

but that's what worries me - they would love me whatever, and what if I am getting it all wrong

 

[catz4m8z]

they would love me whatever, and what if I am getting it all wrong

are they happy and healthy?? coz thats all you need to worry about TBH.
Im sure they would be happier with their own private beach and fillet steak but then I would be happier if I won the lottery! Its horrible when you get stuck in a worry loop but you just need to tell yourself you are doing a good job. (I know its difficult, Im a massive worrier too!)

 

[[email protected]]

Cloversmum, how can you give yourself a hard time???!!!!! With everything you put up on this forum its clear to all of us that you do your best for your dogs and that you have a mutual respect and love thing going both ways! We all have moments of doubt, sometimes I look at my old man (dog!) and think I may have walked him too far when he's snoozing flat out on the settee and then other times I look at the youngster and wonder if I havent walked her enough, particularly over the last few days as had tummy op and been struggling to get out and about.

Dont beat yourself up, you do a great job!

 

[AmberNero]

I know that one! That thought is a right stubborn bugger. I've learnt to ignore it, and concentrate when I feel like that on the dogs body language- are they relaxed at home? are they happy on walks? Are they comfortable around me and my OH? Seeing the 'fact' of contentment in their body language calms me down when my brain gets wound up.

Can't tell you not to beat yourself up, because I do the same, but I can advise you to give that a go and see if it helps squish the negative thoughts for a while xxxxxx

Lots of hugs to you

 

[tinaK]

Thanks all . Just wish they could tell me they're happy and OK

 

[GingerRogers]

I'm a fine one for giving advice as I have literally just been having this convo with Mum .

She tells me I am doing a great job and Ginge is very happy, I say no she isn't she's stressed and she cant chase rabbits, she says don't be daft, she loves you, she gets lots of fuss and lovely long walks, she has a warm home, lovely food and an owner who is doing her best to make her feel safe. :rolleyes5:

Do you do these things for your dogs, are they pleased to see you, do they like their walks and eat their food, do they come for cuddles???

 

[LahLahsDogs]

I hear everything you're saying, and totally sympathise with it. I'm like you and have (and probably still do if i'm honest) suffer with depression and have days like this (today infact). I looked over at Rufus and saw him sleeping in his bed while I was working and I thought "heck.. he's sleeping.. I could be out doing something nice with him if I wasn't working all hours." But then, I snap out of it and think "No, he's just having a nap as he's tired from the walk we had earlier, and he's happily safe and warm in his bed. He's well looked after, well fed, has everything he needs, plenty of exercise and most of all he's loved, and appriciated." I'm sure you could say just the same for your girls

When you think these things you just need to stop and gather your thoughts. These thoughts are not always correct and it's just a little imbalance that can be fixed. You need to stop and take a good look at how things actually are and remind yourself what you do for your dogs and how much you love and care for them. You'll soon realise that your negative thoughts are just little blips of doubt that everyone with depression gets.

It's difficult, but just try and enjoy your dogs... the more you enjoy your time with them, the more they'll help you back on your feet and back to health

 

[astara]

dear cloversmum, please try not do this to urself we all know hows much you love for dogs and i preety sure they love you unconditionally afew year ago i had bad depression it afected me alot emotionally i was up and down crying alot my husband and my son who was 3 at the time would come and wipe my tears from my eyes and hug me for the longest time and all the while i wud be wondering wot affect this wud have on them i had no engery was tired and other stuff eventully i went and sort help and we all together got thru it we are all in such a good place my husband and children are happy i am happy my dogs are happy we all have moment where we fret are fearful etc but to come out the otherside with an unbreakable bond is such a amazing feeling u will come out stronger dont fret i sure ur a amazing woman and most likely alot stonger then u think

 

[Bagrat]

Thanks all . Just wish they could tell me they're happy and OK

Maybe they can't, but you'd soon know if they were unhappy. I'm not the best to advise about the futility of anxiety as I was awake every hour last night and wide awake from 4am just because I was concerned about Jackson and did he enjoy walks if they were so stressful for him (oh and me too!). He also shivers a lot when I can't see anything for him to stress about.

All I can say is tomorrow is another probably much better, less worry filled day, if you and I both let it be. There are always days when you surprise yourself at how well you cope and others when you can't believe something small is enough to set you (us) off.
Big hugs.