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Does my newly adopted dog like me?

Discussion in 'Dog Rescue and Adoption' started by MortythePug, Aug 2, 2019.


  1. MortythePug

    MortythePug PetForums Newbie

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    I have to preface this to say this was not a quick decision adopting a dog. I researched a lot and have been wanting a dog for 14 years. I have been caring for friends and neighbours pugs for a long time and know the breed very well. I knew I was in a position to give a lot of love to an adopted dog as I work from home.

    So I adopted a 2-year-old dog a few days ago and I have to admit I am feeling incredibly overwhelmed. He is lovely, friendly, cuddly and the absolute cutest. But I feel as if I can't think about anything else except how he is feeling and I can't help but feel guilty. Does he like me? Does he miss his old place? Is he happy? To think he might not be makes me so sad. I have broken down twice thinking I am not good enough to care for someone else.

    He seems to have abandonment issues as the previous owner left him for long periods of time. He also has pooed and peed inside even though he was supposed to be potty trained and has been walked a lot. I just feel helpless and feeling like he doesn't like being here or something. I feel like it will always be like this now.

    His previous owner was gone most of the day. He didn't get to meet that many other dogs and I think his schedule was completely different as they worked weird hours. So I think part of it is the fact his schedule is changing dramatically. I work from home and I am with him 20 hours a day at least and he is getting so much love. We go for walks at least 6 times a day for a total of 2 hours. He gets to socialise with other dogs and he sleeps with me. I feel like I am giving him everything I have and it's not enough!

    Does this feeling go away? Is this just the adjustment period and we will both fall into a routine together? Please help a new dog owner out.
     
  2. McKenzie

    McKenzie PetForums VIP

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    Welcome to the forum :)

    You’re expecting way too much, way too soon. Right now he’s probably confused and anxious (hence the toileting in the house) because his whole world has been turned upside down. Of course he won’t be happy at this point and ‘liking’ you is the last thing on his mind. But it won’t be like that forever.

    Dogs can take months to fully settle into a new home so try to look at the bigger picture. Don’t rush him - at this point he doesn’t need extensive walks or be required to socialise or anything like that. Just let him be for the moment. There’s plenty of time for that other stuff (although a lot of us here will argue that he doesn’t need to socialise with other dogs at all). I would do a few short walks to help with toileting but nothing like what you’re giving him right now. If he wasn’t walked much in his previous home then suddenly doing 2 hours of walking could actually be detrimental.

    He will adjust but he needs to do it at his own pace. Just hang out with him in the house for now and stop being so hard on yourself.
     
    #2 McKenzie, Aug 2, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2019
  3. 3dogs2cats

    3dogs2cats PetForums VIP

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    You are going through the normal emotions of what is known as `Puppy Blues`but applies to any new dog of any age. You will find yourself feeling overwhelmed, worrying about everything and questioning if you have done the right thing in bringing a dog into your life. Give it time, these feelings do pass.
     
  4. Silverpaw

    Silverpaw PetForums Senior

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    It's great that you chose to give a dog who really needed it a new home.It's very understandable that you want your new little friend to feel happy,loved and settled,that's why you had him,to give him the best.However,it is,as others have said,far to soon for this to have happened yet.Try to look at it through his eyes,he has lost everything that he has ever know.Even though it wasn't meeting his needs,it was all he knew.He needs time and patience to allow him to adjust,at his pace.If you can give him this at this stage,it will pay dividends for the rest of his life with you.Try not to make any demands on him to be fussy or affectionate,he will come to you when he is ready.Talk to him in an upbeat way,or he'll pick up on your sadness.Give him gentle routines to support him whilst he settles.Put aside any thoughts that he won't like you,you will become his world.When he has really settled,which can take some time,you will see that the result is worth waiting for.Meanwhile,try and take pleasure from the small steps you'll see along the way.You'll look back on them in the knowledge that those small steps were part of the journey to having a happy,affectionate and wonderful forever friend.It's a destination well worth investing time and patience in.
     
  5. kimthecat

    kimthecat PetForums VIP

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    Im sorry you are feeling like this. Ive always adopted dogs and you do tend to worry in the first few weeks.
    The best thing to do is not over think this and to relax . :) Dont let him pick up your worries or fuss over him too
    much
    It is pretty normal for dogs to bark a bit when first left and to toilet indoors until they get used to a routine.
    It is strange for both of you , as you say he is friendly and cuddly and he will soon adjust .
    You have given this dog a lovely home and you have many happy years ahead, so well done you .
     
  6. lorilu

    lorilu PetForums VIP

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    Yes and yes. Hang in there, it's early days. Stick around here for help. It gets better, and then becomes wonderful to the point that you wonder how you ever managed without him. xx
     
  7. MortythePug

    MortythePug PetForums Newbie

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    Thank you all for these reassuring words! It's funny as we were in the park and I was fussing over him and brought a water bowl and everyone else said: "you can tell you are a new dog owner". I need to stop fussing over him and worry too much, as you said he will pick up on this and if I am calm he will be.

    You all made me feel so much better! Losing him would crush me, but also I feel so overwhelmed thinking I am not forever responsible for him! That being said, he has already taught me so much and I know we will be best friends very soon.
     
  8. DanWalkersmum

    DanWalkersmum watching the world go by

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    Maybe, and please don't take this the wrong way, he needs a little space to get used to you and his new surroundings. It must be a real shock to the system for him being shown so much attention after getting so little for so long before you got him. Takes time to get to the point where you can both settle down and enjoy each other (just my opinion, no science involved) :)
     
  9. MortythePug

    MortythePug PetForums Newbie

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    Yes I know what you mean! I think perhaps it was just TOO many changes at once. New home, new schedule, new person, loads of time together, lots of love, sleeping together and lots of walks with other dogs. Think ill wait and focus on the house training now and take more but shorter walks and reward when he goes outside.
     
  10. DanWalkersmum

    DanWalkersmum watching the world go by

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    Good idea, You will get there, take your time and enjoy your pup x
     
    Valerie Healy likes this.
  11. MortythePug

    MortythePug PetForums Newbie

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    When it comes to the peeing I just figured it out!! When I adopted him I had to take him back on the train which was over 3 hours so as soon as we went off the train I was standing still trying to find my ticket and he peed on my suitcase as it was the closest thing. I got home and put the suitcase down on the floor and didn't think about it as he peed on it again. I cleaned it up and put the suitcase away but now realising I did not have the special enzyme spray. Now thinking back it was always around the same spot! So we're back to the drawing board now and going on frequent but shorter walks and only around the block so he gets used to where to pee and then immediately giving him treats. I will hold off the park and all socialising with other dogs for a few days. And using the enzyme spray and getting the carpet cleaned too in the meantime!
     
    Valerie Healy and lorilu like this.
  12. lorilu

    lorilu PetForums VIP

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    But there is nothing wrong with bringing a water bowl, regardless of what those snarky other dog walkers felt the need to say to you.

    You're sounding much better already. :)
     
    Valerie Healy and Dog_Crazy_1980 like this.
  13. Dog_Crazy_1980

    Dog_Crazy_1980 PetForums Newbie

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    I was so glad to read your post! I joined this forum a few days ago because we adopted a 7 month old Romanian Puppy just under 3 weeks ago and I was looking for some reassurance that what we're experiencing is "normal"! Buddy is our 2nd Dog as a couple, but our 1st rescue and it's so different to our first, who we had from 10 weeks until he died at 10 years, last September, so it has been a massive adjustment for us too!

    I was so upset when Buddy went "on strike", refused to go any further and pulled me back home when I took him for a Walk on Saturday (my Husband normally takes him because I'm at work) and convinced myself he didn't "like me" because I'd had to go on a business trip for a few days the 2nd week after we got him. Reading your post and the replies has made me realise I was expecting far too much too soon. He has already showed that he trusts us more than anyone else and let's us stroke him and rub his belly when he wakes up in the morning, but I think was half expecting him to just pick up where our old Dog left off; playing Fetch and Frisbee and snuggling up to us on the Sofa and I have now realised that was totally unrealistic!

    I have no doubt that these things will come in time and he is, after all, still a Puppy with the same naughty habits our previous Puppy had at the same age (it's easy to look back through Rose tinted spectacles and believe he was an Angel but he wasn't!) but a Rescue Dog, who has never experienced life outside Kennels, will have additional challenges and need more time to settle in.

    I just need to relax and let him get to know us and our routine and what we do and don't like him to do and vice versa. Time goes so fast, these first 6-8 weeks, no matter how hard they may feel now, will seem like a tiny spec on the distant horizon after what we hope will be his long lifetime together. I am sure you and your Dog will be the same. Wishing you the best of luck!
     
    #13 Dog_Crazy_1980, Aug 15, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2019
    Valerie Healy likes this.
  14. MortythePug

    MortythePug PetForums Newbie

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    I don’t know if anyone will ever read this but I thought I’d update anyway. Morty is my whole world and while he still has separation anxiety I can’t ever imagine how I ever lived without him. He does Poo sometimes when I leave but never pees inside. We have a training schedule for it but honestly, he is the most precious thing in the world.

    I felt the need to go back as I remember how worried I was when I wrote this, that I was responsible for this little being. But honestly he has saved me and is the best thing ever.
     
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  15. lorilu

    lorilu PetForums VIP

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    Thanks for the happy update!
     
  16. DanWalkersmum

    DanWalkersmum watching the world go by

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    It's good to hear that things are going well for you both, a lovely positive post. I'm so pleased that he's settled with you, thanks for updating us.
     
    Lurcherlad likes this.
  17. Silverpaw

    Silverpaw PetForums Senior

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    It's great to hear how good you're feeling now.Well done you and well done Monty.It's amazing what time, patience and understanding can do.
    It's really good to read something so positive, especially in the current difficult circumstances in which we all find ourselves.Thanks for the update, you've certainly brought a smile to my face.
     
    DanWalkersmum and Lurcherlad like this.
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