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C.H.A.T.T.E.R.B.O.X (Please call in to say "Hi")

Discussion in 'Games' started by Silver Jill, Jun 3, 2013.


  1. MilleD

    MilleD PetForums VIP

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    I used to drive an Alfa Selespeed. Gear change on the steering wheel. I felt like I was in formula 1. But give over the gear change to the car? No chance :)
     
  2. jetsmum

    jetsmum PetForums VIP

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    Has anyone else had strange things happen when logging in to games? When I logged in the games were all out of order, some going back for years, so that's why some old threads have been put back into play. There's still a lot of life left in them, :)
     
  3. FeelTheBern

    FeelTheBern They don't like it up 'em, sir!

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    Quite a lot of semi-automatics have paddle shifts behind the wheel these days. It's become much more common in recent years.
     
  4. Zaros

    Zaros Pet Forums, P/resident Evil

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    I didn't watch a documentary about charities. I just pointlessly writed something pointless down. :Writing

    When our brand new car had to go in for a warranty repair, we had a replacement car provided. This vehicle was not a courtesy car provided by the dealership. It was provided by another company which the dealership covered the cost.
    'Can you drive automatics' asked the service manager.o_O

    'Forward to go forward. Back to go back, you mean?' I replied.

    He looked at me somewhat puzzled and said, 'Some people get confused and crash them within a short distance'

    I've driven several times in America, they only seem to have auto boxes' I informed him.:Smug

    I then showed him my driving licence which informed him of my legal driving entitlements and then casually passed the comment, 'See, I can drive anything I want. Including your wife wild provided I get her in the right gear';)

    During one of my tours of America, I partook of the Richard Petty driving experience.
    750bhp and designed to go in a straight line, the guy said to me, 'You being a Brit will find the 'four on the floor' a piece of cake'.:D
    It was too. Fastest lap time, even with a technical hitch on the way out of the pits.:Facepalm

    And now for the pointless bit.

    Yesterday I broke the nib off my carpenter's pencil and asked MrsZee to help me look for it.
    'Can't you just resharpen it?' she enquired.

    'Square pegs don't fit into round holes I told her.:D

    Bless her, she did try her best.....and my patience.:Hilarious
     
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  5. FeelTheBern

    FeelTheBern They don't like it up 'em, sir!

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    So you're saying I should never ever have sex before marriage?
    That's right. Or angels will kill you. Goodnight.
     
  6. Zaros

    Zaros Pet Forums, P/resident Evil

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    You wouldn't buy a car without first giving it a test drive would you?

    Of course you wouldn't.

    I mean, you wouldn't buy a suit without first making sure it fitted you correctly in all the right places.

    Would you?o_O

    Imagine then, on your wedding night, and there before you stands your virgin bride with not a stitch on, and yet her birthday suit appears as though the tailor dropped the occasional stitch here and there, and what's proving even more disturbing, she seems to be unravelling before your very eyes.:Wideyed

    And don't think you can avoid those disappoints by mail order or Thai brides via a catalogue either.

    Those goods require checking.

    Thai brides have been known to come with a little unexpected extra.:Jawdrop
     
  7. Zaros

    Zaros Pet Forums, P/resident Evil

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    The day has finally dawned on me that any attempt at humour or fun is no longer greatly appreciated or tolerated.

    For loose example, it appears fine to submit posts that openly support our favourite liar, cheat, thief and murderer.....maybe I should have just written politician in order to keep it simple, yet any attempt at poking fun at the scallywags is frowned upon.

    On Monday morning I fully intend to visit Worzel Gummidge.com with a view to purchasing a serious head for myself.
    Perhaps they'll have a two for one promotional offer, so maybe I could get me a miserable head too.

    Or a melancholic one. I rather like the sound of that. I once saw a painting, entitled 'Melancholia' in an art gallery and it quite appealed to me.
    In the abject silence of the room, the ordered mayhem of colours made me think what worthless little creatures we really are.
    Forever on the precipice of the abyss and annihilating each other.
    Life is sh1t and we're just sh1t. Parasites feeding off and from each other.
    All we could ever possibly hope for is a swift and painless death that would spare us the sight of family members fighting over who gets the car, or the house, or who's entitled to more of the entire estate than the next relative and the reason or reasons why.

    In the end some of us are nothing more than biodegradable art. Worm food. Buried deep in the earth so that the living are spared the nauseating and foul stench of our gradual decomposition.

    Unless, of course, we're destined to be cremated when, even after death, we just add to the ever growing problem of choking air pollution
    Smoke and ash, that's all the remainder of us are ever likely to come to.

    Life seems really, really pointless.:(
     
    #507 Zaros, Sep 30, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2017
  8. MilleD

    MilleD PetForums VIP

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    Well I for one do appreciate your attempts at humour.

    This was a pretty sad post to read though. Are you ok @Zaros ?
     
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  9. Zaros

    Zaros Pet Forums, P/resident Evil

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    It's Saturday, and we're having friends round later.

    Hello.

    How are you? How was your journey?

    (Dumb question, no doubt they'll get here in the vehicle they set off in at the other end)
    And if they don't get here at all, well, I have a good supply of quality wines to console myself at their passing.

    When I say we, I actually mean she.

    I don't have any friends because no one understands my English, apart from MrsZee of course. A decade of listening to a hard Yorkshire come Irish accent and trying to decipher and translate the recognisable English from it has had its lasting effects. This is evident by the number of nervous tics that have taken up residence in her face. Still, her medication is great, and completely free of charge.:) The colours I can add to my day are astounding.:Wideyed Mind blowing even.:Wacky

    But thank you kindly for asking after me. :) I'm now off to the wet room to fake my own careless drowning in the hope that I might get to spend a quiet night in by the TV and the dogs.
    If I don't pull it off and it all goes terribly wrong, tomorrow is Sunday and I might just find myself waking up in God's garden.

    Won't that be nice:Angelic
     
  10. FeelTheBern

    FeelTheBern They don't like it up 'em, sir!

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    The Buick's interior was similar to a Merc E Class but it had an old-fashioned automatic gear shift. Julianne Moore was the driving instructor and she was eating fried chicken for some reason. I then crashed into something that was being driven by Phil Collins. Is this a normal thing to dream about? I'm guessing not.
     
  11. Zaros

    Zaros Pet Forums, P/resident Evil

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    There's a fenced off communal gardens and green in the nearby town. It has a sign erected at either entrance that reads; NO FOOTBALL and NO DOG FOULING.

    I pondered a little over these notices and arrived at the conclusion that as dogs were absolutely bloody hopeless at playing footy, there was little to no point in erecting the signs at all.:Wacky

    But councils/municipals like to waste our money, I mean, who seriously has a dog that can read? Oscar definitely can't and, to my knowledge, neither can Zara. Although having said that they seem to be bloody experts at reading our minds.:Meh

    Anyway, on the subject of reading, I've almost completed the final chapter of my autobiography.:) It covers everything MrsZee and I have ever experienced together over the last decade.
    Thing is, I don't want to introduce the instalment simply as Chapter 20, I want it to have a proper, meaningful title and have toyed with the following ideas;

    Chapter 20. Zaros drinks because MrsZee cries.
    Chapter 20. Pop goes the weasel; MrsZee gets a new microwave.
    Chapter 20. From Hell to Helsinki.................and then back again.

    What are your thoughts? :Watching
     
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  12. Zaros

    Zaros Pet Forums, P/resident Evil

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    Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored!

    Let's see what my options are.

    I could torment the life and soul out of MrsZee
    I could torment the life and soul out of one of the dogs. Zara would be the prime target because she won't take any 5h1t from anyone, so it would be interesting to discover where her breaking point would be with me.
    I could torment a few PF members. Although I'm given to thinking that they'd tolerate my nuisance even less than Zara.:Nailbiting
    I could register another account with PFs and compose a troll thread especially for dog chat.

    HELP!

    I have an LGD,
    That doesn't like me,
    So I poke it with a sharp stick.
    But yesterday
    When I looked the other way,
    It bit off my wee d1ck.'

    Should I rehome it?

    I could ring up the Samaritans just to see how long it would take for them to put the phone down on me.
    I could go for a casual stroll in the moonlight..........without my clothes on.
    I could always go to bed.

    Incidentally, I received one of those 'odd' E-mails from a bored housewife today. She claimed to be looking for some action and didn't live far from my location...
    I returned her E-mail, asking if she wouldn't mind coming round to do a little housework to help me out a bit.....

    Still waiting for her to get back to me on that one.:Meh

    I'm off to bed:Yawn
     
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  13. Zaros

    Zaros Pet Forums, P/resident Evil

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    Does anyone know what makes someone an obnoxious fool?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .

    When they just don't know when to speak up
    Or keep the phuq quiet.
    Cos every time they utter a word
    They cause a riot
    But don't fight it
    Ignore it
    Only a fool, without conscious
    Would be equally obnoxious.

    Peace out.
     
  14. Zaros

    Zaros Pet Forums, P/resident Evil

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    It's the big day for me tomorrow.
     
  15. FeelTheBern

    FeelTheBern They don't like it up 'em, sir!

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    [​IMG]
     
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  16. Zaros

    Zaros Pet Forums, P/resident Evil

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    Although I'm a long way off becoming an Octogenarian, I'll admit, I will get there before you.

    If you're bleedin' lucky of course.:D

    Now, as punishment for your sarcasm, I've decided not to share my experience of today with you, or anyone else for that matter.

    And just remember, all the nosy parkers, itching to know what today entailed, will have you alone to blame for their disappointment.:Smug

    :Hilarious
     
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  17. FeelTheBern

    FeelTheBern They don't like it up 'em, sir!

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    Happy birthday @Zaros!
    [​IMG]
    Spend the remainder of your day wishing you were the dog.
     
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  18. Zaros

    Zaros Pet Forums, P/resident Evil

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    Not one to disappoint old chum, but I don't have to fantasize about being a dog.:Smug

    MrsZee treats me like one everyday.:Shy

    Okay, so she might not look like Victoria, but if I screw my eyes up really, really tightly, it doesn't hurt as much when she strikes me for taking a sh1t on the kitchen floor.
     
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  19. Happy Paws Bedford

    Happy Paws Bedford PetForums Senior

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    Hi haven't been on here in ages so thought I'd pop in, say hi and play some games
     
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  20. FeelTheBern

    FeelTheBern They don't like it up 'em, sir!

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    Guess what TV series returns this weekend? "I'm Probably Not Really A Celebrity: What The Hell Am I Doing Here?"
     
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