*** Caution long story This would be my first post on any pet related forum ever and at this stage, I am inclined to write about it and share my story to gain some insight and hopefully find some answers that could bring me some closure on what I have been experiencing. So when it comes to pets of any sorts I have always tried to not hurt them intentionally whenever I come across one but never have I had the urge to adopt any pets ever. I have always not liked cats specifically my entire life maybe because cats were associated more with women ( I am a guy by the way ) and also have heard stories about their fur being dangerous to health and them being dirty. So never really were a fan of cats and if any cat came across my yard I would just chase them away. Back in 2014 I had just purchased a new house and did a lot of maintenance work before moving in with the family and I remember the very first day when we moved in on July 12, 2014, I found some old plant pots lying at the corner in the parking area in the morning and as I picked it up I found a small kitten lying there I reckon he might have been a day or two old cause he had very less hair on skin and also his eyes were closed. When I saw the kitten I know I wasn't happy at all but I thought maybe some cat had given birth here since the house was empty and she would be around and once she notices people here she would take her kitten with her so I left the pot there and continued on with the shifting work. Now later that evening at around 6:30 pm when everything was set I went back to the parking area and thought the kitten must have been moved by the mother by now and I should throw out the old pots and when I lifted the pot I found that kitten still laying there and to be honest I was pretty angry at the time thinking why the hell he is still there and what should I do to him and in my frustration what I did next was I took the small guy in my hands with the pot and placed the pot with him inside out in the open garden outside my house. I thought maybe if I put him out of the house in the open, his mother would find him and take him with her or maybe she is too afraid to come inside now that we are living in the house. So I took the kitten and placed him out in the small open garden beneath bushes and went back in. Now I didn't think much about it and had my dinner and then slept and later that night I woke up at around 2: am and noticed it was raining heavily outside and I just peeped out of my room window to see the rain and I looked at the outside area where I had put the cat and thought to myself its night time and I`m sure the cats mother must have taken him by now and went back to my bed. I think I tried to sleep for the next 10 15 minutes but something was not feeling right and I was constantly thinking that I should check on with the cat just to be sure as it was raining. So I went out and the house to the garden area and there laid the pot and inside was still the small guy now completely wet and making some noise and since the pot had a hole beneath the water didn't get collected in and could have drowned the small guy. So I took the guy in for the night thinking I would figure out what to do with him tomorrow. So I wrapped the small guy in a towel and put him inside one of my shoe box and was thinking maybe he would not make through the night since he's too small and all wet and I have brought him in that's the least I could have done and if he doesn't make it at least I won't feel the guilt of leaving him outside. So that is how I met Rocky my cat friend someone who changed my thinking around cats and gave me the most memorable 4 years of my life with him and left me too soon so unexpectedly. There is a lot to write further so I cover the remaining in the next update hopefully by weekend and through this story, I would like to share my time with him and inquire about some of the issues he faced before his death that I took lightly and now feel that I could have done something to save him..... Thank you UPDATE PART 2 ( Cont ) Though it might appear after taking him in it must have been the start of a loving relationship but when I think about those days and how heartless I had been to Rocky I just can't believe I did many of the things that I did to him to get rid of him. After taking him in for the night I didn't do much and just put the shoe box right outside my room and slept and to be honest when I took him in I did not have any feeling of attachment, or thought for a single second he would be staying with me or become part of the family so the idea was to give him away to someone in morning. So the next morning I woke up and did the morning routine and was about to leave for work that I remembered about the cat and quickly went to the box and saw the cat sleeping but still breathing and alive. I was aware the cat most likely hasn't been fed since yesterday since I never saw any cat around that could have been the mommy to feed him so I just took a small bowl and poured some milk in and put it next to the kitten in the shoe box and left for work. When I returned from work in the evening I checked on the cat and the milk was there and it looked like it hasn't been touched and how could it had been since he was just a few days old I guess he was unable to feed himself. So I Googled some shelter types to take him to thinking they would just accept the cat and look after it and my problem would be solved. I took the cat to a nearby place where they looked after stray animals and told them I found this cat and the guy there checked him and took some temperature and said he is doing okay and I should feed him and I said that is why I have brought him to them but they told me they are moving their facility out of city for more space and are currently not accepting new animals and recommended me another place to take him there out of town. So I took the cat back home and the next option was to call people who I recalled had cats or liked cats to see if they would take him in but to my dismay, no one came forward and I started blaming myself for putting me into this trouble. So thinking he might be with me for a few more days I started reading about cats and specifically how to feed a small one and one simple and a less troublesome method I found was feeding milk through a dropper which I bought from a pharmacy and started putting some milk drops into the cat's mouth. From here onwards days started passing by and every other day I would plan on getting rid of him one way or another and mostly nothing happened and we were stuck. During this time I must mention I never held the cat in my hands or let him inside the house mostly he stayed out of the house just out our main entrance door which had see-through glass and I could see the parking area and the cat from inside. Days turned into months and he was around 6-7 months old now and I would regularly feed the cat but never showed him any affection and I still remember to this very day something that makes me very sad now I think about it that whenever I would come home no matter what Rocky was doing he would come running and start rubbing against me and I would just shoo him and quickly get it and even if he tried to come in I would push him out and he would stay right next to the door looking in. Every now and then I would pass around the door inside of my house and Rocky would be sitting near the door and would immediately stand up when he saw me and I would just pass by quickly. No matter how many times I pass by the door he would be sitting right next to it and even a glimpse of me and he would stand on his feet happily and wait for some sort of acknowledgment and I would do nothing. I felt bad sometimes but my thinking at the time was I could still get rid of him or he would just go away himself since he never gets to go inside the house and stays out all day. During that time due to some work related issues, I had a bad temper and on top seeing the cat still around would sometimes make me angry especially when I would go in and out of the house and he would start to rub against me every chance he would get. On one evening I don't exactly remember the day I came home and had my phone and my laptop in hand and was going in and Rocky, as usual, came in between my legs and made me trip and the phone and my laptop fell out of my hands on to the floor and I became so angry at the cat that I kicked him pretty hard just out of sheer anger ( I shouldn't have done that but it is what I did, unfortunately ) and he ran away from me into the bushes. I did not see him that night near the door and I thought maybe he had run away because I had hit him. Next morning I had to leave pretty early and it was around 6 and I saw him sitting right next to the door again and as soon as he saw me he stood up and was looking right into the door at me. I was pretty surprised at this and thought now that I have beaten him he must be afraid of me and went outside the house and as soon as I stepped out Rocky stood up and as usual, came towards me and started rubbing against me and didn't show any hesitations, anger or fear and that right there was just too much even for me seeing how much this animal adored and cared for me and even after suffering neglect and abuse for so long the only thing he has to show me is love and affection. I sat down right next to him and the very first time I placed my hand on his head and took him inside for the very first time and gave him his morning meal. So Rocky was the one who showed me a different side of animals and changed my thinking about cats in general and showed how these small creatures have a much big heart than you would find in people around you. So I wasn't a nice person and not a kind one but it was Rocky who brought out a different side of me that I never knew existed. Sorry, I couldn't finish but certainly would in the next few days. Here is a picture of rocky all happy and healthy from last year.