Dating sites - a weird world to be in......

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Mirandashell, Jan 22, 2018.


  1. Boxerluver30

    Boxerluver30 Hound Lover

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    Good luck with it @Mirandashell :). I wouldn't do it personally as a) I would probably get all the weirdos b) the guys after a shag would creep me out too much and c) I'm not interested in dating, my mum thinks I'm strange because of this :rolleyes:.
     
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  2. Mirandashell

    Mirandashell It wasn't me.

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    Not at all! It's taken me 3 years to consider dipping my toes in the water again and I'm in no hurry.
     
  3. Boxerluver30

    Boxerluver30 Hound Lover

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    Well hopefully you meet someone nice and someone that likes George too :).
     
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  4. Mirandashell

    Mirandashell It wasn't me.

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    Oh that's non-negotiable. If George don't like them they are not staying.
     
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  5. Boxerluver30

    Boxerluver30 Hound Lover

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    Use him as a judge of their character as well :D
     
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  6. cheekyscrip

    cheekyscrip PetForums VIP

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    Hmmm... my beloved dog liked my ex.
    Later I realized it was because the ex was no competition!!! My dog only appeared to approve , because his top dog post was unchallenged!

    Was vary of someone else, looking back - that guy was no pushover and the dog knew it would be a challenge.

    But shouldn’t worry - he would always come first, if anyone tried to come between my dog/ cat and me...
    My OH knows better than that;)
     
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  7. MiffyMoo

    MiffyMoo PetForums VIP

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    One of my exes popped over, just before Christmas. He seemed to be making suggestions that he would like to try things again. I started to feel really uncomfortable, at which point Dex got stressed. So I immediately told him that he was stressing my dog out and had to leave :D
     
  8. Mirandashell

    Mirandashell It wasn't me.

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    Well done Dex!
     
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  9. Boxerluver30

    Boxerluver30 Hound Lover

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    If I ever did get a partner (I reckon I'll be forever alone *cue violins* but a miracle could happen!) this is what I would be like. Animals come first, if you don't like it there's the door ;)
     
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  10. ouesi

    ouesi Wag More Bark Less

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    Ugh... I couldn't do it.
    I feel for anyone trying to find someone this way, what a minefield!

    There is a part of me that is saddened at the need for these sites. Are we losing our sense of community?
    Meeting people, whether to date or just be friends with should be part and parcel of belonging to a community. I know communities are far more spread out now than in the past, but are they disappearing completely? I don't mean community as in location either, I mean like community of fellow dog lovers (like here) or community of fellow runners, or even a church community. You know, group of people who share interests and care for each other?

    It makes me sad that it has become so hard to be part of a community like this...

    But then I guess it's also a good thing that these things exist for those who struggle to find communities, I suppose it is a form of community in itself?
     
  11. kittih

    kittih PetForums VIP

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    I met my OH on a dating site. There were a fair few unsuitable ones who got in contact before he came along that were weeded out but it seems to have worked for us - still going strong 15 years later. :)

    I just see it as another way to meet people. I tried the night club route, the evening classes and clubs, the friends of friends and work route but none worked out.

    I am attracted to computer nerd guys who are introverts like me so meeting such people in social situations tends to be difficult :D I have a number of friends who have met their OH via the internet. So it it is just another way of meeting someone now a days.
     
  12. Mirandashell

    Mirandashell It wasn't me.

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    I like nerds as well. Being one myself. And yeah, we tend not to gather in packs.
     
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  13. kittih

    kittih PetForums VIP

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    It may be different now but when I was on match dot com alot of the nice guys were generally quite shy and or introverts. They found it easier to start chatting on line rather than face to face.

    In fact one guy I met who was lovely but there seemed to be no spark with turned out to be really shy. I thought he wasn't interested in another date, I heard nothing back after the first date. No suggestion of wanting to go on another one. He continued sending occasional friendly short messages but that was it. I then met someone else, happened to mention that I was meeting up with someone and he became very upset. I can usually spot subtle but his level of interest was so subtle I hadn't realised he was waiting to get up the courage to ask me out again. Oops.

    Funnily enough all of the really confident ones turned out to be arrogant twits.
     
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  14. LinznMilly

    LinznMilly Submissive Servant to My Lord and Lady Mutts
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    I tried using a dating site in the past, but it wasn't for me. For me, it was an attempt to fit in, to "be normal" and have an OH but it never even got off the starting block for me, and honestly, I think I'm just much more content on my own!

    However, I am personally a lot more comfortable communicating behind a computer/tablet screen than I ever am face-to-face. I'm introverted and overly worried about how I come across or how things are interpreted when talking in person. Writing things down/typing on a screen gives me chance to proof-read what I've said, and to put myself in the reader's shoes, asking myself how it might come across to them or how I'd feel if someone wrote to me, what I just have? I'm the go-to letter-writer of the family, but making small talk, and getting to know people is borderline painful for me.

    Having been a professional career in the past, one thing I know from the elderly is that a lot of elderly people used to go dancing when they were younger, and that's how many people met their spouses. Nowadays it's not something you hear of, so perhaps online dating has filled in a niche there.

    OP, my parents both met their OHs online. Dad will be celebrating his 2nd wedding anniversary this summer, mum has been happy in her relationship for 4 or 5 years.
     
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  15. ouesi

    ouesi Wag More Bark Less

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    Oh, I totally get that. I find small-talk with people I don't know not borderline painful, it is literally painful. My body language is so tight my muscles get sore, my face muscles hurt, and I usually end up with a splitting headache. I'm naturally shy and awkward and I've never really grown out of it. I do have a lot more coping skills than I did as a youngster, and a lot more social tools in my toolbox, maybe in part because I grew up in a time when retreating behind a computer screen wasn't an option? IDK...

    In any case, I totally get being shy, uncomfortable, not outgoing.

    However, put me in a barn full of fellow horse lovers and give us some stalls to clean or hay to stack and conversation is easy and friendships blossom effortlessly.
    Put me at a table making emergency bags for a women's shelter with 8 other volunteers and I'll effortlessly get to know every other person at that table.
    A friend of 15 years I met walking the beach marking turtle nests. We worked together one day that summer and that's it and to this day we are good friends, and meet up at least once a year.
    Another friend of over 20 years, I through work with a therapeutic riding program. She and I became good friends and even tighter as she battled breast cancer. My kids call her "aunt" and we have Christmas dinner at her table for over 15 years now.

    This is how I think of meeting people - through shared interests and being connected through something outside of just meeting for the sake of meeting. FWIW, I never got the whole clubbing, bar hopping thing either - going out for no other reason than to hook up with someone. And yes, I know that makes me weird :D

    I'm really not criticizing dating sites, I know they can be a wonderful thing. But gosh that's a lot of pervs and weirdos to wade through! Why not just spend the time doing something you enjoy anyway and see who else shows up?

    Of course just my opinion on the whole dating sites thing :) At the end of the day if it works and you're happy (general you) and not being taken advantage of, rock on!
     
  16. CuddleMonster

    CuddleMonster PetForums VIP

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    I guess it depends on your interests. I've got friends who work in female-dominated jobs and who spend their spare time on 'girly' hobbies, so their chances of meeting a single guy are fairly small. Whereas my farming friend who was into agri shows and sheepdog trials was practically beating the men off with a bargepole!

    I've been single so long I can't remember what it was like to go on a date. The only thing I find annoying is the 'why on earth are you single' attitude I get from so many. Being permanently single may be unusual, but it shouldn't be abnormal!!!
     
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  17. SusieRainbow

    SusieRainbow Moderator
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    Can I recommend the use of the 'ignore' facility to anyone offended by posts ?
     
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  18. CuddleMonster

    CuddleMonster PetForums VIP

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    Oh yes. I once had a guy I knew slightly from a social group turn up on my doorstep. Asked him what he was there for and apparently it was because he'd decided we were going to get married and we needed to plan the wedding. :eek: To clarify, our conversation to date had consisted of 'hello' and 'goodbye' as we met each other at various events. :confused: Worryingly, he ended up married to a woman who had a reputation for doing exactly the same thing to men. Last I heard, they had two kids and I can't help wondering about that particular gene mix :Wacky
     
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  19. Mirandashell

    Mirandashell It wasn't me.

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    Sounds like he met his soul mate! Not sure about the kids........:D
     
  20. LinznMilly

    LinznMilly Submissive Servant to My Lord and Lady Mutts
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    I think there's a difference between being shy, and being an introvert. ;) Like you say yourself, if you're in a group of likeminded people, you get to know them effortlessly. Introverts generally don't. We're the ones who spend the entire party playing with the family pet, or standing in the corner, hoping no one notices us (and usually wondering why we're there in the first place). Likeminded group or not, social interactions actually drain us.

    For me, (not sure if it is just me, or if other introverts feel this way, too) the only thing worse than meeting new people, is meeting a friend or acquaintance, because meeting someone for the first time is generally quick, and relatively painless, but friends or acquaintances want to stop and talk to me, and that's scary to me.

    Literally the only people I'm actually comfortable around, is family.

    That's why, as I said on the Plant Based thread, even thinking about joining the gym, is way out of my comfort zone - Other People are there, and I might see People I Know :Nailbiting. I'm hanging on to the idea of grabbing my MP3 player and maybe a paper bag :Bag . Every instinct in my body was telling me to retreat the second the receptionist asked me if I wanted a guided tour. :eek:

    Before I had a mobile (which I generally forget, and never think of checking, unless I'm expecting a phone call or text), I hated the idea of making a phone call - not answering the phone, making a phone call, in case I got the wrong number and had to do it again. :Eggonface

    I had coping mechanisms for work, because I had to have then, but even then, phoning the office was an arduous task, and something to put off unless or until I had to make that call.

    Even with family, coming home to a silent flat is like being enveloped in a soothing, sympathetic hug. The silence itself is comforting.

    :Lurking :Lurking :Lurking