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chosing dog over relationship

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by jessiegirl, Jun 8, 2010.


  1. jessiegirl

    jessiegirl PetForums Senior

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    ive heard a few stories recently like this.

    what do u think of couples that choose a dog over the relationship?

    i used to walk a guys dog 2 yrs ago and him and his gf split up. he got the dog ,they both liked him , but then i think the gf kinda got jelous over the dog and how much fuss and attention the guy was giving him......in the end she told him 'its me or the dog'.......so he chose the dog lol

    tbh i think i wouldve done the same thing as him
     
  2. lauren001

    lauren001 PetForums VIP

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    There is more to it that just saying "it is me or the dog" to someone who is an animal lover.
    If the partner is so jealous or house proud or needy or hates dogs/cats/rabbits etc. then is that someone you want to spend the rest of your life with?

    It may feel that it is a person choosing an animal over a person but basically if that ultimatum is delivered then that person is saying to the animal lover that you cannot have an animal ever again because "I don't want it".

    If you buckle down and get rid of said dog/cat/rabbit etc. then if you stay in that relationship, you will never be allowed to get another animal.

    Is that then a good relationship?
     
  3. London Dogwalker

    London Dogwalker PetForums Senior

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    If someone were ever to give me an ultimatum like that it'd be the animal EVERY time.....:D

    Agree with the poster above, people that make threats like this probably aren't the one you want to be with long term anyway, best to get rid while you can!
     
  4. MissG

    MissG PetForums VIP

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    I know that me and my husband will never have a dog. Simply because he won't allow it. I would never say to him "I want a dog, or a divorce"
     
  5. lauz_1982

    lauz_1982 PetForums VIP

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    I know my hubby would choose me if I gave him that ultimatum but he would probably be too scared to issue the same ultimatum to me as he would wonder which I would choose!!! The truth is although I love Mac dearly if it was putting my relationship at risk then I would have to re home him. I would have my parents take him though so I could still see him. The only way I would EVER let him go is if it was harming my relationship but I really don't see that ever happening and my hubby loves him to bits too even though he's a little bugger.

    Laura :)
     
  6. catz4m8z

    catz4m8z PetForums VIP

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    I dont think its a pet so much as a lifestyle that comes with owning a pet. If someone says "its only a dog" they clearly dont understand you at all. That would be a deal breaker in my book!:)
     
  7. corrine3

    corrine3 PetForums VIP

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    I think by the time ur in a long term relationship you should already know what the pet situation is. I simply wouldnt be with someone if they never wanted a pet of any kind because I dont think I could live my whole life with no animal in the house. If animals are that important to a person they should find out early on how their OH feels about animals. Having said that having a puppy put a huge strain on our relationship and taught us a lot about parenting! But I think a baby would be the same.
     
  8. London Dogwalker

    London Dogwalker PetForums Senior

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    I have a massive problem with the word 'allow' in that sentence, but I admit I'm not married although have a live-in partner so maybe it's just your choice of words that has me screaming 'you are allowed anything you want' :lol:
     
  9. rona

    rona Guest

    Got to agree with you here :thumbup:
     
  10. MissG

    MissG PetForums VIP

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    Of course I can do anything I want. But I wouldn't choose to do something that my husband wouldn't agree with.
     
  11. jenniferx

    jenniferx PetForums VIP

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    I get that and I'd be the first person to advocate relationship autonomy.

    A relationship is about compromise isn't it. I don't think it's so much to do with being "allowed" as it is reasonably trying to fit the lives of two different people who love each other, together in as fair a way as is possible to both parties.

    That said ... For me, it's the dogs. Everytime. :lol:
     
  12. Spellweaver

    Spellweaver PetForums VIP

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    My niece has just this week split up with her boyfriend of 4.5 years because she finally realised that he was never going to agree to their having dogs when they were living together. She loves dogs, shows and handles dogs, and up to now he's been fine with the fact that it's something she does when she's not with him. But when they started talking about their future together, and she realised that he was definitely saying no dogs in the house once they were living together, it made her stop and question the whole relationship - with the result that they both realised they wanted quite different things in their futures. They actually parted quite amicably.
     
  13. Patterdale_lover

    Patterdale_lover PetForums VIP

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    Hehe this is why in my criteria the guy MUST LOVE DOGS

    Luckily my OH is as much a fanatic as me and actually bought one of dad's labs. We love talking about dogs and have already decided our breeds we definitley want to have :p
    However if he turned to me and said "me or the dog" I'd have to say sling your hook mate. As to me, there are other problems then just not liking or agreeing with the dog. Obviously very self centerd and attention seeking if they can't share the attention and you should never ever give someone you love an ultimatum to choose between things they love. Thats my opinion. Its like you asking them to pick between their friends or you.

    But deffo dog everytime, cos even if i did get rid of the dog and our relationship carried on who says it is to last they might leave me 6 months a year ten years down the line, the dog will stick by you to the end :D
     
  14. MissG

    MissG PetForums VIP

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    Absolutley. That's why I have a whole room full of animals. My husband is not a dog lover. He won't be ruled by one, he finds it ridiculous that people revolve their lives around their dogs.
    Which actually suits me, as I like to at the drop of a hat stay out for the night - which we couldn't if we had a dog.
     
  15. PoisonGirl

    PoisonGirl Banned

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    I have chosen my dogs over a guy before and I would again (but there is no need to)

    I had to get rid of my collie/gsd because we had nowhere to live but his mums house, she had a cat and 2 chis and Rusty wanted to eat them all! Then we got our own place and I had Roxy, my colliexlab she must have been about 5mo when my son was about a month old, ( the guy i was with isnt his dad) he resented Roxy because we had got rid of his dog tyson after he went for someone (joint decision). He neer paid her any attention and teased her all the time, never listened to me about her training etc. Then one day he came back in a bad mood and kicked her with his goth boots on cos she was in the way of the telly. Swear I have never been so Fing mad in my entire life! omg I threw his portable tv at him after other things :lol:


    I breifly dated another guy I think we were on our 4th date or something, we really liked eachother I knew he liked dogs he had 2 at home but he told me he didnt want to live with dogs when he moved out his parents, well date 5 never happened! Lol!


    When I met OH I instantly knew he liked dogs as I had my foster staff x with me and he loved him, and also was telling me about his two bosses dogs (he had 2 jobs) they were akitas and he walked them sometimes.
    Unfortunately his limit stops at 3 but hey I will work on 4 once we'v had 3 for a while :lol:
     
  16. GillyR

    GillyR PetForums VIP

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    Easy one for me.....and to be honest, i would never be with anyone, who would even consider it......love me, love my family...that includes my fur babies.

    It isnt that i would animal before human....but anyone who knows and loves and respects me, has to accept that animals are a big part of who i am.

    I just couldnt choose either way...it would be the other person who would have to walk....it would be me and my family, or the door.

    My husband is just like me....maybe not as nutty :lol:, but he loves our dogs just as much as me.
     
  17. flufffluff39

    flufffluff39 PetForums VIP

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    To right :) My oh was big enough and ugly enough to look after himself!!! My dogs need me and I need them :)
     
  18. Mum2Alfie

    Mum2Alfie PetForums VIP

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    Im not gonna get into this thread that much. However I am only gonna say one thing.....

    There is one thing most important in a relationship and thats comprimise! You will NEVER agree on everything, so if you dont comprimise in a relationship it will never work!

    Thats it all done! Cause if I dont I will get angry and I dont wanna! :D
     
  19. MissG

    MissG PetForums VIP

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    Compromise keeps popping up, but don't forget this works both ways. I may not have a dog, but I have about 50 other animals.....
     
  20. Emraa

    Emraa PetForums Senior

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    This is exactly what happened to me. To be honest it wasn't that hard!!
    Anyone who asks that question to an animal lover is a loser in my opinion. I don't miss him and don't regret my choice :)
     
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