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Can't shake the guilt that my inactivity caused my cat's impending death

Discussion in 'Cat Chat' started by DepressedCatOwner89, Mar 27, 2020.

  1. DepressedCatOwner89

    DepressedCatOwner89 PetForums Newbie

    Mar 27, 2020
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    TLDR: I misdiagnosed what was hurting in my cat and I fear me waiting to take him to the emergency vet will be why he dies.
    Hey guys,
    It's been a tough few days, and I just wanted to vent, and get your opinion, and just use words I guess. I hope this makes any kind of sense.
    On Monday, my 3 1/2 year old cat started yelping. I went to him to figure out what was wrong and he snapped at me whenever I reached toward his back leg to pick him up. He would also kind of start to lift his hind leg up, but wouldn't lick it to bathe himself either, so I figured something was wrong.
    But I also didn't believe it was anything serious enough to warrant taking him to the emergency vet (and I factored in the difference in cost here), so I scheduled an appointment with his primary vet for Thursday morning at 8:30.
    The next day I could tell he was lethargic. I tried my best to google his symptoms and they told me he likely had a urinary tract infection. I moved his appointment up to the next morning the vet had available, 8:30 on a Wednesday.
    I get home from work late Tuesday night and I see he's still not better. I lay with him on the couch to monitor him. Then he gets up and throws up blood.
    I rush him to the emergency vet. It turns out he had a bladder blockage and kidney damage, and they doubt he will make it. He's been at the emergency vet for two days now, but his scenario hasn't improved much.
    I'm likely going to have him euthanized on Friday.
    Shady is the first cat I've ever owned. And he was amazing. I feel like such an ******* for not taking him sooner. If I knew how bad it was I would've dropped everything and gone immediately. In the future I will with any pet I own.
    I just can't shake the feeling that my own ignorance caused his death. He was just fine a few days before. And he falls sometimes. How could I be so dumb? Was I being selfish?
    I've cried a lot the last couple of days. I can't shake the feeling that it's my fault.
    I love him so much. And I let him down.
    How do you shake the guilt?
  2. cheekyscrip

    cheekyscrip Pitchfork blaster

    Feb 8, 2010
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    It happened. Hope he will pull through.

    Sometimes we all make wrong decision.
    It happened.
    If you cannot save him you can help others.

    You can save another life in his memory. Give your home to abandoned pet cat from a charity or if you not ready donate to them.

    moomoowawa and ChaosCat like this.
  3. ChaosCat

    ChaosCat PetForums VIP

    Dec 7, 2017
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    Agree to @cheekyscrip
    It happened, you can’t change it only learn from it.

    How were you to know it was not a sprained leg if you never encountered anything like this before. And in the current situation everybody thinks twice or probably a lot more about going anywhere.

    Don’t blame yourself, that doesn’t help anybody.

    Fingers crossed for Shady to recover and if he doesn’t that he goes over peacefully knowing full well that he was loved.
    #3 ChaosCat, Mar 27, 2020
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2020
    ribbon, moomoowawa, chillminx and 2 others like this.
  4. Sacremist

    Sacremist Mum to 2 cats and a dog

    Feb 27, 2011
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    I’m sorry you feel so bad. We all make mistakes; hopefully, you will learn from this that it’s best never to self diagnose any pet. I hope your fur baby pulls through, but if not try not, to feel too guilty. I know that’s easy to say. I always beat myself up when I have to put a pet to sleep, even when I know beyond a shadow of doubt that I did all I could, I still try to find fault in something I should have done.
    moomoowawa and chillminx like this.
  5. ExD

    ExD PetForums Senior

    Jul 1, 2016
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    Who knows if taking him to vet would insured you had a happier outcome. CAts are renowned for their stoicism towards pain so don,t beat yourself up about it.
    Everyone feels guilty when someone dies, I made a similar mistake with my first fur baby. I took him to be castrated and when he came home and he hid under the tv table I assumed he was sore and sorry for himself and left himself, and I went to bed.
    He was dead next day. He'd bled internally.
    How could you possibly be expected to know?
  6. Sacremist

    Sacremist Mum to 2 cats and a dog

    Feb 27, 2011
    Likes Received:
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