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Few Little Jokes.....Not Rude I Promise.

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by xxwelshcrazyxx, May 31, 2010.


  1. xxwelshcrazyxx

    xxwelshcrazyxx PetForums VIP

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    An old couple go to the doctor. The old man goes first to have his physical. When the doctor is done with him, he sends the old man back into the waiting room and calls the old woman in.

    The doctor tells her, "Before we proceed with the examination, I would like to talk to you about your husband first."

    The old woman says, "Oh, no, it's his heart. I told him to lay off the eggs."

    The doctor says, "Well, I asked your husband how he is feeling and he told me he felt great. He said that when he got up to go to the bathroom, he opened the door and God turned the light on for him. When he was done, he would shut the door and God would turn the light out for him."

    The old woman responded, "Damn it, he's peeing in the fridge again!"

    ********************************************
    A lonely frog, desparate for any form of company telephoned the Psychic Hotline to find out what his future has in store.

    His Personal Psychic Advisor advises him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

    The frog is thrilled and says, "This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?"

    "No" says the psychic, "in a Biology class."
    ***********************************
    A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"

    And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?"

    The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit."

    ***********************************************
    A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says: "You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately."

    The guy says OK, and drives away.

    The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins, and they're all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands: "I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?"

    The guy replies: "I did . . . today I'm taking them to the beach!"
    ********************************
     
  2. kitkat1235

    kitkat1235 PetForums Newbie

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    lol ..........................................................
     
  3. Gobaith

    Gobaith PetForums VIP

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    cracking fellow cwmbranistan lol!
    Chloe x
     
  4. big_bear

    big_bear PetForums VIP

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    hahaha very gd :lol:
     
  5. bullet

    bullet PetForums VIP

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    You are a one!:thumbup:
     
  6. xxwelshcrazyxx

    xxwelshcrazyxx PetForums VIP

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    You should hear my best one's then, would make your hair curl lolol:lol:
     
  7. bullet

    bullet PetForums VIP

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    I can't get anything to curl yet:eek:
     
  8. Waterlily

    Waterlily Amused

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    nah immune to em :cool: :lol: :lol:
     
  9. xxwelshcrazyxx

    xxwelshcrazyxx PetForums VIP

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    You dont want it to curl you want it to stand up and stay up lolol ;)

    Adult thread where are you lolol
     
  10. Kip

    Kip PetForums Junior

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    A doctor saw a patient at his house who was rubbing a piece of wood with the side of his hand and hanging from the ceiling by his feet was another man. The doctor said to the first man "What are you doing" The man said "Can't you see what I'm doing. I'm sawing this piece of wood". The doctor then asked what about your friend hanging from the ceiling. The man said "Oh take no notice of him. He is crazy he thinks he's a light bulb" The doctor said "Don't you think we should get him down". The man said "What? do you expect me to work in the dark"
     
  11. bullet

    bullet PetForums VIP

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    :thumbup::lol:
     
  12. Jamie

    Jamie PetForums VIP

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    We need the 18+ section for the jokes I have ;)
     
  13. bullet

    bullet PetForums VIP

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    Whats happening about that? ive been saving myself:lol:
     
  14. Jamie

    Jamie PetForums VIP

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    Dunno! I'm bursting with 18+ rated jokes though!
     
  15. bullet

    bullet PetForums VIP

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    I'm just bursting:thumbup:
     
  16. Mollydoodle

    Mollydoodle Banned

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    :thumbup: very funny x
     
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