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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
A man is 75 years old & loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, “Pick me up.” He looked around & couldn't see anyone. He thought he was *****ing when he heard the voice say again, “Pick me up.” He looked in the water & there, floating on the top, was a frog.

The man said, “Are you talking to me?”

The frog said, “Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious & jealous because I will be your bride!”

The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully & placed it in his front pocket.

The frog said, “What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride.”

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog & said, “Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog.”
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
One day, Jimmy Jones was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup.

Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin.

'Bubba, where'd you git that truck?!?'

'Tammie give it to me' Bubba replied.

'She give it to ya?

I know'd she wuz kinda sweet on ya, but a new truck?'

'Well, Jimmy Jones, let me tell you what happened. We wuz drivin' out on County Road 6, in the middle of nowheres. Tammie pulled off the road, put the truck in 4-wheel drive, and headed into the woods. She parked the truck, got out, threw off all her clothes and said, 'Bubba, take whatever you want. So I took the truck!'

'Bubba, yore a smart man! Them clothes woulda never fit you!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
An old nun who was living in a convent next to a construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways.

She decided she would take her lunch, sit with the workers and talk with them. She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over to the spot where the men were eating.

She walked up to the group and with a big smile said: "Do you men know Jesus Christ?"

They shook their heads and looked at each other very confused. One of the workers looked up into the steelworks and yelled out, "Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?"

One of the Ironworkers yelled down 'why'?

The worker yelled back, "Cos his wife's here with his lunch"
 

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An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
 
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