C.H.A.T.T.E.R.B.O.X (Please call in to say "Hi")

Discussion in 'Games' started by Silver Jill, Jun 3, 2013.


  1. Zaros

    Zaros Pet Forums Resident Evil.

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    'Feed the birds, tuppence a bag
    Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag'

    Yeah, right!

    The price of wild bird food is fast becoming extortionate, and the birds who rely on the dwindling number of humans for their nourishment during the long winter months are in danger of being slowly starved to death because of those price increases.

    50 kilos of sunflower seeds in 2016, used to cost me around €30.00. That same quantity, as of last Thursday, set me back a whopping €45.00.
    This quantity will last somewhere in the region of three weeks, if the winter isn't too harsh.
    I've also had to replace two of the bird feeding stations, there died another €50.00, because the of the sustained vandalism from the marauding squirrels and the disruptive common woodpecker.
    The constant squirrel invasions are actually Oscar's fault because he simply can't be 4r53d to chase them away anymore.:Meh
    But, you know, when we're feet deep in snow and the surrounding forest is heavily cloaked in it, I suppose it's a relatively small price to pay to keep the little creatures happy whilst adding a myriad of contrasting colours to your garden at the same time.
    It also stops the cheeky little bleeders tapping at your windows when there's no food at all for them.
     
  2. FeelTheBern

    FeelTheBern Don't tell him, Pike!

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    I was going to have an early night, but here I am listening to Take On Me at 2am. Oh well.
     
  3. Zaros

    Zaros Pet Forums Resident Evil.

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    Don't prospective employers ask some bloody ridiculous questions.

    'What would you say your greatest weakness is?' asked he.

    After a brief moment of cogitation, I replied, 'Honesty'

    The guy looked me straight in the eye and told me, 'Actually, I don't think honesty is a weakness'

    'I couldn't give a flying f@@k what you think!'
    says I.

    So, guess who's still looking for work....:Wacky
     
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  4. FeelTheBern

    FeelTheBern Don't tell him, Pike!

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    Here's a suggestion. Why not...retire? You can spend the rest of your days in a rocking chair on your porch, yelling "you darn kids get off my property" at local children who venture onto your front lawn. That said, I think Zara and Oscar would get to any intruders before you'd get the chance to yell at them.
     
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  5. Zaros

    Zaros Pet Forums Resident Evil.

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    I'm not really looking for a job. I've got me hands full at the moment as it is.

    I was simply pondering the questions I might ask a prospective employee if I needed to take on a casual labourer.
    They'd have to be good at handling the dogs mind.....and MrsZee of course.

    But then I reckon if they can handle MrsZee, the dogs would be a walk in the park.
    Not that we have any parks round here because we don't. Well we do, but they're not parks with swings and slides and roundabouts. They're more your national parks with wolves and bears and sh1t, so you'd obviously have to watch where you were walking.:)
     
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  6. FeelTheBern

    FeelTheBern Don't tell him, Pike!

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    stockwellcat. likes this.
  7. kimthecat

    kimthecat PetForums VIP

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    Makes you wonder.
     
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  8. stockwellcat.

    stockwellcat. PetForums VIP

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    Makes you wonder.
     
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  9. FeelTheBern

    FeelTheBern Don't tell him, Pike!

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    A normal person probably wouldn't find this as funny as I do.
     
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  10. stockwellcat.

    stockwellcat. PetForums VIP

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    This would get on a normal persons nerves like it does mine:
     
    #530 stockwellcat., Dec 9, 2017
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2017
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  11. Zaros

    Zaros Pet Forums Resident Evil.

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    Having watched just one half of one episode, I quickly concluded there was something very disturbing and fiendish about Family Guy. Now, I'm not sure what it was that brought me to this conclusion exactly, and have asked myself was it the images or the dialogue or simply the creators who had put the two together?

    I've even entertained the idea the creators were simply catering for an audience that were not advocates of the PC culture and, therefore, leaned more towards and embraced the sick and the twisted.
    Sick and twisted can be fun to some extent, and even I myself cherish the idea we can still be a little twisted even when we're sick. However, I'll never feel comfortable sitting and watching a bloated and obnoxious cartoon character that clearly has a scrotum hanging from where his double chin should be.

    Dysfunctional for me, is and always will be.....
    [​IMG]
     
  12. Zaros

    Zaros Pet Forums Resident Evil.

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    The train now standing on platform one, is not the train you think you want. No voice ever announced over the public address system.

    6:00pm her train was supposed to get into the station and at approximately 5:15pm she rings me...'Hello, how are you?'
    'I'm fine. How about you?
    I answered.
    I'm on the wrong train, but I thought I was on the right train because it was stood at the platform from where my train was supposed to depart'
    I sat in silence as she continued to tell me.....'The problem is'........There seemed to be some reluctance in her tone.....It's an express train and its first stop is over a hundred kilometres passed the place where I want to be'
    'Astounding'
    was the word that quietly echoed within my head.
    'Pull the emergency cord!' I instructed her. 'They'll throw you off at the first station the driver is supposed to pass through as punishment'
    Unfortunately, MrsZee is a goody-goody and the only things she's ever broken in life is my patience.:Rage

    And the quickest and easiest solution to this rare little conundrum?

    She gets off the train at its scheduled station, catches another train back to another station and in the meantime, I drive across country to rendezvous with her. :Facepalm

    I'm telling you now, the first time I ever saw MrsZee, she instantly reminded me of Lydia form the film The Fisher King.....:Shy

    I'm driving home for Christmas
    Oh, I can't wait to see those faces
    I'm driving home for Christmas, yea
    Well I'm moving down that line
    And it's been so long
    But I will be there
    I sing this song
    To pass the time away
    Driving in my car
    Driving home for Christmas......




     
  13. FeelTheBern

    FeelTheBern Don't tell him, Pike!

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    Damian Green...what a t0sser!
     
  14. FeelTheBern

    FeelTheBern Don't tell him, Pike!

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  15. Zaros

    Zaros Pet Forums Resident Evil.

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    I was travelling through Ashby-de-la-Zouch one day and got stuck behind a tractor bouncing its way along Burton road. The driver was shouting 'THE END IS NIGH'
    to pedestrians and other passing motorists and road users.

    The constant threat of Farmer Geddon hangs over the heads of every local in that area.
     
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  16. FeelTheBern

    FeelTheBern Don't tell him, Pike!

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    Is this as funny as I think it is? Probably not.
     
  17. Zaros

    Zaros Pet Forums Resident Evil.

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    ......
    You're right.

    I don't find it as funny as you find it funny. In fact I don't find it funny at all, even though I find Top Gear funny and the comedy trio of Hammond, May and Clarkson, funny. Funny how we all find different things funny, except some posters who claim not to find anything funny because, to them, life is a series of seriously, serious events that are nothing to laugh about.

    Funny old world. :Wacky
     
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  18. FeelTheBern

    FeelTheBern Don't tell him, Pike!

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    I seriously can't remember the last time I used a public bus. Or a train. My memory is going...
     
  19. Zaros

    Zaros Pet Forums Resident Evil.

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    Talking about buses, two police officers have just been to my door and asked me if I could temporarily furnish them with a photo of MrsZee. o_O

    Strange request I thought.:confused:

    After handing over a small photo of the two of us together, one of the officers nodded to his colleague and then said to me; 'I'm afraid to say, it looks as though your wife has been hit by a Bus' :Wideyed

    'I know. I know. But she's very, good with the dogs and she makes a cracking apple pie' I told him.

    Cheeky 845t4rd!:Meh
     
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  20. FeelTheBern

    FeelTheBern Don't tell him, Pike!

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    Now that one "celebration" of corporate greed and annoying adverts is over, how long will it be before Easter paraphernalia starts appearing in the shops?