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Dealing with Mental Illness

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by littleBichon, Apr 28, 2011.


  1. littleBichon

    littleBichon PetForums Member

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    I dont know where to turn with this.
    Im crying already before even typing this out..

    My mum is mentally ill. She hears voices and has done since 2005, it is getting worse every year. In 2009 everything came to a head and she took an overdose, resulting in her being sectioned and I finally thought things were going to get sorted as the psychiatrists were now ready to listen to me about all the things that she has said and done and all the notes id found that she had written. She was sectioned for 6months when she was 'released' she stopped taking her medication. The psychiatrist supported her in that decision as she said it wasnt stopping the voices and it was reacting badly with her other medication (shes not a well lady anyway, has Hughes Syndrome, Lupus, Epliepsy and had a stroke at 19 before I came along two years later)

    She and my dad then split up New Year 2010, my mum moved out and my dad had to eventually sell the family home. He is now engaged and living with another women. He has 'washed his hands' of my mum really and I dont blame him after everything that she has said and done, and i understand that he has a new life now but I am so mad at him for just walking away.

    I am an only child and am the only person that see's my mum. She has no friends or family that are interested, she is very very difficult to deal with and her 'stories' that she comes up with are dangerous and could easily get people into trouble, serious trouble. So I do not blame anyone for not wanting to be involved.

    Last night was the night of my monthly visit (I live in a different city from my mum now, and try to see her once a month) It was horrific. We went out for tea and argued in the car on the way home. She told me that she knows I hear the voices too and I should just admit it. She told me that I also hear singing in my abdomen from an unborn baby (?!). I assured her that I dont.

    I have a recording on my phone of her talking the the 'voice' and telling it to stay away from me. She says 'Being sectioned was the biggest favour anyone could have done for me because when I find you, no matter how i kill you I wont go to prison' she just kept repeating it.

    I called my dad when I left after being there about 4 hours trying to make sure she was calm before i left. He did the phone equivilent of shrugging his shoulders and just said he doesnt know what to do, just leave her to it.

    I am so upset today, I cant pretend that theres nothing happening. Im worried for her safety. Why am I the only one that seems to be worried?

    Im sorry for such a long post that probably doesnt make any sense but I just needed to get it out. :(
     
  2. niki87

    niki87 PetForums VIP

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    I have no idea reallt what to suggest. Cos I don't really know what you want! But could you not see your mum is a slightly more controlled atmosphere...not going out to a restaurant...or at least have someone else there?

    The problem with mental illness is that it affects the loved ones of the sufferer sometimes more than the sufferer. I think people should be helping you on how to deal with these outbusts etc not just leaving you alone.

    Your Dad...I think you are being very mature about his part in this. But I think you have a right to be annoyed...he has no obligation now to help your mum...but he is your father...he should be doing his best to help you. Maybe talk to him...tell him you are struggling. Then again sounds like he knows this... :( Am sorry hun...guess am not very helpful...just didn't wanna read and run :(
     
  3. BeagleOesx

    BeagleOesx PetForums VIP

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    I feel so sorry for you, when all said & done it is your Mum who you love very much and it must be very difficult & upsetting (to say the least) to see her like this. It doesn't help when, you are having to cope with this on your own. Is there any one you can talk to about it, does she have a carer or does she attend regular appointments at the Drs because of her conditions?

    I am sorry I can't be more help but I don't have any experience in dealing with anything like this. It must be such a worry for you.

    Thinking of you xx
     
  4. rona

    rona Guest

    Can you contact her GP?
     
  5. manic rose

    manic rose PetForums VIP

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    didn't wanna just read that and run. sounds like an incredably tough situation. who looks after her normally? does she have a care team or a doctor you can talk to about your concerns? to be honest wouldnt bother talking to your father about it, seems like you wont get any help from him sadly. *hugs* to you, hope things can be sorted soon
     
  6. Moogz

    Moogz PetForums Junior

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    I'm really sorry you have to go through that :( I have no idea how this works but can she not be sectioned again? Or go into a care home more able to deal with her problems? You shouldn't be left with all that responsibility.
     
  7. Gratch

    Gratch PetForums VIP

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    Accidentally posted as Moogz, didn't realise he was logged in and was using his computer :eek: Feel free to PM me if you need to talk, I'll be back at 6pm :)
     
  8. AmberNero

    AmberNero PetForums VIP

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    This sounds like a very difficult situation to be in, and I don't think there is a 'correct' way to deal with these issues- but I agree with others that contacting her doctors would be a good first step. Your mum is clearly quite unwell, and is alone for the majority of the time by the sounds of it (absolutely no slur on you at all, I think you're being a very supportive daughter) and this may only make things harder for her. If she is not in regular contact with her GP then she does't have a health support network in place and therefore may be at risk of harming herself unintentionally. Bearing this in mind, no matter how gut-wrenchingly hard it is for you to do, persuing the doctors for assisted living help might be the best course of action?

    I'm so sorry you have to do this without the support of your dad :( xxx
     
  9. littleBichon

    littleBichon PetForums Member

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    Thank you for all your replies.
    Its a terribly tough situation. She had a mental health team that used to come out to her and she used to be under a psychiatrist. She is so good at hiding things to the people that need to see it and she has been discharged from mental health. Even before when she was under her psychiatrist I made an appointment to see him and showed him letters etc he said that he cant do anything about the things id told him until she mentioned them. He cant raise something that ive said to him with my mum. Red tape at every turn. That was before the suicide attempt, she was then under a different psychiatrist and hes the one that discharged her and I have no contact numbers for any of them.

    I dont know whether to phone the hospital but I only have the main number and theyre not going to tell me anything about a patient are they?

    its all ridiculous.
     
  10. AmberNero

    AmberNero PetForums VIP

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    citizens advice beureu? They may be able to help you find the right avenues
     
  11. 2lisa2

    2lisa2 PetForums VIP

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    aww hun what an awfull situation i looked after people with mental ilness for many years but its much harder when its someone someone so close the only thing i could sugest is if shes got a social worker contact them an let them no what went on on your visit or contact her doctor big hugs xx
     
  12. fuzzymum

    fuzzymum PetForums Senior

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    One of my friends mums has similar problems to yours. When her mum took a turn for the worse she phoned the mental health unit where she was sectioned and told them what was happening. Maybe you need to express that you are worried for her safety, and possibly others? If they'll listen you can show them the recording. It's an awful situation to be in, but sometimes you have to do whats best for the person. Hope you can come to the right decision for everyone involved, there is no way you should be dealing with this all by yourself!

    Have you spoken to her about readmitting herself? I'm pretty sure she can do this, but it is whether she is in the right frame of mind or not xxxxxxx
     
  13. littleBichon

    littleBichon PetForums Member

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    I never thought of that one.

    I feel like im betraying her a bit, but im so worried and its started affecting my everyday life now, im struggling to distance myself from it. Maybe I need a counseller too!
     
  14. AmberNero

    AmberNero PetForums VIP

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    Please looks after yourself, stress can make you very ill, and this IS a stressful and emotionally draining situation. I think it's to be expected to feel conflicted about what to do, but your mum needs help, it sounds like she cannot seek it herself, and so, unfortunately, it falls to you. You are not betraying her, you're trying to help her xx
     
  15. 2lisa2

    2lisa2 PetForums VIP

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    dont feel like you betraying her or feel guilty it hard for anyone to cope with let alone coping on your own if you feel like you need to sort thing out in your own head over it all ask your doctor to refer you to a counseller it will do you good to talk about it never let things build up trust me i know xx
     
    AmberNero likes this.
  16. Nico0laGouldsmith

    Nico0laGouldsmith PetForums VIP

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    when she's acting like this, do you have the number for the crisis team near you? It's times like that when they'll come out to talk to your mum about her problems. It's just you have to weigh up whether you think getting professionals involved again could cause her more issues? Maybe she could go somewhere voluntarily for a little while, somewhere where she can actually leave if she doesn't want to stay. . A family member of mine was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and they too heard voices. She would be sitting in a room and mumbling to herself and you'd ask her what she said and she'd be like "don't worry I wasn't talking to you I was talking to these b****rds" and she would shout at people in the street telling them to shut up and stop saying things to her when the person hadn't actually said anything.

    She was put on medication too but refused to take it, she even hid it in the first aid box thinking noone would find it. We had to get the crisis team out a few times for her, sometimes she wouldn't even sit down she just paced around all day and night because the voices wouldn't stop. It's really distressing watching someone like that and knowing there's little you can do to help.
    She also used to make very inappropriate comments about sex between me and my boyfriend in public even though she didn't actually know him or anything.
    But my point is she went into a facility at the local hospital willingly, it was an open mental health unit and she could come and go as she pleased. She had regular meetings with the staff and she had her own individual bedroom, the unit itself was lovely. . .the only downside was that she met someone who was experiencing the same problems which for a while made her believe the voices were right and she should listen to them but after some time she actually recovered quite well. . .She still hears voices and wont take her medication but she has a lot of support from the community mental health nurses and she lives independently and safely in her own home.
    I think it helped because she wasn't actually sectioned so she didn't feel trapped.

    If you contact her GP they will make any referrals for you that you need :)

    if you do feel you need her to be sectioned at any point immediately and don't have access to the crisis team then just take her to your nearest Accident and Emergency department. Explain to them that she is at risk of hurting herself or others and that she has been sectioned in the past and they will sort everything out for you. I've been working in A&E before when this has happened.
     
  17. Mistyweather

    Mistyweather PetForums Member

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    My mum had the "voices" telling her it was time to go to school to pick me up, amongst other things. This was coupled with Alzheimers and I guess I was really lucky, as I went to the docs to speak about her and he listened, gave me pills to help me get some sleep and sent round a psychiatric doctor and nurse for a home visit. They all took me very seriously and eventually they took her into care, which she needed as she was also going awol frequently, (looking for me as a child) and we couldn't even leave her alone in a room, or she would be off again. She thought that I was her jailor!!

    Anyway, what I am trying to say is that the doctors should be able to get the ball rolling again, ..they did for me. So I really hope that you get the help you need very, very soon. Good luck
     
  18. JANICE199

    JANICE199 PetForums VIP

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    Would a call to NHS Direct be of any help? 0845 4647
    Or a call to social services.
     
  19. littleBichon

    littleBichon PetForums Member

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    I have just gone cold reading this, it all sounds so simmilar. My mum says the most innapropriate things about my sexual activities with my boyfriend. Everything that she seems to do is centred around sexual things. She believes that she is 'possessed' (her own words) by one of the doctors that performed surgery on her arm in 2004. Her story is that the main Dr. sent everyone out of theatre so that only the three of them (her and two doctors) remained. He apparently made her sign something although she cant say what, and this is quite distressing I apologise, the main doctor apparently then raped her whilst making her recite the lords prayer, but she couldnt remember it so the other Dr was saying it with her. Its fair to say that no-one believed her that this had happened. Not even me. I feel horrible for not believing her but when she comes out with other things it just sounds like a story. She says that the second doctor, a Mr Knight, is now a part of this voice that controlls her but she also loves him. There are two voices a male and female, the female is evil and the devil (again her words) and the male is Mr Knight her guardian angel. Who when she tries she is able to have sexual intercorse with through music and his voice. :confused:

    I am going to try and get in touch with her mental health team and see if it could all be reinstated, but she hated them coming round, she said they used to just call round without arranging a time and if she wasnt in would be quite nasty about it. Now i think its more likely that she knew they were coming and would go out.

    I dont think she would voluntarily go anywhere, but she has already said it drives her mad being in the house alone all the time.
     
  20. 912142

    912142 PetForums VIP

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    The details of any medical treatment along with numbers will be in her medical file - however the GP may be unwilling to supply these to you but you might just be able to convince him to write to the phychiatrist that last treated her asking him to make contact with you. Either way it sounds as though your mother does really need 24 care. My brother is a specialist in drug and alcohol abuse - I know this is not what is happening to your mother but the mental issues can often display themselves in the same manner. I could, if you wish, speak to him to see what the best way forward would be for you? Presumably you live in England? Would you like me to ask the question?
     
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