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Feeling desperate...

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Zayna, May 30, 2017.


  1. Zayna

    Zayna PetForums VIP

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    Stuck living with the in-laws at the moment while our flat sale proceeds. They agreed to put us up while we sorted ourselves out. They are so impossible to live with we are both on the verge of a breakdown. My father in law is just constantly ready to start a fight both of them are forever bitching about how much us living with them is costing them and putting them out. Constant guilt tripping. It was their idea to put us up in the first place though. All our funds are tied up in the flat so we have no option of going anywhere else until it sells and we don't know how long that will be. I just don't know how much more of this I can take.
     
  2. kimthecat

    kimthecat PetForums VIP

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    :( Im so sorry to hear this . they sound like toxic people.
    [​IMG]

    Are you able to offer any housekeeping to cover your food etc ?
     
  3. SusieRainbow

    SusieRainbow Administrator
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    Oh, that sounds unbearable ! I really hope you find an alternative soon.
    Did you find any oy with the live-in jobs you were looking into ?
     
  4. Zayna

    Zayna PetForums VIP

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    We can't give them any money at the moment as our funds are tied up in the flat. The agreement was that they would house and feed us while we sold our flat and paid off debts. Once that's clear we will start paying them rent while we stay there.
    We have looked into the live in jobs and made a few enquiries... It's just a bit difficult as we don't have an exchange date so can't commit to anything.
    Just hate being stuck in limbo land!!
     
  5. Zayna

    Zayna PetForums VIP

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    I don't know why my answer came out like a quote from Susie??
     
  6. Calvine

    Calvine PetForums VIP

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    @Zayna: So sorry; sounds ghastly horrific. Whom does it involve? You and a partner...you and partner and a child? I can tell you what tho'...I could never EVER, in a million years, have moved back in with my parents after I left home at 17 to go to university. My mother was a total control freak which was why I (unusually) did my 'A' levels a year early to escape her. She spent the next 20 years (+) pursuing and harassing me and telling me how she wished she had never had children!! So sorry to hear your story; I do wish you well. Xx
     
  7. Zayna

    Zayna PetForums VIP

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    It's just me and my husband. Honestly we vowed never to go back there, my husband had a dreadful upbringing. Financially it was our only option. I wish I could just pack my stuff and sod off but literally have no where to go and all my money is tied up in our flat. Horrible feeling.
     
  8. Lurcherlad

    Lurcherlad PetForums VIP

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    I've been thinking about you the last couple of days and wondering how things were going. Sorry to hear they're not great :(

    I know the flat is up for sale, but can't you stay there until completion? Even if you just camped there with a mattress on the floor to get some respite from your in-laws?

    Sorry if that's a stupid idea! ;)

    Did you do anything about the live-in job opportunities or residential statics for rent?
     
    LinznMilly, Calvine and Jobeth like this.
  9. Zayna

    Zayna PetForums VIP

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    Yeah we often go back just to camp out... Or we just stay in the car. We are in the house as little as possible but the shit vibes just seem to seep in.
    The residential caravans are a little out of budget for us but we are looking further up North in the hope it will be cheaper. Room share is the cheapest option but it's proving hard to find somewhere that will accept couples with zero credit score and one of whom does not work... We are still looking.
    We are also looking into the live in work option... Again it is something we are considering but concerned that my husbands problems will make it hard... As he can't just pick up a job like most people. Some great advice from everyone though. Lots to consider... Plus its nice to come on here and vent xx
     
    Lurcherlad likes this.
  10. Lexiedhb

    Lexiedhb Team Ginger!

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    Did you ever look into those house guardianship programmes I posted ages ago???
     
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  11. Lurcherlad

    Lurcherlad PetForums VIP

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    Is £100 a week too steep? I saw some for that in Essex.

    I picked up an old copy of The Lady mag in the docs this morning and there was a variety of jobs that might have beeen suitable, potentially. Keep checking their online ads cos these things crop up randomly.

    There were a couple of ads asking for couples - housekeeper or carer for wife and a day for garden/maintenance jobs for husband with a self contained cottage thrown in. Also Guardians required home and abroad.

    Your nursing experience would boost your chances, I'm sure ;)

    Look on edenprivatestaff.co.uk - lots of options.

    Google property guardianship Essex - interesting
     
    Calvine likes this.
  12. Zayna

    Zayna PetForums VIP

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    It's not really about what we can afford, I've also seen a few places that are within budget. The problem we have is getting a rental agreement in our circumstances. Zero credit score, one of us unemployed, one of us only works agency. I've emailed a local housing association to see if they can offer any advice.
    The live in job idea is excellent and I've sent my CV to a couple of places. Not heard anything back as yet but will see, in my covering letter I had to explain about my husbands anxiety and learning problems so hoping that won't be an issue. I've explained that if we are working together it's fine as I can support him but depends if the employer is cool with that... I'm sure one will be
     
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  13. Calvine

    Calvine PetForums VIP

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    I think one problem might be: if they think you have a place to stay (even tho' it's awful for you both) that they will just say you have a place to stay, a roof over your head, safe and warm, not sleeping on the streets etc. I think @Lurcherlad and @Lexiedhb have both offered good advice...tho' of course I do realise you are desperate and want out asap. I'm guessing your own parents can't help for a while otherwise you'd have gone there?
     
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  14. Lexiedhb

    Lexiedhb Team Ginger!

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    Local housing will do diddly squat whilst they still own a property. Have suggested the guardianship thing numerous times, but never get a response when I ask how it went..... Maybe I'm on ignore. I also gave absolutely no idea how easy or not it is to do, or if circumstances such as owning a property, mean you can't qualify to do it.....
     
    Calvine likes this.
  15. Zayna

    Zayna PetForums VIP

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    Hiya sorry not ignoring you at all. When I said I had had some excellent suggestions from everyone I was including you too. I have also looked into the guardianship thing, looks interesting but many pros and cons and not entirely sure how it works so am researching it. You are right though, while we still 'own' a property we cannot move forward and that's what I'm finding hard.
     
  16. Zayna

    Zayna PetForums VIP

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    And no unfortunately I can't go to my parents as we don't have that sort of relationship. They also have the view that as long as you have a roof over your head you can just get on with it
     
  17. Lexiedhb

    Lexiedhb Team Ginger!

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    Let's cross fingers for a quick sale then!!
     
  18. Zayna

    Zayna PetForums VIP

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    Tell me about it, it's torture having to wait. We have a buyer, it's just the solicitors doing their part now. The boring waiting bit.
     
  19. CuddleMonster

    CuddleMonster PetForums VIP

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    Have you looked at house sitting? Downside is that you are always on the move, but at least it provides a roof over your head away from the in laws!
     
  20. Zayna

    Zayna PetForums VIP

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    Yes we have actually, that's something we would be happy to do. Just have to make sure we always have somewhere to go. Also looking at working holidays where you work in return for bed and board, could be a way to escape the in-laws for a few weeks without laying out much money
     
    Lurcherlad likes this.
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