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Cat Commandments

Discussion in 'Cat Chat' started by Dally Banjo, Jun 2, 2010.


  1. Dally Banjo

    Dally Banjo PetForums VIP

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    So true :lol::lol::lol:

    Thou shall not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the PC.

    Thou shall not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.

    Thou shall not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.

    Thou shall not sit in front of the television or monitor as thou are transparent.

    Thou shall not projectile vomit from the top of the fridge or down any awkward place.

    Thou shall not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.

    Thou shall not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.

    Thou shall not leap from great heights onto thy human's genital region.

    Fast as thou are, thou cannot run through closed doors.

    Thou shall not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.

    Thou shall not climb on the bin with the hinged lid, as thee will fall in and trap thyself.

    Thou shall not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.

    Thou shall not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4a.m.

    Thou shall realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity.

    Thou shall not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slow.

    Thou shall not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.

    Thou shall remember that thou are a carnivore and that houseplants are not meat.

    Thou shall show remorse when being scolded

    & last but not least Thou shall not terrorize the dogs :D
     
    JoWDC likes this.
  2. alaun

    alaun PetForums VIP

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    Lol, when you compare it to the dogs commanments it becomes obvious that dogs have a lot less morals than dogs :)
     
  3. JoWDC

    JoWDC PetForums VIP

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    LOL - you should add

    Thou shalt remember that all food, including mine, is not rightfully yours.
     
  4. RachelGC

    RachelGC PetForums Member

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    LOL this is very funny, put a smile on my face this morning :thumbup:

    I'd like to add a couple more for Tilly:

    Thou shall not put thy face in thy humans food whilst they are trying to eat

    Thou shall not lick thy Human's ice cream whilst they are currently eating it

    Thou shall not climb the curtains

    And most iportantly, thou shall not fall in the toilet (again)!!

    :thumbup:
     
  5. Leah84

    Leah84 PetForums VIP

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    haha amazing :thumbup: :lol:
     
  6. Dally Banjo

    Dally Banjo PetForums VIP

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    :thumbup::lol::lol::lol:
     
  7. Cleo38

    Cleo38 PetForums VIP

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    LOL ..... Can I also add.....

    Thou shall not jump up on to freshly painted window sills then walk gloss paint all over the furniture!!!!!! :mad:

    Ahhh, decorating with 2 cats & a dog is a nightmare!
     
  8. mini cactus

    mini cactus PetForums Junior

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    thou shall not jump on babies feet as though they are a toy :D

    (my Eva)
     
  9. tordis

    tordis PetForums Senior

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    Thou shall not use your human's leg as a scratching post :D
     
  10. sophoscar

    sophoscar PetForums VIP

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    :lol: Thats the one i was going to add :lol:
     
  11. Dally Banjo

    Dally Banjo PetForums VIP

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    Thou shalt not sit out in the rain then race round the house blessing everything with ones soggy tail :rolleyes: :lol::lol::lol:
     
  12. RachelGC

    RachelGC PetForums Member

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    Thou shall not lick thy Human's face after licking thy butt!!
     
  13. mini cactus

    mini cactus PetForums Junior

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    :lol: :lol:

    keep them coming! great thread :thumbup:
     
  14. catzz

    catzz PetForums Senior

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    Thou shalt not dig in the litter tray just for fun and scatter litter everywhere
    (Kiera :) )

    THou shalt desist from using the bed as an adventure playground in the middle of the night
     
  15. Dally Banjo

    Dally Banjo PetForums VIP

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    :lol::lol::lol:

    Glad we're not the only ones who's cats think there is a monster lurking under the quilt :rolleyes: :lol:
     
  16. billyboysmammy

    billyboysmammy PetForums VIP

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    Thou shalt not drink thy owners tea or coffee

    Thou shalt not investigate shopping bags to find thy humans fillet steak

    Thou shalt desist from sitting on the tv and dangling your tail infront of the screen

    Thou shalt endeavour not to dribble when having a nice cuddle from your owner

    Freshly dried laundry is not the place to take thy royal nap

    The fountain of youth is not found at thy owners dripping tap

    Thy shall desist from licking plates as they go into the dishwasher
     
  17. sarahdisco

    sarahdisco PetForums VIP

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    Thou shall not use the litter tray the second thy slave has cleaned it!

    Thou shall not wake thy slave up BEFORE the alarm goes off!

    (Spartacus)

    Gotta love them!
     
  18. Dally Banjo

    Dally Banjo PetForums VIP

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    Thou shalt not I repeat NOT get in to the bin with the dogs food in you have enough of your own food :D
     
  19. billyboysmammy

    billyboysmammy PetForums VIP

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    Thou shalt not keep jumping in the bin just as i am scraping the plates, thou needs to remember thou hates baths!
     
  20. JoWDC

    JoWDC PetForums VIP

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    Thou shalt come inside the house when called, and not leave your owner frantic with worry.

    Thou shalt use the (many) scratching posts and pads provided for your claws, rather than the carpet.

    Thou shalt not start play fights under the bed at night.
     
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