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English as official language of EU

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by michaelasi, May 26, 2010.


  1. michaelasi

    michaelasi PetForums VIP

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    The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
    English will be the official language of the European Union rather than
    German, which was the other possibility.

    As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
    ...English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-
    year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English" .

    In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
    make the sivil servants jump with joy.

    The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
    konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
    troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
    fotograf 20% shorter.

    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
    to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

    Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
    always ben a deterent to akurate speling..

    Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag
    is disgrasful and it should go away.

    By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
    with "z" and "w"with "v".

    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
    "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

    Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
    understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

    Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
    forst plas.

    If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.
     
    simplysardonic likes this.
  2. simplysardonic

    simplysardonic Moderator
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    Brilliant:D
    The first half reads almost like text speak
     
  3. michaelasi

    michaelasi PetForums VIP

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    and tzen ve becom ze german lol
     
  4. Mr Gizmo

    Mr Gizmo Body of a Buddah.

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    That is excellent, certainly made me laugh.
    I also took it serious to start with.:eek:
     
  5. michaelasi

    michaelasi PetForums VIP

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    I thought that myself :D
     
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