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Foster dog issues

Discussion in 'Dog Chat' started by XemzX, Jul 12, 2017.


  1. XemzX

    XemzX PetForums VIP

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    As some of you may be aware we were to foster a dog temporarily while is current foster owners were away. Well Toby the bull lurcher has been with us since yesterday afternoon and it has been a very stressful experience that I don't think is working out. :(
    It started when we first got home after a short walk (they were fine together on the walk) Toby kept trying to mount Jonesy all evening. We put this down to stress and separated them when he attempted it.
    He was restless on the first night and whined a lot which I can understand, being somewhere new.
    Come morning, none of us having much sleep, he continued to try mount Jonesy.
    The lady from the rescue rang to see how we were getting on and after I mentioned the humping and whining she gave some less than desirable advice - when he humps he is 'asserting dominance' apparently and we should yank his collar :rolleyes: and when he whines in the night throw stuff at him! I actually laughed at that last point, thinking she was joking but she was serious!
    We later tested to see how he is being left and so put him in his crate, as we were told he is crate trained, set up a camera and went in the garden for 15 mins. When we came back we found he had dented his crate badly. There was already a slight dent in the same spot which his fosterer had said was already there, though now I have my doubts. I feel he has some seperation issues, whenever we are in another room and he cannot get to us he whines loudly.
    After doing a bit of digging on the rescues facebook page there are description s of him needing to be an only dog and not being able to be left long, etc
    I understand that rescue work is hard and it is still early days but I'm upset and a bit angry that the rescue matched us up with a dog that cannot be left and is better as an only dog with us who have a dog and work part time. He is causing Jonesy a lot of stress and it is not practical to keep them separate all the time.
    I phoned the rescue and spoke to another lady thankfully who understands completely and we have to put Jonesy first and is going to look for another fostered.
    Sorry for the long rant. I just felt I had to get it all off my chest. It doesn't put me off fostering but the experience has put me off that rescue.
     
  2. ForestWomble

    ForestWomble PetForums VIP

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    Sorry to hear :(
     
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  3. lullabydream

    lullabydream PetForums VIP

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    To be honest, I don't blame you for being uneasy about the rescue.

    My friend has been involved in sighthound rescue for many years now and quite often she's had to quickly give up on a dog because she's not the right person for the dog due to her home, having dogs, cats and a child. Some she has no idea because they come straight from the pound, so it's a chance she takes. She does to as much precautions as necessary, so she can separate but it's not practical and not fair on the dog. However what she really detests is having to give up on a dog from a home that comes straight to her. The home who doesn't want the dog says yes this dog is fine etc, making s/he perfect and you can tell from the minute the dog walks in there is problems. Ok it's a new environment, but she's pretty used to seeing the signs of the ones that settle, the ones that may settle and the ones that people have probably lied about...if only they had been truthful...so surely this is the similar situation to yours. You cannot expect any fosterer to be able to put up with this problem and work on them, if already the environment they are completely wrong, as the suggestion on the 'rescue me' page suggests.

    I hope you do not give up hope fostering though, because am sure you would be excellent...and many fosterers will work simply because they help rescuers not only by giving time but will often use and pay for food out of their own pocket too. Not all but some do, it's like the saying 'Well' if am feeding mine, what's an extra mouth to feed'. It does add up. Just like most people work to own animals, so do fosterers.

    Humping is probably excitement...and would calm down... separation anxiety takes time and patience, which isn't going to help with you working.
     
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  4. XemzX

    XemzX PetForums VIP

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    Thank you for your detailed reply. It's comforting to know Im not being too picky or having high expectations, if your friend has encountered similar situations. I think your right in saying that he has been wrongly described by the rescue and fosters so that we would take him on. And like you say its not fair on him to be moved yet again when it could have prevented.
    I do agree with what you say about the humping being excitement as it has mellowed and he doesn't do it as often but the seperation anxiety is not something we can deal with. He was only to be with us two weeks but but in that time there will be times when he will be on his own for a few hours. He is currently still with us but I do hope the rescue can find a foster before Monday when my partner takes me to work.
    It doesn't put me off fostering but from this experience I have learnt to be more careful about what rescue and dog.
    Thanks again for your reply, it does bring comfort. :)
     
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  5. lullabydream

    lullabydream PetForums VIP

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    Hopefully your next foster dog gets on well with Jonesy...and can be left while you are at work. There maybe other problems you have to deal with...counter surfing, basic obedience, not used to walking on a lead to name a few which can keep you on your toes to say the least. However they are doable...

    Not all dogs not doing well in kennels will have separation anxiety.

    You may have to sleep downstairs to settle a new comer, but it wouldn't be for long. When I took on Maisie it took 2 nights just for reassurance, then a third because she came in to season, a few days later. However if it's becoming a long haul then something isn't right.

    Am sure you will find fostering absolutely wonderful eventually.
     
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  6. Meezey

    Meezey Slave to the Black & Tans and the Trundle Bugs.

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    Sometimes foster dogs slot right in sometimes they are a nightmare lol I learnt to be very exact in what I could take, at the time I already had 3 dogs. I couldn't take bitches or dogs who were not assessed with dogs and cats. Wouldn't take pound dogs, wouldn't take dogs who couldn't be left, I luckily only had 1 dog who stressed me out so much I had to ask them to take him back. While it's always great to help your own dog/s come first. All dogs take time to settle, some can be positively angelic for weeks then turn in to spawn of satan, others are shites from the get go but mellow with time but it has to be right by you and yours.

    Sometimes a perfect foster dog is an issue because it's easy to fail ;)
     
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  7. Lurcherlad

    Lurcherlad PetForums VIP

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    It's a shame your first foster isn't working out, but it sounds like the rescue have let you (and the dog) down a bit by not being completely honest about him.

    Hopefully he can be moved on to somewhere more suitable quickly.

    I'd be inclined to question the dubious advice being given out though as it won't help any dog to settle, let alone a sighthound who are often extremely sensitive - on top of all the stress of being in rescue/foster in the first place :(
     
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  8. XemzX

    XemzX PetForums VIP

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    Thanks for the reply. We were prepared for other issues like you described yet seperation anxiety is something we cannot deal with due to our lifestyle.
    We will certainly be trying again though with a different rescue.

    Thanks for the reply. It has been a learning curve and in future we will be quite specific about what we take. And your right Jonesy comes first. Whilst Toby has pretty much stopped the humping, his presence has had an affect on Jonesy and he does get stressed when Toby is near.
    From what we have seen so far, Toby is a very sweet natured dog, though like you say it's perhaps to early to tell.
    And yes a perfect foster is a worry. I do get attached very easily!

    We do feel massively let down by the rescue and I was very shocked about their advice - advice which came from one of the volunteers who claims to deal with problem dogs too!
    My OH wanted to question the advice but I wasn't brave enough! I do worry for Toby though that all this stress from moving about as well as any fosterer who follows this advice is only going to affect him more. He is a lovely dog that I feel is being let down. :(
     
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  9. DT

    DT Banned

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    You have to put you own dog first. But in the same vein the foster dog does need to be given time to adjust, suspect he is feeling pretty insecure that said it doesnt sound like a very good match to me.

    Hope all works out well for the rescue boy, perhaps he needs to start off somewhere where he is an only dog
     
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  10. Sled dog hotel

    Sled dog hotel PetForums VIP

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    Sorry to hear that your first foster hasn't been a complete success, but really if they know the dog has separation issues, and also doesn't do particularly well with other dogs, they really shouldn't have placed him with you if they know your not there most of the time and have another dog, so its not you or the dog that's at fault its the rescue and fostering co-ordinator. The advice you have been given to deal with the various problems you are having will make things worse not better, and all round its a pretty shabby set or circumstances they have put you under.

    If fostering is not working with this rescue, then there are loads more out there who will be better organised and will give proper back up if and when you need it, so I would perhaps explore those instead.
     
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  11. XemzX

    XemzX PetForums VIP

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    I do think your right. I did wonder if he has not had enough time to settle. Though I dont really want to chance it and attempt leaving him again on Monday when we will be out - something the rescue were aware of. He was a temporary foster while his current foster is away and will be back with them in a few weeks but I too hope he finds the right matched forever home.
     
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  12. XemzX

    XemzX PetForums VIP

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    We feel exactly the same. It wasn't a thought out match and felt rushed. And we agree that the advice will only make him worse. To be honest its not that we are not there most of the time. The longest we are ever out is around four hours. But our lifestyle and work patterns are not regular or routine.
    We will certainly try other rescues and already have a few we follow in mind and will be sure to ask alot of questions.
     
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  13. Sled dog hotel

    Sled dog hotel PetForums VIP

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    Dogs trust may be a good one to check out they sometimes look for fosters and they tend to be well organised too.
    https://www.dogstrust.org.uk/rehoming/fostering/

    Oldies club who rehome older dogs, usually are looking for foster homes for their oldies, and an oldie may be a bit easier to foster or a good starting point for fostering.
    http://www.oldies.org.uk/get/fostering-dogs
     
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  14. Lurcherlad

    Lurcherlad PetForums VIP

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    I'm dog sitting at the moment for Jack's BFF and if she had SA issues then it would just not be possible. Although I don't work, I still have to leave the house on occasion without a dog in tow - shopping, hospital etc. ;)

    The fact she is happy in her own home and can be left for a few hours has made it possible for me to do this. She wouldn't settle so well in my house. Jack and her get on beautifully and he is sleeping over with me at night with her - they have both had the morning alone in their own homes while I went shopping and Jack and I are currently keeping her company for a couple of hours, before we go back home for our tea, then come back for the evening/night. It's working well, so far! She's commandeered Jack's bed that I brought round for him though, but he's happy on the sofa with me! :)

    The rescue have to match dogs with suitable fosterers - so they fit into their life, otherwise it just can't work - for either party.

    Hopefully, next time they will make a better match ;)
     
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