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doing the right thing?

Discussion in 'Dog Chat' started by corrine3, Aug 18, 2009.


  1. corrine3

    corrine3 PetForums VIP

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    wondered if i could have some opinions to see if i'm doing the right thing. as u may remember we lost fletcher due to an accident at the beginning of july, i have been devastated and miss him everyday. as u mite know he was only 7months.
    so here's the thing...my grans neighbours have a litter of cocker spaniels, 3weeks old just now. my OH is desperate for another dog, not to replace fletcher, but he misses having a dog around the house and i miss the fun and walks, we are both doggy people. we went up to see the pups last night, both mum and dad are there and i know the family well, there's a tri colour boy that we both would like.

    do u think i would be mad to go through the whole puppy thing again or do u think cos fletcher was still young i'll at least know what to expect! do u think its too soon after fletcher? i dont want judged and i miss fletcher so much it hurts but i know we will get another dog at some point.
     
  2. crazybones

    crazybones PetForums VIP

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    if u feel ready the in my opinion ur ready......
     
  3. dobermummy

    dobermummy Banned

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    I think if you feel ready then it's not to early.

    You aren't replacing Fletcher, just giving all your love to another dog who needs it.

    xx
     
  4. animallover111

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    I lost my old dog nearly 2 years ago....after 14 yrs.....though had another dog too...i always said i wouldnt get another.....but four months later we did.....though i still miss Jen i always will......if you feel its time to get another then go for it......:)
     
  5. EmzieAngel

    EmzieAngel PetForums VIP

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    I unfortunately had to have my Collie cross put down last year, and we got a new pup two days after. Some people may have said we rushed in to it, my dad said at first we should have waited a few weeks, but we were all completley miserable for 2 days. I didn't sleep for the first night at all. Once we got Bailey, my dad completley changed his mind.

    We think we did the right thing getting Bailey, although he'd never replace Harvey, he kept us occupied, gave us something to do to take our minds off our loss. I still think about Harvey every day, I always look at photos of him now and again.

    If you feel you are ready, then go for it. You know it will never replace Fletcher no matter what other people say.
    x
     
  6. ad_1980

    ad_1980 PetForums VIP

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    I said this to another poster yesterday regarding the same topic.

    I lost my cocker spaniel to kidney failure on Dec 2008 - two days after Xmas. Christmas will never be the same again now...:( But anyway, it took us two months before we all decided we were ready to let another bundle of joy into our lives. That and we needed to get Dante over his depression.

    So...my answer...if you are ready, there's no harm in getting another dog. Just don't let anyone tell you that he's a replacement to Fletcher because you know in your heart of hearts that nothing in the world could replace him. :)
     
  7. cavmad

    cavmad PetForums VIP

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    Everyone is different when imy first Leo was PTS aged 12yrs after a few days i was devasted but told her breeder and she had a bitch due to whelp and offered me one of those and although i missed Tasha it gave me somthing to concerntrate on and look forward to. As someone else said you will never replace your other dog and you will never forget him but you can love another one and give it a good home
     
  8. corrine3

    corrine3 PetForums VIP

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    thank you for all your kind replies. i feel mixed emotions, excited at the thought of a new puppy and sadness when i think of fletcher and how he should still be here. but i know nothing can bring him back and we have to move on. i think a new dog would make us deal with fletchers things and get ready for something new. i just feel a bit guilty about it all
     
  9. ad_1980

    ad_1980 PetForums VIP

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    Don't feel guilty. Its easier said than done but it doesn't help matters really. Be happy. Not saying you have to forget Fletcher because you dont - Woody has a huge place in my heart always and i never forget it. Even as i've grown a strong bond with Mika, i know i can never forget Woody. If i did it would be as good as replacing him which i never did. You know what I mean?

    Don't feel guilty into giving another dog a loving home :)
     
  10. corrine3

    corrine3 PetForums VIP

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    i know, i think i just loved/love fletcher so much, he was my boy and i'm worried i dont love this one as much, i suppose thats silly :eek:ut: cos i love all animals and how am i gonna resist a wee puppy, hard work but gorgeous and i now have the experience behind me which i didnt have with fletcher. maybe its like having a second child, u just cant imagine having something else that'll u'll love as much as ur first.:eek:
     
  11. Bobbie

    Bobbie PetForums VIP

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    I think it is fate that these pups have come along just when you need them so I would go for it because you may kick yourself later if you don't.
     
  12. xpalaboyx

    xpalaboyx PetForums VIP

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    You know in your heart that you are getting a new dog because you want a new one and not because you want to replace Fletcher. Take care of the new dog more than what you did with fletcher and make sure that you do some precautions so you wont loose the new dog.
     
  13. corrine3

    corrine3 PetForums VIP

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    i took the best care of fletcher, he ran into a park bench whilst out a walk with my brother and sister in law while we were on holiday, a freak tragic accident that was no ones fault. i dont think we can control every movement a dog makes, esp when u want them to run around and enjoy themselves. but thats not the issue, i know i did everything i could to look after him, he ment everything to me.
     
  14. Bobbie

    Bobbie PetForums VIP

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    You will always feel sad about this dog because it died before it's time and not from old age. I do know that feeling. But please try and enjoy your new life with the new pup. I know in time they all weave their magic spell on us.
     
  15. brackensmom

    brackensmom PetForums VIP

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    Aww bless you, i know you did everything you could for Fletcher and that it was an awful tragic accident and think it was a bit unneccesary for the other poster to put this,
    I think getting a new pup would be great for you, and it is not replaceing Fletcher, just giving love to a new pup, and you will love him just as much.
     
  16. ad_1980

    ad_1980 PetForums VIP

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    your telling me! LOL When i brought Mika home i thought i wouldn't love him as much as i did woody and i was worried i'd get what new mothers get - the post natal depression thing and reject him - except i didn't have a baby - i just used that as an example you know what i mean? Never happened i love him just as much

    My cousin pretended she was going to take Mika home with her the other day and i was like seriously 'um, no you are so not'. She was like 'you wouldn't do without him would you?' i was like oh no.

    Don't worry hon. You'll be fine. :) If you need to talk or anything PM me.
     
  17. corrine3

    corrine3 PetForums VIP

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    thank you, dont mean to sound so defensive but i feel guilty enough about what happened to fletcher and the fact i wasnt there to help him or be with him in his final hours. and i know how awful my brother and sister in law feel, they have a dog of their own and couldnt have been better with fletcher, from what they've told me i know he had a fantastic time with them.

    i'm going to go and see pups again and clear up a few questions...but i think its looking promising, even got a name. trying not to get too excited tho just in case it doesnt happen, i'm a great believer in everything happens for a reason so if this is the rite pup for us then we'll know.
     
  18. haeveymolly

    haeveymolly PetForums VIP

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    Sadly accidents happen, and you wernt to blame after all you wernt even there and your relatives could not have prevented what happened, sadly accidents happen and thats exactly what it was an accident, we lost monty a year ago may gone and we thought was it something we did when he was a pup was it his diet etc, we all look for something to blame and in the end its happened, no ones fault, nothing we can do but carry on and if it helps us to carry on by geting a another pup as we did then go ahead.
     
  19. ad_1980

    ad_1980 PetForums VIP

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    See?

    IMO a new pup is good therapy :) Seriously.
     
  20. haeveymolly

    haeveymolly PetForums VIP

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    To be honest we got our pup, well shes 13 months now, to help harvey carry on, not us he became very depressed after losing his brother and i mean seriously depressed, so i worried i would not bond with her as we were getting her for a different reason to why we got harvey and monty (we wanted them for us) molly we didnt, but believe me they bring their own love with them and she is just as special but in a different way, she was born as i always think to save a life if another dog which i think makes her very special in her own right, so think as these puppies as been born to help you to not get over fletcher but to help you through this difficult time.:)
     
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