The Roman invasion of Britain in a nutshell - by Classixuk, aged 32 and 3/4
One day, whilst eating spaghetti bolognese again, Ceasar screamed, "Is this all we get around here? Pasta and bloody garlic bread? I've had enougn I tell you. I sent the army to Africa and they brought me cous cous. I sent them to France and they brought me snails. I mean, for Venus' sake, they brought me back pickled cabbage from Germany and Poland. Surely some other nation has a dish tastier than pasta with sauce?"
And with that, his most trusted slave answered, "Oh great one. I do hear that in England they have a delicacy called "Fish and Chips" as well as "Chip sandwiches". Served with salt and vinegar, and wrapped in yesterday's news, there is allegedly nothing better to devour in this whole entire empire. But be warned...the Scottish clans spoil the animal fat with something called "Deep Fried Mars Bars". Rumour has it that eating such things makes your hair turn ginger...matching collar and cuffs too."
So with that, Caesar sent an army to Britain.
They built a wall to stop the Scottish frying their Mars Bars in England's oil, and then they came, they saw and they conquered.
And to this day, you'll never find a ginger roman catholic!
The End.
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