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Dog commandments

Discussion in 'Dog Chat' started by Dally Banjo, Jun 1, 2010.


  1. Dally Banjo

    Dally Banjo PetForums VIP

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    :lol::lol::lol:

    1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

    2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

    3 I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.

    4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

    5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

    6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

    7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

    8. I will not bite the officer' s hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.

    9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

    10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

    11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

    12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

    13. I will not throw up in the car.

    14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

    15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.

    16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

    And, finally, My last question . . .

    Dear God: Why do humans only have 10 Commandments and dogs have 16?


    P.S. When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
     
    SpringerHusky likes this.
  2. dalpup

    dalpup PetForums Member

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    :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

    written by a man praps ;)

    those are so funny :D
     
  3. k4r4

    k4r4 PetForums VIP

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    I love number 11 read them out to OH and we both giggled :D
     
  4. BubsyBear

    BubsyBear PetForums Member

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    "My head does not belong in the refrigerator"
    I liked this one :D
     
  5. metaldog

    metaldog PetForums VIP

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    Brilliant! That gave me a good laugh and i really needed to smile :)
     
  6. mum2three

    mum2three PetForums Junior

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    Funny, love it and sooo true:lol::lol::lol:
     
  7. alaun

    alaun PetForums VIP

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    urggg! Why did I have to read whilst eating my toast? Also had to stop one of mine having kitty crunchies for breakfast this morning :eek:
     
  8. Dally Banjo

    Dally Banjo PetForums VIP

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    :D
    Going to add 17

    Thou shall not enter the bathroom & fart just as your human has got in the bath :rolleyes: :lol::lol::lol:
     
  9. Nellybelly

    Nellybelly PetForums VIP

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    that's brilliant!
     
  10. dalpup

    dalpup PetForums Member

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    OMG too funny!!!!!!!!:lol:
     
  11. sue&harvey

    sue&harvey PetForums VIP

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    Brill :lol::lol::lol:
     
  12. chrissie-h

    chrissie-h PetForums Junior

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    Hilarious! Just spat my coffee out over my lap! Thanks for making me smile :) x
     
  13. Olly's Mum

    Olly's Mum PetForums Member

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    Thou shalt not eat poo, mud or anything smelly then give out kisses :eek:
     
  14. Dally Banjo

    Dally Banjo PetForums VIP

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    Thou shall not come into the bathroom & shake when your human has just got out of the bath because of your earlier fart :rolleyes: :lol:
     
  15. k4r4

    k4r4 PetForums VIP

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    thou shall not jump in bath before your human.
     
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